Agam. Is not yon Diomed, with Calchas' daughter?

Ulyss. 'Tis he, I ken the manner of his gait;
He rises on the toe: that spirit of his
In aspiration lifts him from the earth.

Enter Diomedes, with Cressida.
Agam. Is this the lady Cressid?
Dio. Even she.

Agam. Most dearly welcome to the Greeks, sweet lady.

Nest. Our general doth salute you with a kiss. Ulyss. Yet is the kindness but particular; 'Twere better, she were kiss'd in general.

Nest. And very courtly counsel: I'll begin. So much for Nestor.

Achilles bids you welcome.

Men. I had good argument for kissing once.
Patr. But that's no argument for kissing now:

For thus popp'd Paris in his hardiment;
And parted thus you and your argument.

Agam. Which way would Hector have it Ene. He cares not, he'll obey conditions. Achil. 'Tis done like Hector; but securely done, A little proudly, and a great deal misprising The knight oppos'd.

Ene. If not Achilles, sir,

scorns!

For which we lose our heads, to gild his horns. Patr. The first was Menelaus' kiss ;-this, mine:

Patroclus kisses you.

Men. O, this is trim.

Patr. Paris, and I, kiss evermore for him. Men. I'll have my kiss, sir:—Lady, by your leave.

Cres. In kissing, do you render, or receive?
Patr. Both take and give.

Cres. I'll make my match to live,
The kiss you take is better than you give;
Therefore no kiss.

Men. I'll give you boot, I'll give you three for

one.

Cres. You're an odd man; give even, or give

none.

Men. An odd man, lady? every man is odd. Cres. No, Paris is not; for, you know, 'tis true, That you are odd, and he is even with you.

Men. You fillip me o'the head.

Cres. No, I'll be sworn.

Ulyss. It were no match, your nail against his horn.

May I, sweet lady, beg a kiss of you?

Cres. You may.
Ulyss. I do desire it.
Cres. Why, beg then.

Ulyss. Why then, for Venus' sake, give me a kiss,

When Helen is a maid again, and his.

Cres. I am your debtor, claim it when 'tis due. Ulyss. Never's my day, and then a kiss of you. Dio. Lady, a word;-I'll bring you to your

father [Diomedes leads out Cressida.

Achil. If not Achilles, nothing.

[this:

Ene. Therefore Achilles: but, whate'er, know In the extremity of great and little, Valour and pride excel themselves in Hector; The one almost as infinite as all, The other blank as nothing. Weigh him well, And that, which looks like pride, is courtesy. This Ajax is half made of Hector's blood: In love whereof, half Hector stays at home; Half heart, half hand, half Hector comes to seek This blended knight, half Trojan, and half Greek. Achil. A maiden battle then?-O, I perceive you.

Re-enter Diomedes.

Agam. Here is sir Diomed:-go, gentle knight, Stand by our Ajax: as you and lord Æneas Consent upon the order of their fight, So be it; either to the uttermost,

Or else a breath: the combatants being kin,
Half stints their strife before their strokes begin.
[Ajax and Hector enter the lists.
Ulyss. They are oppos'd already.
Agam. What Trojan is that same, that looks
so heavy?
[knight;
Ulyss. The youngest son of Priam, a true
Not yet mature, yet matchless; firm of word
Speaking in deeds, and deedless in his tongue;
Not soon provok'd, nor, being provok'd, soon
calm'd:

His heart and hand both open, and both free;
For what he has, he gives, what thinks, he shows;
Yet gives he not till judgment guide his bounty,
Nor dignifies an impair thought with breath:
Manly as Hector, but more dangerous;
For Hector, in his blaze of wrath, subscribes
To tender objects; but he, in heat of action,

[trumpets cease.

Agam. His blows are well dispos'd :—there,

Dio. You must no more.

Ene. Princes, enough, so please you.
Ajax. I am not warm yet, let us fight again.
Dio. As Hector pleases.

Hect. Why then, will I no more:

Thou art, great lord, my father's sister's son,
A cousin-german to great Priam's seed;
The obligation of our blood forbids.
A gory emulation 'twixt us twain:
Were thy commixion Greek and Trojan so,
That thou could'st say-This hand is Grecian all,
And this is Trojan; the sinews of this leg
All Greek, and this all Troy; my mother's blood
Runs on the dexter cheek, and this sinister
Bounds-in my father's; by Jove multipotent,
Thou should'st not bear from me a Greekish
member

Wherein my sword had not impressure made
Of our rank feud. But the just gods gainsay,
That any drop thou borrow'st from thy mother,
My sacred aunt, should by my mortal sword
Be drain'd! Let me embrace thee, Ajax:
By him that thunders, thou hast lusty arms;
Hector would have them fall upon him thus:
Cousin, all honour to thee!

