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Clarissa, whose letter is dated from Coruhill, desires to be eased in some scruples relating to the skill of astrologers. -Referred to the dumb man for
J. C. who proposes a love-case, as he calls it, to the love-casuist, is hereby desired to speak of it to the minister of the parish: it being a case of conscience.
The poor young lady, whose letter is dated October 26, who complains of a harsh guardian and an unkind brother, can only have my good wishes, unless she pleases to be more particular.
The petition of a certain gentleman, whose name I have forgot, famous for renewing the curls of decayed periwigs, is referred to the censor of small
The remonstrance of T. C. against the profanation of the sabbath by barbers, shoe-cleaners, &c., had better be offered to the society of reforraers.
A learned and laborious treatise upon the art of fencing, returned to the author.
To the gentleman of Oxford, who desires me to insert a copy of Latin verses, which were denied a place in the university books. Answer: Nonumque prematur in annum.
To my learned correspondent who writes against Master's gowns, and poke sleeves, with a word in defence of large scarfs. Answer: I resolve not to raise animosities amongst the clergy.
To je lady wbo writes with rage against one of her own sex, upon the account of party warmth. Answer: Is not the lady she writes against reckoned handsome ?
I desire Tom Truelove (who sends me a sonnet upon his mistress, with a desire to print it immediately) to consider that it is long since I was in love.
I shall answer a very profound letter from my old friend the upholsterer, who is still inquisitive whether the king of Sweden be living or dead, by whispering him in the ear, that I believe he is alive.
Let Mr. Dapperwit consider, What is that long story of the cuckoldom to me ?
At the earnest desire of Monimia's lover, who declares himself very penitent, he is recorded in my paper by the name of the faithful Castalio.
The petition of Charles Cocksure, which the petitioner styles “very reasonable,” rejected.
The memorialof Philander, which he desires may be dispatched out of hand, postponed.
I desire S. R. not to repeat the expression "under the sun,” so often in his next letter.
The letter of P. S., who desires either to have it printed entire, or committed to the flames; not to be printed entire. ' ,?
In golden chains the kings of India led,
By longing nations for the throne design’d,
In Haga's towers he waits till eastern gales
But see, to Britain's isle the squadrons stand.
Still is it thine; tho' now the cheerful crew
As in the flood he sails, from either side
The sun now rolling down the western way,
No.620. MONDAY, NOVEMBER, 15, 1714. Hic vir, hic est, tibi quem promitti sæpius
VIRO. Æn, vi. 791. Behold the promis d chief ! HAVING lately presented my reader with a copy of verses full of the false sublime, I shall here communicate to him an excellent specimen of the true: though it hath not been yet published, the judicious reader will readily discern it to be the work of a master; and if he hath read that noble poem on the prospect of peace, he will not be at a loss to guess at the author.
THE ROYAL PROGRESS
Less thick the funny shoals, a countless fry,
those goods in which he makes bis boast Though it Before the whale or kingly dolphin fly;
be true that we can have nothing in us that couga: In one vast shout he seeks the crowded strand,
to raise our vanity, yet a conscious css of our 081 Apd in a peal of thunder gains the land. Welcome, great stranger! to our longing eyes,
merit may be sometiines laudable. The folly these Oh! king desired, adopted Albion cries,
fore lies here: we are apt to pride ourselves in wortbFor thee the East breath'd out a prosp'rous breeze, less, or, perhaps, shameful things; and on the other Bright were the suns, and gently swellid the seas, hand count that disgraceful which is our truest glury. Thy presence did each doubtful heart compose,
“ Hence it is, that the lovers of praise take sruss And factions wonder'd that they once were foes That joyful day they lost each hostile name,
measures to attain it. Would a vain man cobalt The game their aspect, and their voice the same.
his own heart, he would find that if others koer So two fair twins, whose features were design d his weaknesses as well as he himself doth, be could At one soft moment in the mother's mind,
not have the impudence to expect the public esteem. Show each the other with reflected grace,
Pride therefore flows from want of reflective and And the same beauties bloom in either face! The puzzled strangers which is which inquire ; ignorance of ourselves. Knowledge and humility Delusion grateful to the smiling sire.
