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CHA P. XIII.

A Project for the Advancement of the

Tin

Bathos.

HUS have I (my dear Countrymen) with incredible pains and diligence, discovered the hidden fources of the Bathos, or, as I may fay, broke open the Abyffes of this Great Deep. And having now established good and wholesome Laws, what remains but that all true moderns with their utmost might do proceed to put the fame in execution? In order whereto, I think I fhall in the second place highly deferve of my Country, by propofing fuch a Scheme, as may facilitate this great end.

As our Number is confeffedly far fuperior to that of the enemy, there feems nothing wanting but Unanimity among ourfelves. It is therefore humbly offered, that all and every individual of the Bathos do enter into a firm affociation, and incorporate into One regular Body, whereof every member, even the meaneft, will fome way contribute to the fupport of the whole; in like manner, as the weakeft reeds, when joined in one bundle, become infrangible. To which end our Art ought to be put upon the fame foot with other Arts of this age. The vast improvement of mo

dern manufactures arifeth from their being divided into several branches, and parcelled out to feveral trades: For inftance, in Clock-making one artist makes the balance, another the fpring, another the crown-wheels, a fourth the cafe, and the principal workman puts all together: To this oeconomy we owe the perfection of our modern watches, and doubtlefs we alfo might that of our modern Poetry and Rhetoric, were the several parts branched out in the like manner.

Nothing is more evident than that divers perfons, no other way remarkable, have each a strong difpofition to the formation of fome particular Trope or Figure. Ariftotle faith, that the Hyperbole is an ornament fit for young Men of Quality; accordingly we find in thofe Gentlemen a wonderful propenfity toward it, which is marvellously improved by Travelling: Soldiers alfo and Seamen are very happy in the fame Figure. The Periphrafis or Circumlocution is the peculiar talent of Country Farmers; the Proverb and Apologue of cid men at their clubs; the Ellipfis or Speech by half words, of Minifters and Politicians, the Apofipofis of Courtiers, the Litetes or Diminution of Ladies, Whisperers and Backbiters, and the Anadiplofis of common Cryers and Hawkers, who, by redoubling the fame words, perfuade people to buy their oyfters, green haftings, or new ballads. Epithets may be found in great plenty at Billingsgate, Sarcafm and Irony learned upon the Water,

and the Epiphonema or Exclamation frequently from the Beargarden, and as frequently from the Hear him of the House of Commons.

Now each man applying his whole time and genius upon his particular Figure, would doubtless attain to perfection; and when each became incorporated and fworn into the Society (as hath been proposed) a Poet or Orator would have no more to do but to fend to the particular Traders in each Kind, to the Metaphorift for his Allegories, to the Simile-maker for his Comparisons, to the Ironift for his Sarcasms, to the Apothegmatist for his Sentences, etc, whereby a Dedication or Speech would be compofed in a moment, the superior artist having nothing to do but to put together all the Materials.

I therefore propofe that there be contrived with all convenient dispatch, at the publick expence, a Rhetorical Cheft of Drawers, confifting of three Stories, the higheft for the Deliberative, the middle for the Demonftrative, and the lowest for the Judicial. These shall be divided into Loci, or Places, being repofitories for Matter and Argument in the feveral kinds of oration or writing; and every Drawer fhall again be fub-divided into Cells, refembling thofe of Cabinets for Rarities. The apartment for Peace or War, and that of the Liberty of the Prefs, may in a very few days be filled with several arguments perfectly new; and the Vituperative Partition will as easily be reple

nished with a moft choice collection, entirely of the growth and manufacture of the prefent age. Every compofer will foon be taught the ufe of this Cabinet, and how to manage all the Registers of it, which will be drawn out much in the manner of those in an Organ.

The Keys of it must be kept in honest hands, by fome Reverend Prelate, or Valiant Officer, of unqueftioned Loyalty and Affection to every prefent Establishment in Church and State; which will fufficiently guard against any mifchief which might otherwife be apprehended from it.

And being lodged in fuch hands, it may be at diferetion let out by the Day, to several great Orators in both Houfes; from whence it is to be hoped much Profit and Gain will alfo accrue to our Society.

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How to make Dedications, Panegyrics, or Satires, and of the Colours of Honourable and Difhonourable.

OW of what neceffity the foregoing Pro

NOW

ject may prove, will appear from this fingle confideration, that nothing is of equal confequence to the fuccefs of our Works, as Speed and

Difpatch. Great pity it is, that folid brains are not like other folid bodies, conftantly endowed with a velocity in finking, proportioned to their heaviness: For it is with the Flowers of the Bathos as with thofe of Nature, which if the careful gardener brings not haftily to market in the Morning, muft unprofitably perish and wither before Night. And of all our Productions none is fo short-lived as the Dedication and Panegyric, which are often but the Praife of a Day, and become by the next, utterly useless, improper, indecent, and falfe. This is the more to be lamented, inafmuch as these two are the forts whereon in a manner depends that Profit, which must still be remembered to be the main end of our Writers and Speakers.

We shall therefore employ this chapter in fhewing the quickest method of compofing them; after which we will teach a fhort Way to Epic Poetry. And these being confeffedly the works of most Importance and Difficulty, it is prefumed we may leave the reft to each author's own learning or practice.

First of Panegyric: Every man is honourable, who is fo by Law, Cuftom, or Title. The Publick are better judges of what is honourable than private Men. The Virtues of great Men, like thofe of Plants, are inherent in them whether they are exerted or not; and the more ftrongly inherent, the less they are exerted; as a Man is the

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