Ajax. I thank thee, Hector;
Thou art too gentle, and too free a man:
I came to kill thee, cousin, and bear hence
A great addition earned in thy death.

Hect. Not Neoptolemus so mirable [O yes
'On whose bright crest, Fame, with her loud'st
Cries, This is he,) could promise to himself
A thought of added honour torn from Hector.
Ene. There is expectance here from both the
What further you will do.

Hect. We'll answer it;

[sides,

The issue is embracement :-Ajax, farewell.
Ajas. If I might in entreaties find success,
(As seld' I have the chance,) I would desire
My famous cousin to our Grecian tents.

Dio. 'Tis Agamemnon's wish: and great
Achilles

[cousin;

Doth long to see unarm'd the valiant Hector.
Hect. Eneas, call my brother Troilus to me:
And signify this loving interview
To the expecters of our Trojan part;
Desire them home.-Give me thy hand, my
I will go eat with thee, and see your knights.
Ajax. Great Agamemnon comes to meet us here.
Hect. The worthiest of them tell me name by
But for Achilles, my own searching eyes [name;
Shall find him by his large and portly size.

Agam. Worthy of arms! as welcome as to one That would be rid of such an enemy;

Mock not, that I affect the untraded oath ;
Your quondom wife swears still by Venus' glove :
She's well, but bade me not commend her to you.
Men. Name her not now, sir; she's a deadly
Hect. O, pardon; I offend.
[theme.

Nest. I have, thou gallant Trojan, seen thee oft,
Labouring for destiny, make cruel way
Through ranks of Greekish youth: and I have
seen thee,

As hot as Perseus, spur thy Phrygian steed,
Despising many forfeits and subduements,
When thou hast hung thy advanc'd sword l'the
Not letting it decline on the declin'd;
That I have said to some my standers-by,
Lo, Jupiter is yonder, dealing life!

[air,

And I have seen thee pause, and take thy breath,
When that a ring of Greeks have hemm'd thee in,
Like an Olympian wrestling: This have I seen;
But this thy countenance, still lock'd in steel,
I never saw till now. I knew thy grandsire,
And once fought with him: he was a soldier
good;

By, by great Mars, the captain of us all,
Never like thee: Let an old man embrace thee,
And, worthy warrior, welcome to our tents.
Ene. 'Tis the old Nestor.

Hect. Let me embrace thee, good old chronicle, Thou hast so long walk'd hand in hand_with time:

Most reverend Nestor, I am glad to clasp thee. Nest. I would, my arms could match thee in contention,

As they contend with thee in courtesy.
Hect. I would they could.

Nest. Ha!

Hect. I must not believe you: There they stand yet: and modestly, I think, The fall of every Phrygian stone will cost Á drop of Grecian blood: the end crowns all; And that old common arbitrator, Time, Will one day end it.

Ulyss. So to him we leave it.

Most gentle, and most valiant Hector, welcome :
After the general, I beseech you next
To feast with me, and see me at my tent.

Achil. I shall forestall thee, lord Ulysses, thou!
Now, Hector, I have fed mine eyes on thee;
I have with exact vicw perus'd thee, Hector,
And quoted joint by joint,

Hect. Is this Achilles? Achil. I am Achilles.

Hect. Stand fair, I pray thee: let me look on Achil. Behold thy fill.

Hect. Nay, I have done already.

[thee.

Achil. Thou art too brief; I will the second time, As I would buy thee, view thee limb by limb. Hect. O, like a book of sport thou'lt read me o'er ;

But there's more in me, than thou understand'st.
Why dost thou so oppress me with thine eye?
Achil. Tell me, you heavens, in which part of
his body
[there?
Shall I destroy him? whether there, there, or
That I may give the local wound a name;
And make distinct the very breach, whereout
Hector's great spirit flew: answer me, heavens !

Hect. It would discredit the bless'd gods, proud
To answer such a question: Stand again: [man,
Think'st thou to catch my life so pleasantly,
As to prenominate in nice conjecture,
Where thou wilt hit me dead?