come upon us together. From that "fair hill, where hoary sages bout
“ The proper way to make an estimate of our To name the stars, and count the heavenly host,
selves, is to consider seriously what it is we value or By the next dawn doth great Augusta rise,
despise in others. A man who boasts of the goods Proud town! the noblest scene beneath the skies. O'er Thames her thousand spires their lustre shed,
of fortune, a gay dress, or a new title, is generally And a vast navy hides his ample bed
the mark of ridicule. We ought therefore not to A floating forest! From the distant strand
admire in ourselves what we are so ready to keep A line of golden cars strikes o'er the land:
at in other men. Britannia's peers in pomp and rich array, Before their king, triumphant lead the way.
“ Much less can we with reason pride ourselves Far as the eye can reach, the gaudy train,
in those things, which at some time of our life te A bright procession, shines along the plain.
shall certainly despise. And yet, if we will give our So haply thro' the heav'n's wide pathless ways selves the trouble of looking backward and forward A comei draws a long-extended blaze ; From east to west burns through th' ethereal frame,
on the several changes which we have already unAnd half heav'n's convex glitters with the flane.
dergone, and hereafter must try, we shall find that Now to the regal towers securely brought,
the greater degrees of our knowledge and wisdom He plans Britannia's glories in his thought,
serve only to show us our own imperfections. Resumes the delegated power he gave,
“ As we rise from childhood to youth, we look Rewards the fajthful, and restores the brave. Whom shall the muse from out the shining throng
with contempt on the toys and tridles which our Select, to heighten and adorn her song
hearts have hitherto been set upon. When we adThee, Halifax. To thy capacious mind,
vance to manhood, we are held wise, in proportioa O man approv'd, is Britain's wealth consign'd.
to our shame and regret for the rashness and extraHer coin (while Nassau fought) debas'd and rude, By thee in beauty and in truth renewid,
vagance of youth. Old age fills us with mortifying An arduous work! again thy charge we see,
reflections upon a life mispent in the pursuit of And thy own care once more returns to thee.
anxious wealth, or uncertain honour. Agreeable to O! forin d in every scene to awe and please,
this gradation of thought in this life, it may be Mix wit with pomp, and dignity with ease Tho' called to shine aloft, thou wilt not scorn
reasonably supposed that, in a future state, the To smile on arts thyself did once adorn :
wisdom, the experience, and the maxims of old age, For this thy name succeeding time shall praise,
will be looked upon by a separate spirit in much the And envy less thy garter than thy bays.
same light as an ancient man now sees the little The muse, if fir'd with thy enliv'ning beams, follies and toyings of infants. The pomps, the Perhaps shall aim at more exalted themes ,
honours, the policies, and arts, of mortal men, will Record our monarch in a nobler strain And sing the op'ning wonders of his reign;
be thought as trifling as hobby-horses, mock battles, Bright Carolina's heavenly beauties trace,
or any other sports that now employ all the cuaning Her valiant consort, and his blooming race.
and strength, and ambition of rational beings from A train of kings their fruitful love supplies, A glorious scene to Albion's ravish'd eyes;
four years old to nine or ten. Who sees by Brunswick's hand her sceptre sway'd, “ If the notion of a gradual rise in beings from And through his line from age to age convey'd the meanest to the Most High be not a vain imagi.
nation, it is not improbable that an angel looks down
upon a man as a man doth upon a creature which No. 621.) WEDNESDAY, NOV. 17, 1714. approaches the nearest to the rational pature. By Postquam se lumine puro
the same rule, if I may indulge my faney in this Implevit, stellasque vagas miratur, et astra
particular, a superior brute looks with a kind of Fixa polis, vidit quanta sub nocte jaceret
pride on one of an inferior species. If they could Nostra dies, risitque sui ludibria Lucan. ix. II. reflect, we might imagine, from the gestures of some Now to the blest abode, with wonder fillid The sun and moving planets he beheld;
of them, that they think themselves the sovereigns Then, looking down on the sun's feeble ray,
of the world, and that all things were made for them. Survey'd our dusky, faint, imperfect day,
Such a thought would not be more absurd in brute And under what a cloud of night we lay:—RowL creatures than one which men are apt to entertain, The following letter having in it some observa- namely, that all the stars in the firmament were tions out of the common road, I shall make it the created only to please their eyes and amuse their entertainment of this day :
imaginations. Mr. Dryden, in his fable of the Cock “ MR. SPECTATOR,
and the Fox, makes a speech for bis hero, the cock,
which is a pretty instance for this purpose. “ The common topics against the pride of man, which are laboured by qorid and declamatory writers,
Then turning, said to Partlet, See, my dear, are taken from the baseness of his original, the im
How lavish nature hath adom'd the year: perfections of his nature, or the short doration of
How the pale primrose and the violet spring,
All these are ours, and I with pleasure sed
Man strutting on two legs, and aping me.'
