it.* He found fault with the length, the thickness, and the twist; nay the very colour did not please him. "Will nothing less than hanging serve ?" quoth Jack. "Won't my enemies take bail for my good behaviour? Will they accept of a fine, or be satisfied with the pillory and imprisonment, a good round whipping, or burning in the cheek?"

Hab. Nothing but your blood will appease their rage; make haste, else we shall be discovered. There's nothing like surprising the rogues; how they will be disappointed, when they hear that thou hast prevented their revenge, and hanged thine own self!

Jack. That's true; but what if I should do it in effigies? Is there never an old pope or pretender to hang up in my stead? we are not so unlike, but it may pass. Hab. That can never be put upon Sir Roger.

Jack. Are you sure he is in the next room? Have you provided a very sharp knife, in case of the worst ?

Hab. Dost take me for a common liar? be satisfied, no damage can happen to your person; your friends will take care of that.

Jack. Mayn't I quilt my rope? it galls my neck strangely besides, I don't like this running knot, it holds too tight; I may be stifled all of a sudden.

Hab. Thou hast so many ifs and ands; prithee dispatch; it might have been over before this time.

Jack. But now I think on't, I would fain settle some affairs, for fear of the worst: have a little patience.

* It may be supposed that it was very difficult to couch the bill against occasional conformity in such terms as would satisfy the Dissenters. That which finally passed was couched in terms more moderate than those which had been rejected on former occasions,

Hab. There's no having patience, thou art such a faintling, silly creature.

Jack. O thou most detestable, abominable passive obedience! did I ever imagine I should become thy votary in so pregnant an instance? How will my brother Martin laugh at this story, to see himself outdone in his own calling? He has taken the doctrine, and left me the practice.

No sooner had he uttered these words, but, like a man of true courage, he tied the fatal cord to the beam, fitted the noose, and mounted upon the bottom of a tub, the inside of which he had often graced in his prosperous days. This footstool Habakkuk kicked away, and left poor Jack swinging, like the pendulum of Paul's clock. The fatal noose performed its office, and with most strict ligature squeezed the blood into his face, till it assumed a purple dye. While the poor man heaved from the very bottom of his belly for breath, Habakkuk walked with great deliberation into both the upper and lower room to acquaint his friends, who received the news with great temper, and with jeers and scoffs, instead of pity. "Jack has hanged himself!" quoth they; "let us go and see how the poor rogue swings." Then they called Sir Roger." Sir Roger," quoth Habakkuk, " Jack has hanged himself; make haste and cut him down." Sir Roger turned first one ear, and then t'other, not understanding what he said.

Hab. I tell you, Jack has hanged himself up.
Sir Roger. Who's hanged?

Hab. Jack.

Sir Roger. I thought this had not been hangingday.

Hab. But the poor fellow has hanged himself.

Sir Roger. Then let him hang; I don't wonder at it, the fellow has been mad these twenty years. With this he slunk away.*

Then Jack's friends began to hunch and push one another. "Why don't you go, and cut the poor fellow down? Why don't you? And why don't you?" "Not I," quoth one; "Not I," quoth another; "Not I," quoth a third; "he may hang 'till doomsday before I relieve him."-Nay, it is credibly reported, that they' were so far from succouring their poor friend in this his dismal circumstance, that Ptschirnsooker and several of his companions went in and pulled him by the legs, and thumped him on the breast.-Then they began to rail at him for the very thing, which they had advised and justified before, viz. his getting into the old gentlewoman's family, and putting on her livery. The keeper, who performed the last office, coming up, found Jack swinging with no life in him; he took down the body gently, and laid it on a bulk, and brought out the rope

* The Dissenters appealed to the Earl of Oxford, and implored his assistance through the medium of Mr Shower, one of the most celebrated preachers. But, in his answer, drawn by Swift, he termed them " poor deluded creatures, that have for seventeen years been acting against all their principles;" and he concludes, "As to myself, the engineers of this bill thought they had obtained a great advantage against me: finding I had stopped it in the House of Commons, they thought to bring me to a fatal dilemma, whether it did or did not pass. This would have no influence with me: for I will act what I think to be right, let there be the worst enemies in the world of one side or other. I guess, by your letter, that you do not know that the bill yesterday passed both Houses, the Lords having agreed to the amendments made by the Commons; so that there is no room to do anything upon that head."

to the company. "This, gentlemen, is the rope that hanged Jack; what must be done with it ?" Upon which they ordered it to be laid among the curiosities of Gresham College, and it is called Jack's rope to this very day. However, Jack, after all, had some small tokens of life in him, but lies at this time past hope of a total recovery, with his head hanging on one shoulder, without speech or motion. The coroner's inquest supposing him to be dead, brought him in Non Compos.

CHAP. III.

The Conference between Don Diego and John Bull.

DURING the time of the foregoing transactions, Don Diego was entertaining John Bull.

D. Diego. I hope, sir, this day's proceeding will convince you of the sincerity of your old friend Diego and the treachery of Sir Roger.

J. Bull. What's the matter now?

D. Diego. You have been endeavouring, for several years, to have justice done upon that rogue Jack; but what through the remissness of constables, justices, and packed juries, he has always found the means to escape. J. Bull. What then?

D. Diego. Consider, then, who is your best friend; he that would have brought him to condign punishment,

* Since removed with the Royal Society into Crane Court, in Fleet Street.

or he that has saved him. By my persuasion Jack had hanged himself, if Sir Roger had not cut him down.

J. Bull. Who told you, that Sir Roger has done so? D. Diego. You seem to receive me coldly; methinks my services deserve a better return.

J. Bull. Since you value yourself upon hanging this poor scoundrel, I tell you, when I have any more hanging-work, I'll send for thee; I have some better employment for Sir Roger; in the meantime, I desire the poor fellow may be looked after. When he first came out of the north country into my family, under the pretended name of Timothy Trim, the fellow seemed to mind his loom and his spinning-wheel, till somebody turned his head; then he grew so pragmatical, that he took upon him the government of my whole family. I could never order anything within or without doors, but he must be always giving his counsel, forsooth; nevertheless, tell him I will forgive what is past; and if he would mind his business for the future, and not meddle out of his own sphere, he will find, that John Bull is not of a cruel disposition.

D. Diego. Yet all your skilful physicians say that nothing can recover your mother, but a piece of Jack's liver boiled in her soup.

J. Bull. Those are quacks; my mother abhors such cannibal's food; she is in perfect health at present; I would have given many a good pound to have had her so well sometime ago. There are, indeed, two or three old troublesome nurses,* that, because they believe I am tender-hearted, will never let me have a quiet night's rest with knocking me up: "Oh, sir, your mo

* New clamours about the danger of the Church.