MARTINUS SCRIBLERUS,

ΠΕΡΙ ΒΑΘΟΥΣ:

Ο R,

Of the ART of

SINKING in POETRY.

Written in the Year 1727.

02

MARTINUS SCRIBLERUS

ΠΕΡΙ ΒΑΘΟΥΣ.

CHAP. I.

T hath been long (my dear Countrymen) the fubject of my concern and furprize, that whereas numberless Poets, Critics, and Orators have compiled and digested the Art of ancient Poefy, there hath not rifen among us one perfon fo public-fpirited, as to perform the like for the Although it is univerfally known, that our every-way induftrious Moderns, both in the Weight of their writings, and in the Velocity of their judgments, do fo infinitely excel the faid Ancients.

Modern.

Nevertheless, too true it is, that while a plain and direct road is paved to their úos, or Sublime; no tract has been yet chalk'd out, to arrive at our Babos, or Profund. The Latins, as they came between the Greeks and Us, make ufe of the word Altitudo, which implies equally height and depth. Wherefore confidering with no small grief, how many promifing Genius's of this age are wandering (as I may fay) in the dark without a guide, I have undertaken this arduous but neceffary task, to lead them as it were by the hand, and step by step, the gentle down-hill way to the Bathos; the bottom, the

end, the central point, the non plus ultra, of true Modern Poefy!

When I confider (my dear Countrymen) the extent, fertility, and populoufnefs of our Lowlands of Parnaffus, the flourishing ftate of our Trade, and the plenty of our Manufacture; there are two reflections which administer great occafion of furprize: The one, that all dignities and honours fhould be beftowed upon the exceeding few meager inhabitants of the Top of the mountain; the other, that our own nation fhould have arrived to that pitch of greatnefs it now poffeffes, without any regular fyftem of Laws. As to the firft, it is with great pleasure I have obferved of late the gradual decay of Delicacy and Refinement among mankind, who are become too reafonable to require that we should labour with infinite pains to come up to the taste of these Mountaineers, when they without any may condefcend to ours. But as we now have an unquestionable Majority on our fide. I doubt not but we shall shortly be able to level these Highlanders, and procure a farther vent for our own product, which is already so much relished, encouraged, and rewarded, by the Nobility and Gentry of Great Britain.

pur

Therefore to fupply our former defect, I pofe to collect the fcattered Rules of our Art into regular Institutes, from the example and practice of the deep Genius's of our nation; imitating herein my predeceffors the Master of Alexander, and the Secretary of the renowned Zenobia. And in this my undertaking I am the

more animated, as I expect more success than has attended even thofe great Critics fince their Laws (tho' they might be good) have ever been flackly executed, and their Precepts (however ftrict) obey'd only by fits, and by a very fmall number.

At the fame time I intend to do justice upon our neighbours, inhabitants of the upper Parnaffus; who, taking advantage of the rifing ground, are perpetually throwing down rubbish, dirt and ftones upon us, never fuffering us to live in peace. These men, while they enjoy the crystal stream of Helicon, envy us our common water, which (thank our ftars) tho' it is somewhat muddy, flows in much greater abundance. Nor is this the greatest injustice that we have to complain of; for though it is evident that we never made the least attempt or inroad into their territories, but lived contented in our native fens; they have often not only committed Petty Larcenies upon our borders, but driven the country, and carried off at once whole Cartloads of our manufacture; to reclaim fome of which stolen goods is part of the defign of this Treatise.

For we fhall fee in the course of this work, that our greatest Adverfaries have fometimes defcended towards us; and doubtless might now and then have arrived at the Bathos itself, had it not been for that mistaken opinion they all entertained, that the Rules of the Ancients were equally neceffary to the Moderns; than which there cannot be a more grievous Error,