LAW IS A BOTTOMLESS PIT;

OR, THE

HISTORY

OF

JOHN BULL.

PUBLISHED FROM

A MANUSCRIPT FOUND IN THE CABINET OF THE FAMOUS SIR H. POLESWORTH, IN THE YEAR 1712.

HISTORY OF JOHN BULL.

66

AMONG the pieces usually published in Swift's works, of which he is not the author, there is none which can bear comparison with the History of John Bull." It is not only a satire original in its outline, but the exquisite simplicity, brevity, and solemnity of the narrative, is altogether inimitable. If our author's Tale of a Tub be considered as the prototype of John Bull, it may be allowed to contain a greater display of learning, but is certainly deficient in the unaffected and ludicrous simplicity of the latter satire.

Dr Arbuthnot, author of this excellent jeu d'esprit, is well known as the intimate and confidential friend of Swift, Pope, and Gay. With the disadvantage of northern birth and education, he wrote a pure English style, although it may be remarked that he sometimes calls in the aid of national idiom, where he conceives it will add force to his picture. Lewis Baboon is for example termed a "false loon," and the whole character, conduct, and language, of Sister Peg, is traced with a Scottish pencil.

The History of John Bull came originally forth in four parts, with an Appendix. It was afterwards corrected, revised, and arranged, with some few alterations. The following are the original titles:

"Law is a Bottomless Pit, exemplified in the case of the Lord Strutt, John Bull, Nicholas Frog, and Lewis Baboon; who spent all they had in a law-suit.-Printed from a manuscript found in the cabinet of the famous Sir Humphrey Polesworth.”

"John Bull in his Senses: being the Second Part of Law is a Bottomless Pit.-Printed from a manuscript found in the cabinet of the famous Sir Humphrey Polesworth."

"John Bull in his Senses: being the Third Part of Law is a Bottomless Pit.-Printed from a manuscript found in the cabinet of the famous Sir Humphrey Polesworth; and published (as well as the two former parts) by the author of the New Atalantis."

"An Appendix to John Bull still in his Senses; or Law is a Bottomless Pit.-Printed from a manuscript found in the cabinet of the famous Sir Humphrey Polesworth; and published (as well as the three former parts) by the author of the New Atalantis."

"Lewis Baboon turned Honest, and John Bull, Politician: being the Fourth Part of Law is a Bottomless Pit.—Printed from a manuscript found in the cabinet of the famous Sir Humphrey Polesworth: and published (as well as the three former parts and Appendix) by the author of the New Atalantis." It was repeatedly reprinted, and at length, with some alterations and notes, inserted in the Miscellany compiled by Pope, Swift, Gay, and Arbuthnot.

The effect of this satire was wonderful. It was adapted in point of style to the meanest capacity; yet the ingenuity of the allusions, and the comic humour of the expressions, delighted the best informed. The structure of the piece was also admirably calculated to attain the desired end. It was scarce possible so effectually to dim the lustre of Marlborough's splendid achievements as by parodying them under the history of a suit conducted by a wily attorney, who made every advantage gained over the defendant, a reason for protracting law procedure, and enhancing the expense of his client. By this representation of the war, the public mind was swayed from consideration of its brilliant success, and instructed to regard it as a mere matter of profit and loss, in which the General and the Dutch were the gainers, while all expenses fell upon the British.

The same parable was continued after the accession of the House of Hanover. But this supplement is so far inferior to the original as to excite some question whether it be actually the composition of Arbuthnot. All later imitations have been equally unsuccessful, excepting that entitled the "History of Sister Peg," by the late eminent and venerable Dr Adam Fergusson. This last satire equals in every respect the history of which it is a professed imitation. It was written at the instigation of the Society called "The Poker Club," because the object of their meeting was to rouse the spirit of Scotland, and instigate them to insist, that the militia scheme should be extended to them as a part of their national rights. Some very diverting circumstances attending the publication of "Sister Peg," may be found in Mackenzie's Life of John Home, prefixed to the posthumous edition of his works. Dr Fergusson never expressly acknowledged the work during his life; but a copy, with his manuscript corrections, for a new edition, is, by the gift of his family, in possession of the Editor.

THE

HISTORY

OF

JOHN BULL.

CHAP. I.

The Occasion of the Lawsuit.

I NEED not tell you of the great quarrels that have happened in our neighbourhood since the death of the late Lord Strutt;* how the parson, and a cunning attorney, got him to settle his estate upon his cousin Philip Baboon, to the great disappointment of his cousin Esquire South. Some stick not to say, that the parson and the attorney forged a will, for which they were well paid by the family of the Baboons: let that be as it will, it is matter of fact, that the honour and estate have continued ever since in the person of Philip Baboon.

You know, that the Lord Strutts have for many years been possessed of a very great landed estate, well-con

* Charles II. of Spain died without issue.

+ Cardinal Portocarero and the Marshal of Harcourt, employed, as is supposed, by the House of Bourbon, prevailed upon him to make a will, by which he settled the succession of the Spanish monarchy upon Philip of Bourbon, Duke of Anjou, though his right had by solemn renunciation been barred in favour of the Archduke Charles of Austria.