Achil. How now, thou core of envy? Thou crusty batch of nature, what's the news? Ther. Why, thou picture of what thou seemest, and idol of idiot-worshippers, here's a letter for thee.

Achil. From whence, fragment?

Ther. Why, thou full dish of fool, from Troy. Patr. Who keeps the tent now?

Ther. The surgeon's box, or the patient's wound. Patr. Well said, Adversity! and what need these tricks?

Ther. Pr'ythee be silent, boy; I profit not by

His insolence draws folly from my lips;
But I'll endeavour deeds to match these words,
Or may I never-

Ajar. Do not chafe thee, cousin ;—
And you, Achilles, let these threats alone,
Till accident, or purpose, bring you to't:-
You may have every day enough of Hector,
If you have stomach; the general state, I fear,
Can scarce entreat you to be odd with him.

Hect. I pray you, let us see you in the field; We have had pelting wars, since you refus'd The Grecians' cause.

Achil. Dost thou entreat me, Hector? To-morrow, do I meet thee, fell as death; To-night, all friends.

Hect. Thy hand upon that match. [my tent; Agam. First, all you peers of Greece, go to There in the full convive we: afterwards, As Hector's leisure and your bounties shall Concur together, severally entreat him.— Beat loud the tabourines, let the trumpets blow, That this great soldier may his welcome know. [exeunt all but Troilus and Ulysses. Tro. My lord Ulysses, tell me, I beseech you, In what place of the field does Calchas keep? Ulyss. At Menelaus' tent, most princely

Troilus:

There Diomed doth feast with him to-night;
Who neither looks upon the heaven, nor earth,
But gives all gaze and bent of amorous view
On the fair Cressid.

Tro. Shall I, sweet lord, be bound to you 80, After we part from Agamemnon's tent, [much, To bring me thither?

Ulyss. You shall command me, sir. As gentle tell me, of what honour was This Cressida in Troy? Had she no lover there, That wails her absence? [scars,

Tro. O, sir, to such as boasting show their A mock is due. Will you walk on, my lord? She was belov'd, she lov'd; she is, and doth: But, still, sweet love is food for fortune's tooth. [exeunt.

V.

thy talk; thou art thought to be Achilles' male varlet.

Patr. Male varlet, you rogue! what's that?

Ther. Why, his masculine whore. Now the rotten diseases of the south, the guts-griping, ruptures, catarrhs, loads o'gravel i'the back, lethargies, cold palsies, raw eyes, dirt-rotten livers, wheezing lungs, bladders full of imposthume, sciaticas, lime-kilns i'the palm, incurable bone-ache, and the rivalled fee-simple of the tetter, take and take again such preposterous discoveries!

Patr. Why, thou damnable box of envy, thou, what meanest thou to curse thus?

Ther. Do I curse thee?

Patr. Why, no, you ruinous butt; you whore son indistinguishable cur, no.

Ther. No? why art thou then exasperate, thou idle immaterial skeinsleive silk, thou green sarcenet flap for a sore eye, thou tassel of a prodigal's purse, thou? Ah, how the poor world is

pestered with such water-flies; diminutives of nature!

Patr. Out, gall!

Ther. Finch-egg!

Achil. My sweet Patroclus, I am thwarted
quite

From my great purpose in to-morrow's battle.
Here is a letter from queen Hecuba;
A token from her daughter, my fair love;
Both taxing me, and gaging me to keep

An oath that I have sworn. I will not break it:
Fall, Greeks; fail, fame; honour, or go, or stay;
My major vow lies here, this I'll obey.-
Come, come, Thersites, help to trim my tent;
This night in banqueting must all be spent.-
Away, Patroclus. [exeunt Achilles and Patroclus.
Ther. With too much blood, and too little
brain, these two may run mad; but if with too
much brain, and too little blood, they do, I'll be
a curer of madmen. Here's Agamemnon,-an
honest fellow enough, and one that loves quails;
but he has not so much brain as ear-wax: And
the goodly transformation of Jupiter there, his
brother, the bull,-the primitive statue, and
oblique memorial of cuckolds; a thrifty shoeing-
horn in a chain, hanging at his brother's leg,-
to what form, but that he is, should wit larded
with malice, and malice forced with wit, turn
him to? To an ass, were nothing; he is both ass
and ox: to an ox were nothing: he is both ox
and ass. To be a dog, a mule, a cat, a fitchew,
a toad, a lizard, an owl, a puttock, or a herring
without a roe, I would not care: but to be Mene-
laus, I would conspire against destiny. Ask me
not what I would be, if I were not Thersites ;
for I care not to be the louse of a lazar, so I were
not Menelaus.-Hey-day! spirits and fires!
Enter Hector, Troilus, Ajax, Agamemnon, Ulysses,
Nestor, Menelaus, and Diomed, with lights.
Agam. We go wrong, we go wrong.
Ajax. No, yonder 'tis ;

There, where we see the lights

Hect. I trouble you.

