THE SPECTATOR. N° 170. VOL. III. Friday, September 14. 1711. In amore hac omnia infunt vitia: injuria, Ter. Eun.' fe PON looking over the Letters of my male Correfpondents, I find feveral from Women complaining of jealous Husbands, and at the fame Time protefting their own Innocence; and defiring my Advice on this Occafion. I fhall therefore take this Subject into my Confideration; and the more willingly, because I find that the Marquifs of Hallifax, who in his Advice to a Daughter, has inftructed a Wife how to behave her felf towards a falfe, an intemperate, a cholerick, a fullen, a covetous or a filly Husband, has not spoken one Word of a jealous Husband. JEALOUSY is that Pain which a Man feels from the Apprehenfion that he is not equally beloved by the Perfon whom he entirely loves. Now, because our inward Paffions and Inclinations can never make themselves A 4 visible, vifible, it is impoffible for a jealous Man to be throughly cured of his Sufpicions. His Thoughts hang at beft in a State of Doubtfulness and Uncertainty, and are never capable of receiving any Satisfaction on the advantagious Side; fo that his Enquiries are moft fuccefsful when they difcover nothing: His Pleasure arifes from his Difappointments, and his Life is fpent in Purfuit of a Secret that deftroys his Happiness if he chance to find it.' AN ardent Love is always a ftrong Ingredient in this Paffion; for the fame Affection which ftirs up the jealous Man's Defires, and gives the Party beloved fo beautiful a Figure in his Imagination, makes him believe fhe kindles the fame Paffion in others, and appears as amiable to all Beholders. And as Jealoufy thus arifes from an extraordinary Love, it is of fo delicate a Nature, that it fcorns to ake up with any thing lefs than an equal Return of Love.. Not the warmest Expreffiohs of Affection, the fofteft and most tender Hypocrify, are able to give any Satiffaction, where we are not perfwaded that the Affection is real and the Satisfaction mutual. For the jealous Mah wishes himself a kind of Deity to the Perfon he loves: He would be the only Pleafure of her Senfes, the Employment of her Thoughts; and is angry at every thing The admires, or takes Delight in, befides himself. PHADRIA'S Requeft to his Miftrefs, upon his leaving her for three Days, is inimitably beautiful and. natural Cum milite ifto prafens, abfens ut fies Ter, Eun THE jealous Man's Difeafe is of fo malignant a Natare, that it converts all he takes into its own Nourishment. A cool Behaviour fets him on the Rack, and is interpreted as an Inftance of Averfion or Indifference; a fond one raises his Sufpicions, and looks too much like Diffimulation and Artifice. If the Perfon he loves be cheerful, her Thoughts must be employed on another; and and if fad, fhe is certainly thinking on himfelf. In fhort, there is no Word or Gefture fo infignificant, but it gives him new Hints, feeds his Sufpicions, and furnishes him with fresh Matters of Difcovery: So that if we confider the Effects of this Paffion, one would rather think it proceeded from an inveterate Hatred than an exceffive Love; for certainly none can meet with more Difquietude and Uneafinefs than a fufpected Wife, if we except the jealous Husband. BUT the great Unhappiness of this Paffion is, that it naturally tends to alienate the Affection which it is fo follicitous to engrofs; and that for thefe two Reasons, because it lays too great a Conftraint on the Words and Actions of the fufpected Perfon, and at the fame time fhews you have no honourable Opinion of her; both of which are ftrong Motives to Averfion, NOR is this the worst Effect of Jealoufy; for it of ten draws after it à more fatal Train of Conféquences, and makes the Perfon you fufpect, guilty of the very Crimes you are so much afraid of. It is very natural for fuch who are treated ill and upbraided falfely, to find our an intimate Friend that will hear their Complaints, con dole their Sufferings, and endeavour to footh and affwage their fecret Refentments. Befides, Jealoufy puts a Woman often in Mind of an ill Thing that he would not otherwife perhaps have thought of, and fills her Imagination with fuch an unlucky Idea, as in time grows fami liar, excites Defire, and lofes all the Shame and Horror which might at firft attend it. Nor is it a Wonder, if the who fuffers wrongfully in a Man's Opinion of her, andr has therefore nothing to forfeit in his Efteem, refolves to give him Reafon for his Sufpicions, and to enjoy the Pleafure of the Crime, fince the muft undergo the Igno miny. Such probably were the Confiderations that direct ed the Wife Man in his Advice to Husbands; Be not jears lous over the Wife of thy Bofom, and teach her not an evill Leffon against thy felf. Ecclur. AND here among the other Torments which this Paffion produces, we may ufually obferve that none are greater Mourners than jealous Men, when the Perfon who provoked their Jealoufy is taken from them. Then it is that their Love breaks out furioufly, and throws A: 5 off off all the Mixtures of Sufpicion which choaked and fmothered it before. The beautiful Parts of the Character rife uppermoft in the Jealous Husband's Memory, and upbraid him with the ill Ufage of fo divine a Creature as was once in his Poffeffion; whilft all the little Imperfections that were before fo uneafy to him, wear off from his Remembrance, and fhew themselves no more. WE may fee by what has been faid, that Jealousy takes the deepest Root in Men of amorous Difpofitions; and of thefe we may find three Kinds who are moft overrun with it. THE First are those who are confcious to themselves of any Infirmity, whether it be Weaknefs, Old Age, Deformity, Ignorance, or the like. Thefe Men are fo well acquainted with the unamiable Part of themselves, that they have not the Confidence to think they are really beloved; and are fo diftrustful of their own Merits, that all Fondnefs towards them puts them out of Countenance, and looks like a Jeft upon their Perfons. They grow fufpicious on their firft looking in a Glafs, and are ftung with Jealoufy at the fight of a Wrinkle.. A handfome Fellow immediately alarms them, and every thing that looks young or gay turns their Thoughts upon their Wives. A Second Sort of Men, who are most liable to this Paffion, are those of cunning, wary, and diftrustful Tempers. It is a Fault very juftly found in Hiftories compofed by Politicians, that they leave nothing to Chance or Humour, but are ftill for deriving every Action from fome Plot and Contrivance, for drawing up a perpetual Scheme of Caufes and Events, and preferving a conftant Correfpondence between the Camp and the Courcil-Table. And thus it happens in the Affairs of Love with Men of 100 refined a Thought. They put a Conftruction on a Look, and find out a Defign in a Smile; they give new Senfes and Significations to Words and Actions; and are ever tormenting themfelves with Fancies of their own raifing: They generally act in a Difguife themselves, and therefore mistake all outward Shows and Appearances for Hypocrify in others; fo that I believe no Men fee less of the Truth and Reality of Things, than thefe great Re |