Imagens da página
PDF
ePub

Darius Green and His Flying-Machine 2099

I'll fly a few times around the lot,

To see how 't seems, then soon's I've got
The hang o' the thing, ez likely's not,
I'll astonish the nation, an' all creation,
By flyin' over the celebration!

Over their heads I'll sail like an eagle;

I'll balance myself on my wings like a sea-gull;
I'll dance on the chimbleys; I'll stan' on the steeple;
I'll flop up to winders an' scare the people!
I'll light on the libbe'ty-pole, an' crow;

An I'll say to the gawpin' fools below,

'What world's this 'ere that I've come near?'

Fer I'll make 'em b'lieve I'm a chap f'm the moon;
An' I'll try a race 'ith their ol' balloon!"

He crept from his bed;

And, seeing the others were gone, he said,
"I'm a-gittin' over the cold 'n my head."
And away he sped,

To open the wonderful box in the shed.

His brothers had walked but a little way,
When Jotham to Nathan chanced to say,
"What on airth is he up to, hey?"

"Don'o',-the' 's suthin' er other to pay,
Er he wouldn't 'a' stayed to hum to-day.”
Says Burke, "His toothache's all 'n his eye!
He never'd miss a Fo'th-o'-July,

Ef he hedn't got some machine to try."
Then Sol, the little one, spoke: "By darn!
Le's hurry back, an' hide 'n the barn,

An' pay him fer tellin' us that yarn!"
"Agreed!" Through the orchard they creep back,
Along by the fences, behind the stack,
And one by one, through a hole in the wall,
In under the dusty barn they crawl,
Dressed in their Sunday garments all;
And a very astonishing sight was that,
When each in his cobwebbed coat and hat
Came up through the floor like an ancient rat.

And there they hid; and Reuben slid
The fastenings back, and the door undid.
"Keep dark!" said he,

"While I squint an' see what the' is to see."

As knights of old put on their mail,—
From head to foot an iron suit,
Iron jacket and iron boot,
Iron breeches, and on the head
No hat, but an iron pot instead,
And under the chin the bail,-

(I believe they called the thing a helm,)—
And, thus accoutred, they took the field,
Sallying forth to overwhelm

The dragons and pagans that plagued the realm;
So this modern knight prepared for flight,
Put on his wings and strapped them tight,-
Jointed and jaunty, strong and light,-
Buckled them fast to shoulder and hip,-
Ten feet they measured from tip to tip!
And a helm had he, but that he wore,
Not on his head, like those of yore,

But more like the helm of a ship.

"Hush!" Reuben said, "he's up in the shed!
He's opened the winder,-I see his head!
He stretches it out, an' pokes it about,
Lookin' to see 'f the coast is clear,

An' nobody near;—

Guess he don'o' who's hid in here!
He's riggin' a spring-board over the sill!
Stop laffin', Solomon! Burke, keep still!
He's a climbin' out now-Of all the things!
What's he got on? I van, it's wings!
An' that t'other thing? I vum, it's a tail!
An' there he sets like a hawk on a rail!
Steppin' careful, he travels the length

Of his spring-board, and teeters to try its strength.
Now he stretches his wings, like a monstrous bat;
Pecks over his shoulder, this way an' that,

Darius Green and His Flying-Machine

2101

Fer to see 'f the' 's any one passin' by;
But the' 's on'y a ca'f an' a goslin' nigh.
They turn up at him a wonderin' eye,
To see-The dragon! he's goin' to fly!
Away he goes! Jimminy! what a jump!
Flop-flop-an' plump to the ground with a thump!
Flutt'rin' an' flound'rin', all 'n a lump!"

As a demon is hurled by an angel's spear,
Heels over head, to his proper sphere,―
Heels over head, and head over heels,
Dizzily down the abyss he wheels,-
So fell Darius. Upon his crown,

In the midst of the barn-yard, he came down,
In a wonderful whirl of tangled strings,
Broken braces and broken springs,

Broken tail and broken wings,

Shooting-stars, and various things,—
Barn-yard litter of straw and chaff,
And much that wasn't so sweet by half.
Away with a bellow fled the calf,

And what was that? Did the gosling laugh?
'Tis a merry roar from the old barn-door,
And he hears the voice of Jotham crying;
"Say, D'rius! how de yeou like flyin'?"

Slowly, ruefully, where he lay,

Darius just turned and looked that way,

As he stanched his sorrowful nose with his cuff,

"Wal, I like flyin' well enough,"

He said; "but the' ain't sich a thunderin' sight
O' fun in 't when ye come to light."

I just have room for the MORAL here:
And this is the moral,-Stick to your sphere;
Or, if you insist, as you have the right,
On spreading your wings for a loftier flight,
The moral is,-Take care how you light.

John Townsend Trowbridge [1827

THE SOCIETY UPON THE STANISLAUS

I RESIDE at Table Mountain, and my name is Truthful James; I am not up to small deceit, or any sinful games;

And I'll tell in simple language what I know about the row That broke up our Society upon the Stanislow.

But first I would remark, that it is not a proper plan
For any scientific gent to whale his fellow-man,
And, if a member don't agree with his peculiar whim,
To lay for that same member for to "put a head" on him.

Now nothing could be finer or more beautiful to see
Than the first six months' proceedings of that same Society,
Till Brown of Calaveras brought a lot of fossil bones
That he found within a tunnel near the tenement of Jones.

Then Brown he read a paper, and he reconstructed there, From those same bones, an animal that was extremely rare; And Jones then asked the Chair for a suspension of the rules, Till he could prove that those same bones was one of his lost mules.

Then Brown he smiled a bitter smile, and said he was at fault,

It seemed he had been trespassing on Jones's family vault:
He was a most sarcastic man, this quiet Mr. Brown,
And on several occasions he had cleaned out the town.

Now I hold it is not decent for a scientific gent
To say another is an ass,-at least, to all intent;
Nor should the individual who happens to be meant
Reply by heaving rocks at him, to any great extent.

Then Abner Dean of Angel's raised a point of order—when A chunk of old red sandstone took him in the abdomen, And he smiled a kind of sickly smile, and curled up on the floor,

And the subsequent proceedings interested him no more.

Dow's Flat

2103

For, in less time than I write it, every member did engage
In a warfare with the remnants of a paleozoic age;
And the way they heaved those fossils in their anger was a
sin,

Till the skull of an old mammoth caved the head of Thompson in.

And this is all I have to say of these improper games,

For I live at Table Mountain, and my name is Truthful James;

And I've told in simple language what I know about the row That broke up our Society upon the Stanislow.

DOW'S FLAT

1856

Bret Harte [1839-1902]

Dow's FLAT.

That's its name;

And I reckon that you

Are a stranger? The same?

Well, I thought it was true,—

For thar isn't a man on the river as can't spot the place

at first view.

It was called after Dow,

Which the same was an ass;

And as to the how

Thet the thing kem to pass,

Jest tie up your hoss to that buckeye, and sit ye down here

in the grass.

You see this 'yer Dow

Hed the worst kind of luck;

He slipped up somehow

On each thing thet he struck.

Why, ef he'd a-straddled thet fence-rail, the derned thing

'ed get up and buck.

« AnteriorContinuar »