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You must think Mrs Bull had been pretty well tuned up by Frog, who chimed in with her learned harangue. No farther delay now, but to council learned in the law they go, who unanimously assured them both of the justice and infallible success of their lawsuit.

I told you before, that old Lewis Baboon was a sort of a jack of all trades, which made the rest of the tradesmen jealous, as well as Bull and Frog; they hearing of the quarrel, were glad of an opportunity of joining against old Lewis Baboon, provided that Bull and Frog would bear the charges of the suit; even lying Ned, the chimney-sweeper of Savoy,* and Tom, the Portugal dustman,† put in their claims; and the cause was put into the hands of Humphry Hocus the attorney.‡

A declaration was drawn up to shew, "that Bull and Frog had undoubted right by prescription to be drapers to the Lord Strutts; that there were several old contracts to that purpose; that Lewis Baboon had taken up the trade of clothier and draper, without serving his time or purchasing his freedom; that he sold goods that were not marketable, without the stamp; that he himself was more fit for a bully than a tradesman, and went about through all the country fairs, challenging people to fight prizes, wrestling, and cudgel-play ;"§ and abundance more to this purpose.

* The Duke of Savoy.

+ The King of Portugal.

John Churchill, Duke of Marlborough, was appointed general in chief of the confederate army.

§ The allies published manifestoes, charging Louis XIV. with breach of the Treaty of Ryswick, with denying to the States the benefit of a tariff, in terms of that engagement, and with various arbitrary encroachments upon the liberties of Europe.

CHAP. V.

The true Character of John Bull, Nic. Frog, and Hocus.

FOR the better understanding the following history, the reader ought to know, that Bull, in the main, was an honest plain-dealing fellow, choleric, bold, and of a very unconstant temper; he dreaded not old Lewis, either at back-sword, single falchion, or cudgel-play; but then he was very apt to quarrel with his best friends, especially if they pretended to govern him : if you flattered him, you might lead him like a child. John's temper depended very much upon the air; his spirits rose and fell with the weather-glass. John was quick, and understood his business very well; but no man alive was more careless in looking into his accounts, or more cheated by partners, apprentices, and servants. This was occasioned by his being a boon companion, loving his bottle and his diversion; for, to say truth, no man kept a better house than John, nor spent his money more generously. By plain and fair dealing, John had acquired some plums, and might have kept them, had it not been for his unhappy lawsuit.

Nic. Frog was a cunning, sly whoreson, quite the reverse of John in many particulars; covetous, frugal; minded domestic affairs; would pinch his belly to save his pocket; never lost a farthing by careless servants, or bad debtors. He did not care much for any sort of diversions, except tricks of High German artists, and leger-de-main: no man exceeded Nic. in these; yet it

must be owned, that Nic. was a fair dealer, and in that way acquired immense riches.

Hocus was an old cunning attorney; and though this was the first considerable suit that ever he was engaged in, he shewed himself superior in his address to most of his profession; he kept always good clerks,* he loved money, was smooth-tongued, gave good words, and seldom lost his temper: he was not worse than an infidel, for he provided plentifully for his family; but he loved himself better than them all; the neighbours reported, that he was henpecked: which was impossible by such a mild-spirited woman as his wife was.†

CHAP. VI.

Of the various Success of the Lawsuit.

LAW is a bottomless pit; it is a cormorant ; a harpy, that devours everything. John Bull was flattered by the lawyers, that his suit would not last above a year or two at most; that before that time he would be in quiet possession of his business: yet ten long years did Hocus steer his cause through all the meanders of the law, and all the courts. No skill, no address was wanting; and, to say truth, John did not starve his cause: there wanted not yellow-boys to fee counsel, hire witnesses,

* Good officers.

+ The celebrated Sarah, Duchess of Marlborough, whose termagant usage of her husband was the constant theme of Tory ridicule.

and bribe juries: Lord Strutt was generally cast, never had one verdict in his favour; and John was promised that the next, and the next, would be the final determination :* but, alas! that final determination and happy conclusion was like an enchanted island, the nearer John came to it, the farther it went from him: new trials upon new points still arose; new doubts, new matters to be cleared; in short, lawyers seldom part with so good a cause, till they have got the oyster, and the clients the shell. John's ready money, book-debts, bonds, mortgages, all went into the lawyers' pockets: then John began to borrow money upon Bank-stock and East-India bonds:† now and then a farm went to pot: at last it was thought a good expedient to set up Esquire South's title, to prove the will forged, and dispossess Philip Lord Strutt at once.‡ Here again was a new field for the lawyers, and the cause grew more intricate than ever. John grew madder and madder; wherever he met any of Lord Strutt's servants, he tore off their clothes: now and then you would see them come home naked, without shoes, stockings, and linen. As for old Lewis Baboon, he was reduced to his last shift, though he had as many as any other: his children were reduced from rich silks

* The war was carried on against France and Spain with great success, and a peace might have been concluded upon the principles of the alliance; but a partition of the Spanish dominions in favour of the House of Austria, and an engagement that the same person should never be King of France and Spain, were not now thought sufficient. + Recourse was had to the funding system, in order to raise supplies for carrying on the war.

‡It was insisted, that the will in favour of Philip was contrary to treaty; and there was a parliamentary declaration for continuing the war, till he should be dethroned.

to doily stuffs, his servants in rags, and bare-footed: instead of good victuals, they now lived upon neck-beef, and bullock's liver in short, nobody got much by the matter, but the men of law.

CHAP. VII.

How John Bull was so mightily pleased with his Success, that he was going to leave off his Trade, and turn Lawyer.

It is wisely observed by a great philosopher, that habit is a second nature; this was verified in the case of John Bull, who, from an honest and plain tradesman, had got such a haunt about the courts of justice, and such a jargon of law-words, that he concluded himself as able a lawyer as any that pleaded at the bar, or sat on the bench; he was overheard one day talking to himself after this manner :* "How capriciously does fate or chance dispose of mankind? How seldom is that business allotted to a man, for which he is fitted by nature? It is plain, I was intended for a man of law; how did my guardians mistake my genius, in placing me, like a mean slave, behind the counter? Bless me! what immense estates these fellows raise by the law? Besides,

The manners and sentiments of the nation became extravagant and chimerical, and began, from the successes of the Duke of Marlborough, to assume a military character, rather inconsistent with the commercial interests of England.

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