"had been abfent, when he was only eclipsed by

a flafk of Florence, which ftood on the table in "a parallel line before his face.

"We therefore new furnished the room in all

refpects proportionably to us; and had the door "made lower, fo as to admit no man of above "five foot high without brushing his foretop, "which whoever does is utterly unqualified to fit among us.

Some of the Statutes of the Club are as follow.

"I. If it be proved upon any member, though "never fo duly qualified, that he strives as much "as poffible to get above his fize, by ftretching,

cocking, or the like; or that he hath stood on tiptoe in a crowd, with defign to be taken for as " tall a man as the reft; or hath privily conveyed

any large book, cricket, or other device under "him to exalt him on his feat: every fuch offender "fhall be fentenced to walk in pumps for a whole "month.

"II. If any member shall take advantage from "the fulness or length of his wig, or any part of "his drefs, or the immoderate extent of his hat, "or otherwise, to feem larger or higher than he is, "it is ordered, he fhall wear red heels to his shoes, " and a red feather in his hat; which may appa

rently mark and set bounds to the extremities of "his fmall dimenfion, that all people may readily "find him out between his hat and his fhoes.

« III. If any member shall purchase a horse "for his own riding, above fourteen hands and "a half in height; that horfe fhall forthwith be "fold, a Scotch galloway bought in its ftead for him, and the overplus of the money fhall treat

"the Club.

" IV. If any member, in direct contradiction "to the fundamental laws of the Society, fhall "wear the heels of his shoes exceeding one inch " and half; it shall be interpreted as an open re"nunciation of littleness, and the criminal fhall inftantly be expelled. Note, The form to be "ufed in expelling a member shall be in these "words; "Go from among us, and be tall if you can!

"It is the unanimous opinion of our whole fo"ciety, that fince the race of mankind is granted "to have decreased in ftature, from the beginning "to this present, it is the intent of Nature itself, "that men should be little; and we believe, that "all human kind fhall at laft grow down to per"fection, that is to fay, be reduced to our own " measure.

N°. 92.

June 26, 1713.

Homunculi quanti funt, cum recogito!

PLAUT.

TO NESTOR IRONSIDE, Efq;

You

OU are now acquainted with the nature and design of our inftitution; the Cha"racter of the members, and the topicks of our Conversation, are what remain for the subject "of this Epiftle.

"The most eminent perfons of our affembly "are a little Poet, a little Lover, a little Politician, "and a little Heroe. The firft of these, Dick "Diftick by name, we have elected Prefident : "not only as he is the fhorteft of us all, but be"cause he has entertained so just a sense of his ftature, as to go generally in black, that he may "appear yet lefs. Nay, to that perfection is he arrived, that he ftoops as he walks. The figure "of the man is odd enough; he is a lively little "creature, with long arms and legs: a Spi"der is no ill emblem of him: he has been taken "at a diftance for a fmall Windmill. But indeed "what principally moved us in his favour was his "talent in Poetry, for he hath promised to under"take a long work in short verfe to celebrate the

"heroes of our fize. He has entertained fo great "a respect for Statius, on the score of that line,

Major in exiguo regnabat corpore virtus,

"that he once defigned to translate the whole "Thebaid, for the fake of little Tydeus.

"Tom Tiptoe, a dapper black fellow, is the "moft gallant lover of the age. He is particularly nice in his habiliments; and to the end justice may be done him that way, conftantly employs the fame artist who makes attire for the neighb'ring Princes and Ladies of quality at Mr. "Powel's. The vivacity of his temper inclines "him fometimes to boaft of the favours of the "Fair. He was t'other night excufing his abfence "from the club on account of an affignation with a Lady (and, as he had the vanity to tell us, a " tall one too) who had confented to the full ac

complishment of his defires that evening: But "one of the company, who was his confident, "affured us fhe was a woman of humour, and "made the agreement on this condition, that his "toe fhould be tied to hers.

"Our Politician is a perfon of real gravity, and "profeffed wifdom: Gravity in a man of this fize,

compared with that of one of ordinary bulk, "appears like the gravity of a Cat compared with "that of a Lion. This gentleman is accuftom"ed to talk to himself, and was once over-heard " to compare his own person to a little cabinet,

"wherein are locked up all the secrets of state, "and refined schemes of Prince. His face is pale " and meagre, which proceeds from much watching and ftudying for the welfare of Europe, which " is also thought to have stinted his growth: for " he hath destroyed his own conftitution with taking care of that of the nation. He is what "Monf. Balzac calls, a great Diftiller of the max"ims of Tacitus: when he speaks, it is flowly, "and word by word, as one that is loth to enrich

you too faft with his obfervations; like a lim"beck that gives you, drop by drop, an extract "of the little that is in it.

"The last I shall mention is Tim. Tuck, the "Hero. He is particularly remarkable for the

length of his Sword, which interfects his per"fon in a crofs line, and makes him appear not “unlike a Fly that the boys have run a pin thro', "and fet a walking. He once challenged a tall "fellow for giving him a blow on the pate with "his elbow, as he paffed along the street. But "what he especially values himself upon is, that "in all the campaigns he has made, he never once "duck'd at the whizz of a cannon ball. Tim. was full as large at fourteen years old as he is This we are tender of mentioning, your

"little Heroes being generally cholerick.

"These are the gentlemen that most enliven "our conversation. The difcourfe generally turns upon such accidents, whether fortunate or un