* What I would observe from the whole is this, sheep that were pounded, by night; but not to let toat we ought to value ourselves upon those things his fellow-servants know it. only which superior beings think valuable, since “ Prevailed upon M. T. Esq. not to take the law of that is the only way for us not to sink in our own the farmer's son for shooting a partridge, and to give esteem hereafter."
him his gun again.
“ Paid the apothecary for curing an old woman
that confessed herself a witch. No. 622.1 FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 1714.
"Gave away my favourite dog, for biting a beggar.
“Made the minister of the parish and a whig -Fallentis semita vitæ.-Hor. 1 Ep. xviii. 103. justice of one mind, by putting them upon explaining A safe private quiet, which betrays
their notions to one another. Itself to ease, and cheats away the days.-POOLET, “ Mem. To turn off Peter for shooting a doe “Mr. Spzctator,
while she was eating acorns out of his hand.
" When my neighbour John, who hath often in" In a former speculation you have observed, that jured me, comes to make his request to-morrow : true greatness doth not consist in that pomp and “ Mem. I have forgiven him. noise wherein the generality of mankind are apt to “ Laid up my chariot, and sold my horses, to replace it. You have there taken notice that virtue lieve the poor in a scarcity of corn. in obscurity often appears more illustrious in the eye “In the same year remitted to my tenants a fifth of superior beings, than all that passes for grandeur part of their rents. and magnificence among men.
“ As I was airing to-day I fell into a thought that "When we look back upon the history of those warmed my heart, and shall, I hope, be the better who have borne the part of kings, statesmen, or com- for it as long as I live. manders, they appear to us stripped of those outside * Mem. To charge my son in private to erect no ornaments that dazzle their contemporaries; and we monument for me; but not to put this in my last will." regard their persons as great or little in proportion to the eminence of their virtues or vices. The wise sayings, generous sentiments, or disinterested con- No. 623.] MONDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 1714. duct of a philosopher ander mean circumstances of
Sed mihi vel tellus optem prius ima dehiscat; life, set him higher in our esteem than the mighty Vel pater omnipotens adigat me fulmine ad umbras, potentates of the earth, when we view them both Pallentes umbras Erebi, noctemque profundam, through the long prospect of many ages. Were
Ante, pudor, quam te violem, aut tua jura resolvam.
Ile meos, primus qui me sibi junxit, amores the memoirs of an obscure man, who lived up to the Abstulit; ille habeat secum, servetque sepulcro. dignity of his nature, and according to the rules of
VIRG. Æn, iv. 24 virtue, to be laid before us, we should find nothing But first let yawning earth a passage rend, in such a character which might not set him on a
And let me thro' the dark abyss descend : level with men of the highest stations. The follow
First let avenging Jove, with flames from high,
Drive down this body to the nether sky, ing extract out of the private papers of an honest Condemn'd with ghosts in endless night to lie; country gentleman will set this matter in a clear Before I break the plighted faith I gave; light. Your reader will, perhaps, conceive a greater
No: he who had my vows sball ever have;
For whom I lov'd on earth, I worship in the grave. idea of him from these actions done in secret, and
DRYDEN. without a witness, than of those which have drawn upon them the admiration of multitudes.