Ajar. No, not a whit.

Ulyss. Here comes himself to guide you.
Enter Achilles.

Achil. Welcome, brave Hector; welcome,

Hect. Give me your hand.
Ulyss. Follow his torch, he goes
To Calchas' tent; I'll keep you company.
[aside to Troilus.

Tro. Sweet sir, you honour me.
Hect. And so good night.
[exit Diomed; Ulysses and Troilus following.
Achil. Come, come, enter my tent.

[exeunt Achilles, Hector, Ajax, and Nestor. Ther. That same Diomed's a false-hearted rogue, a most unjust knave; I will no moro trust him when he leers, than I will a serpent when he hisses: he will spend his mouth, and promise, like Brabler the hound; but when he performs, astronomers foretell it; it is prodigious, there will come some change; the sun borrows of the moon, when Diomed keeps his word. will rather leave to see Hector, than not to dog him: they say, he keeps a Trojan drab, and uses the traitor Calchas' tent: I'll after.-Nothing but lechery! all incontinent varlets! [exit.

SCENE II. THE SAME. BEFORE CALCHAS' TENT.
Enter Diomedes.

Dio. What, are you up here, ho? speak.
Cal. [within.] Who calls?

I

Dio. Diomed.-Calchas, I think.-Where's your daughter?

Cal. [within.] She comes to you.

Enter Troilus and Ulysses, at a distance; after them Thersites.

Ulyss. Stand where the torch may not discover

Tro. Thy better must.

Cras. Hark! one word in your ear.

Tro. O plague and madness!

Tro. I pr'ythee, stay.

Ulyss. You have not patience; come.

Dio. I had your heart before, this follows it. Tro. I did swear patience.

Cres. You shall not have it, Diomed; 'faith, you shall not;

I'll give you something else.

Dio. I will have this; whose was it?

Cres. 'Tis no matter.

Dio. Come, tell me whose it was.

Cres. 'Twas one's that lov'd me better than

torments,

I will not speak a word.

Dio. And so, good night.

Cres. Nay, but you part in anger.

Tro. Doth that grieve thee?

O wither'd truth!

Ulyss. Why, how now, lord?
Tro. By Jove,

I will be patient.

Cres. Guardian!-why, Greek!

Dio. Pho, pho! adieu! you palter.

Cres. In faith, I do not; come hither once again.

Ulyss. You shake my lord, at something; will you go?

You will break out.

Tro. She strokes his cheek!

Ulyss. Come, come.

Tro. Nay, stay; by Jove, I will not speak a

word :

There is between my will and all offences,
A guard of patience:-stay a little while.

Ther. How the devil luxury, with his fat rump, and potatoc finger, tickles these together! Fry, lechery, fry!

Dio. But will you then?

Cres. In faith, I will, la; never trust me else.
Dio. Give me some token for the surety of it.
Cres. I'll fetch you one.
Ulyss. You have sworn patience.
Tro. Fear me not, my lord:

I will not be myself, nor have cognition
Of what I feel; I am all patience.

Re-enter Cressida.

[exit.

Tro. I will be patient; outwardly I will.

But it straight starts you.

Dio. I do not like this fooling.

Ther. Nor I, by Pluto: but that, that likes:

not you, pleases me best.

Dio. What, shall I come? the hour?

Cres. Ay, come:-O Jove!—

Do come:-I shall be plagu'd.
Dio. Farewell till then.

Cres. Good night. I pr'ythee, come.

[exit Diomed. Troilus, farewell! one eye yet looks on thee; But with my heart the other eye doth see.Ah! poor our sex! this fault in us I find, The error of our eye directs our mind: What error leads, must err; O then conclude, Minds, sway'd by eyes, are full of turpitude.

[exit.

Ther. A proof of strength she could not pub

lish more,

Unless she said, my mind is now turn'd whore. Ulyss. All's done, my lord.

Tro. It is.

Ulyss. Why stay we then?

Tro. To make a recordation to my soul