" My dear, I have upon this subject We have but one Drill?" "Yes, fool (faid he) why should he "not have the perfection of a Drill, or of any "other animal?" Mrs. Scriblerus, who lay all this while fretting at her husband's discourse, at last broke out to this purpose. " had many disputes with you before I was a month gone: "child, and cannot afford to throw him away upon experiments. I'll have my boy bred my boy bred up like other gentlemen, at home, and always under my own eye." All the Goffips with one voice, cried, Ay, ay; but Cornelius broke out in this man“What, bred at home! Have I taken all "this pains for a creature that is to lead the inglo"rious life of a Cabbage, to fuck the nutritious juices from the spot where he was first planted? No; to perambulate this terraqueous Globe is too small a Range; were it permitted, he should at least make the Tour of the whole Syftem of “the Sun. Let other Mortals pore upon Maps, ner. and swallow the legends of lying travellers; the son of Cornelius fhall make his own Legs his Compaffes; with those he shall measure Continents, Inlands, Capes, Bays, Streights, and "Ifthmus's: He fhall himself take the altitude of "the highest mountains, from the peak of Derby "to the peak of Tenariff; when he has vifited the "top of Taurus, Imaus, Caucafus, and the famous Ararat, where Noah's Ark first moor'd, he may " take a flight view of the fnowy Riphæans; nor "would I have him neglect Athos and Olympus, "renowned for poetical fictions. Those that vo"mit fire will deferve a more particular atten"tion: I will therefore have him obferve with great care Vefuvius, Ætna, the burning moun"tain of Java, but chiefly Hecla the greatest rarity in the Northern Regions. Then he may likewife contemplate the wonders of the Mephi"tick cave. When he has div'd into the bowels "of the earth, and furvey'd the works of Nature under ground, and inftructed himself fully in the "nature of Vulcanos, Earthquakes, Thunders, Tempefts, and Hurricanes, I hope he will blefs "the world with a more exact furvey of the de ferts of Arabia and Tartary, than as yet we are "able to obtain: Then will I have him cross the "feven Gulphs, measure the currents in the fif"teen famous Streights, and fearch for those foun"tains of fresh water that are at the bottom of the "Ocean."---Atthefe laft words Mrs. Scriblerus fell into a trembling: the defcription of this terrible Scene made too violent an impreffion upon a woman in her condition, and threw her into a strong hysteric Fit; which might have proved dangerous, if Cornelius had not been pushed out of the room by the united force of the women. CHA P. III. Shewing what befel the Doctor's Son and his Shield, on the Day of the Christ'ning. TH HE day of the Chrift'ning being come, and the house filled with Goffips, the Levity of whofe Conversation suited but ill with the Gravity of Dr. Cornelius, he caft about how to pass this day more agreeably to his Character; that is to say, not without fome Profitable Conference, nor wholly without obfervance of fome Ancient Cuftom. He remembered to have read in Theocritus, that the Cradle of Hercules was a Shield: and being poffefs'd of an antique Buckler which he held as a moft ineftimable Relick, he determined to have the infant laid therein, and in that manner brought into the Study, to be fhown to certain learned men of his acquaintance. The regard he had for this Shield, had caused him formerly to compile a Differtation concerning it, proving from the feveral properties, and particularly the colour of the Ruft, the exact chronology thereof. With this Treatise, and a moderate fupper, he proposed to entertain his Guests; tho' he had alfo See the Differtation on Dr. Woodward's Shield. another defign, to have their affistance in the calculation of his Son's Nativity." He therefore took the Buckler out of a Cafe (in which he always kept it, left it might contract any modern ruft) and entrusted it to his Housemaid, with orders, that when the company was come the fhould lay the Child carefully in it, cover'd with a mantle of blue Sattin. The Guests were no fooner feated, but they entered into a warm Debate about the Triclinium and the manner of Decubitus of the Ancients, which Cornelius broke off in this manner: "This day, my Friends, I purpose to exhibit my fon before you; a Child not wholly unworthy of Infpection, as he is defcended from a "Race of Virtuofi. Let the Phyfiognomists exa"mine his features; let the Chirographifts behold his Palm; but above all let us confult for the "calculation of his Nativity. To this end, as the child is not vulgar, I will not prefent him unto you "in a vulgar manner. He fhall be cradled in my "Ancient Shield, fo famous through the Univer"fities of Europe. You all know how I purchased "that invaluable piece of Antiquity at the great (though indeed inadequate) expence of all "the Plate of our family, how happily I carried "it off, and how triumphantly I tranfported it hither, to the inexpreffible grief of all Germany. Happy in every circumftance, but that it broke "the heart of the great Melchior Infipidus!" Here he stopp'd his Speech, upon fight of the Maid, who enter'd the room with the Child: He took it in his arms and proceeded: "Behold then my Child, but first behold the "Shield: Behold this Ruft,---or rather let me call "it this precious Ærugo,---behold this beautiful Varnish of Time,---this venerable Verdure of fo "many Ages-- In fpeaking these words, he flowly lifted up the Mantle, which covered it, inch by inch; but at every inch he uncovered, his cheeks grew paler, his hand trembled, his nerves failed, till on fight of the whole, the Tremor became univerfal: The Shield and the Infant both dropt to the ground, and he had only ftrength enough to cry out, "O "God! my Shield, my Shield!" The Truth was, the Maid (extremely concern'd for the reputation of her own cleanliness, and her young mafter's honour) had fcoured it as clean as her Andirons". Cornelius funk back on a chair, the Guests stood aftonished, the infant fquaul'd, the maid ran in, fnatch'd it up again in her arms, flew into her mistress's room, and told what had happen'd. Down ftairs in an inftant hurried all the Goffips, where they found the Doctor in a Trance: Hungary water, Hartfhorn, and the confufed noife of thrill voices, at length awakened him: when open • Poor Vadius, long with learned fpleen devour'd, |