I AM obliged to my friend the love-casuist for the
following curious piece of antiquity, which I shall MEMOIRS.
communicate to the public in his own words :“In my twenty-second year I found a violent “ MR. SPECTATOR, affection for my cousin Charles's wife growing upon “ You may remember that I lately transmitted to me, wherein I was in danger of succeeding, if I had you an account of an ancient custom in the manors not upon that account begun my travels into foreign of East and West Enborne, in the county of Berks, countries.
and elsewhere. If a customary tenant die, the "A little after my return into England, at a pri- widow shall have what the law calls her free bench, vate meeting with my uncle Francis, I refused the in all his copyhold lands dum sola et casta fuerit ; offer of his estate, and prevailed upon him not to that is, while she lives single and chaste ; but if she disinherit his son Ned.
commit incontinency, she forfeits her estate ; yet " Mem. Never to tell this to Ned, lest he should if she will come into the court riding backward think hardly of his deceased father : though he con- upon a black ram, with his tail in her hand, and tinues to speak ill of me for that very reason. say the words following, the steward is bound by the
"Prevented a scandalous lawsuit betwixt my custom to re-admit her to her free bench :Dephew Harry and his mother, by allowing her un.
• Here I am, derhand, out of my own pocket, so much money
Riding upon a black ram, Fearly as the dispute was about.
Like a whore as I am; " Procured a benefice for a young divine, who is
And for my crincum crancum sister's son to the good man who was my tutor, and
Have lost my bincum bancum;
And for my tail's game hath been dead twenty years.
Have done this worldly shame “Gare ten pounds to poor Mrs.
Therefore, I pray, you Mr. Steward, let me have H's widow.
my land again." " Mem. To retrench one dish at my table, until " After having informed you that my Lord Coke I have fetched it up again.
observes, that this is the most frail and slippery te“Mem. To repair my house and finish my gar-nure of any in England, I shall tell you, since the dens, in order to employ poor people after harvest- writing that letter, i have, according to my promise, time.
been of great pains in searching out the records of "Ordered Joku to..et out goodman
D's the black ram; and have at last met with the pro.
-, my friend
ceedings of the court-baron, held in that behalf, for. “ Several widows of the neighbourhood, being the space of a whole day. The record saith, that a brought upon their trial, they showed that they did strict' inquisition having been made into the right not buld of the manor, and were discharged accord. of the tenants to their several estates, by a crafty ingly. old steward, he found that many of the lands of the “ A pretty young creature who closed the procesmanor were, by default of the several widows, for- sion, came ambling in, with so bewitching an air, feited the lord, and accordingly would hare that the steward was observed to cast a sheep's eşe entered on the premises ; upon which the good upon her, and married ber within a month after the women demanded the benefit of the ram.' The death of his wife. steward, after having perused their several pleas, “N, B. Mrs. Touchwood appeared according to adjourned the court to Barnaby bright,* that they summons, but had nothing laid to her charge; harmight have day enough before them.
ing lived irreproachably since the decease of her « The court being set, and filled with a great con- busband, who left her a widow in the sixty-ninta course of people, who came from all parts to see the year of her age. solemnity: the fir:t who entered was the widow
“I am, Sir," &c. Frontly, who had made her appearance in the last year's cavalcade. The register observes that finding it an easy pad-ram, and foreseeing she might have No. 624.] WEDNESDAY, NOV. 2A, 1714. further occasion for it, she purchased it of the steward.
Audire, atque togam jubeo componere. quisquis “ Mrs. Sarah Dainty, relict of Mr. John Dainty,
mala, aut argenti pallet amore; who was the greatest prude of the parish, came next Quisquis luxuria
Hor. 2 Sat iii. 71. in the procession. She at first made some difficulty Sit still, and hear, those whom proud thoughts do swell, of taking the tail in her hand; and was observed, Those that look pale by loving coin too well;
Whom luxury corrupts.in pronouncing the form of penance, to soften the two most emphatical words into clincum clancum ; Mankind is divided into two parts, the busy and but the steward took care to make her speak plain the idle. The busy world may be divided into the English before he would let her have her land again. virtuous and the vicious. The vicious again into
• The third widow that was brought to this worldly the covetous, the ambitious, and the sensual. The shame, being mounted upon a vicious ram, had the idle part of mankind are in a state inferior to any misfortune to be thrown by him: upon which she one of these. All the other are engaged in the purhoped to be excused from going through the rest of suit of happiness, though often misplaced, and are the ceremony; but the steward being well versed in therefore more likely to be attentive to such means the law, observed very wisely upon this occasion, as shall be proposed to them for that end. The idle, that the breaking of the rope does not hinder the who are neither wise for this world nor the next, execution of the criminal.
are emphatically called by Doctor Tillotson, " fools “ The fourth lady upon record was the widow at large.” They propose to themselves no end, but Ogle, a famous coquette, who had kept half-a-score run adrift with every wind. Advice, therefore, young fellows off and on for the space of two years: would be but thrown away upon them, since they but having been more kind to her carter John, she would scarce take the pains to read it. I shall not was introduced with the huzzas of all her lovers fatigue any of this worthless tribe with a long haabout her.
rangue; but will leave them with this short saying "Mrs. Sable appearing in her weeds, which were of Plató, that “ labour is preferable to idleness, as very new and fresh, and of the same colour with her brightness to rust." whimsical palfrey, made a very decent figure in the The pursuits of the active part of mankind are solemnity.
either in the paths of religion and virtue; or, on the " Another, who had been summoned to make her other band, in the roads to wealth, honours, or appearance, was excused by the steward, as well pleasure. I shall, therefore, compare the pursuits knowing in his heart that the good 'squire himself of avarice, ambition, and sensual delight with their had qualified her for the ram.
opposite virtues ; and shall consider which of these " Mrs. Quick, having nothing to object against principles engages men in a course of the greatest the indictment, pleaded her belly. But it was re- labour, suffering, and assiduity. Most men in their membered that she made the same excuse the year cool reasonings are willing to allow that a course of before. Upon which the steward observed, that she virtue will in the end be rewarded the most amply: might so contrive it, as never to do the service of but represent the way to it as rugged and narron. the manor.
If, therefore, it can be made appear, that men strugo “ The widow Fidget being cited into court, in- gle through as many troubles to be miserable, as sisted that she had done no more since the death of they do to be bappy, my readers may, perhaps, be her husband
than what she used to do in his lifetime; persuaded to be good when they find they shall lose and withal desired Mr. Steward to consider his own nothing by it. wife's case if he should chance to die before her. “ The next in order was a dowager of a very cor. than the saint: the pains of getting, the fears of
First, for avarice. The miser is more industrious pulent make, who would have been escused as not losing, and the inability of enjoying his wealth, finding any ram that was able to carry her; upon have been the mark of salire in all ages. Were his which the steward commuted her punishment, and repentance
upon his neglect of a good bargain, Luis ordered her to make her entry upon a black ox. " The widow Maskwell, a woman who had long a sum, and his fear of falling into want, directed to
sorrow for being over-reached, his hope of inproving lived with a most unblemished character, having their proper objects, they would make so many turned off her old chamber-maid in a pet, was by different Christian graces and virtues. He ma! that revengeful creature brought in upon the black apply to himself a great part of St. Paul's catalogue ram nine times the same day.
of sufferings." In journeyings often; in perils of • Then the eleventh, now the twonty-socond of Jane, being waters, in perils of robbers, in perils among
false one of the longest days in the year.
brethren. In wearidess and painfulness, in walcb
vogs often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often." hath the blackest eyes and wbitest teeth you ever sit how much less expense might he “lay up to saw. Though he is but a younger brother, he bimself treasures in heaven !" Ör, if. I may in this dresses like a man of quality, and nobody comes into place be allowed to add the saying of a great a room like him. I know he hath refused great philosopher, he
may provide such possessions as offers, and if he cannot marry me he will never have fear neither arms, nor men, nor Jove himself.” anybody else. But my father hath forbid him
In the second place, if we look upon the toils of the house, because he sent me a copy of verses; ambition in the same light as we have considered for he is one of the greatest wits in town. My those of avarice, we shall readily own that far less eldest sister, who with her good will would call me trouble is requisite to gain lasting glory than the miss as long as I live, must be married before me, power and reputation of a few years; or, in other they say. She tells them that Mr. Fondle makes a words, we may with more ease deserve honour than fool of ine, and will spoil the child, as she calls me, obtain it. The ambitious mau should remember like a confident thing as she is. In short, I am Cardinal Wolsey's complaint, “ Had I served God resolved to marry Mr. Fondle, if it be but to spite with the same application wherewith I served my her. "But because I would do nothing that is im- , king, he would not have forsaken me in my old age. prudent, I beg of you to give me your answers to The cardinal here softens his ambition by the spe- some questions I will write down, and desire you to cious pretence of “serving his king;” whereas his get them printed in the Spectator, and I do not words, in the proper construction, imply, that, if doubt but you will give such advice as, I am sure, instead of being acted* hy ambition, he had been I shall follow. acted* by religion, he should have now felt the “ When Mr. Fondle looks upon me for half an comforts of it, when the whole world turned its back hour together, and calls me angel, is he not in love?" upon him.
Answer. No. Thirdly, let us compare the pains of the sensual May not I be certain he will be a kind huswith those of the virtuous, and see which are heavier band, that has promised me half my portion in pinin the balance. It may seem strange, at the first money, and to keep me a coach and six in the barview, that the men of pleasure should be advised to gain ?"-No. change their course, because they lead a painful life. " Whether I, who have been acquainted with him Yet when we see them so active and vigilant in this whole year almost, am not a better judge of his quest of delight; under so many disquiets, and the merit, than my father and mother, who never heard sport of such various passions ; let them answer, as him talk but at table ?"-No. they can, if the pains they undergo do not outweigh " Whether I am not old enough to choose for their enjoyments. The infidelities on the one part myself?"-No. between the two sexes, and the caprices on the " Whether it would not have been rude in me to other, the debasement of reason, the pangs of ex- refuse a lock of his hair?"--No. pectation, the disappointments in possession, the “ Should not I be a very barbarous creature, if I stings of remorse, the vanities and vexations attend did not pity a man that is always sighing for my ing even the most refined delights that make up this sake?”—No. business of life, render it so silly and uncomfortable, “ Whether you would not advise me to run away that no man is thought wise uotil he hath got over with the poor man?”—No. it, or happy, but in proportion as he hath cleared " Whether you do not think, that if I will not hiinself from it.
have him, he will not drown himself?"-No. The sum of all is this. Man is made an active “What shall I say to him the next time he asks being. Whether he walks in the paths of virtue or me if I will marry him ?"-No. vice, he is sure to meet with many difficulties to prove bis patience and excite his industry. The The following letter requires neither introduction same if not greater labour, is required in the service nor answer :of vice and folly as of virtue and wisdom; and he hath this easy choice left him, whether, with the
“ MR. SPECTATOR, strength he is master of, he will purchase happiness “ I wonder that, in the present situation of affairs, or repentance.
you can take pleasure in writing any thing but news;
for, in a word, who minds any thing else? The No. 625.) FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 26, 1714. Something new every hour of life, is the noblest en
pleasure of increasing in knowledge, and learning
tertainment of a rational creature. I have a very De tenero meditatur ungui.-HOR. 3 Od. vi. 23. good ear for a secret, and am naturally of a com
Love, from her tender years, her thoughts employd municative temper; by which meaus Iam capable The love-casuist hath referred to me the following of doing you great services in this way. In order letter of queries, with his answers to each question, to make myself useful, I am early in the anti-chamfor my approbation. I have accordingly considered ber, where I thrust my head into the thick of the the several matters therein contained, and hereby press, and catch the news at the opening of the door, confirm and ratify his answers, and require the while it is warm. Sometimes I stand by the beefgentle querist to conform herself thereunto.
eaters, and take the buzz as it passes by me. At
other times I lay my ear close to the wall, and suck " Sir,
in many a valuable whisper, as it runs in a straight "I was thirteen the 9th of November last, and line from corner to corner. When I am weary with mnet now begin to think of settling myself in the standing, I repair to one of the neighbouring coffeeworld, and so I would humbly beg your advice, houses, where I sit sometimes for a whole day, and vaat I must do with Mr. Fondle, who makes his have the news as it comes from court fresh and fresh. aadresses to me. He is a very pretty man, and in short, Sir, I spare no pains to know how the world
goes. A piece of news loses its flavour when it hath been an hour in the air. I love, if I may so speak,