« AnteriorContinuar »
233 To tbe AUTHOR of the LONDON or promise of any supply, and, on MAGAZINE.
two or three occasions, a warmth of altercation intirely new to me.
What would I not have given to be T appears but just in the severe restored to my unhappily renounced fortunes incurred by perverseness, or The wretchedness of my condition ill-condu&, should be endured without becoming at length insupportable, I complaint, and beheld without com- resolved to throw myself at my mopaffion. But shall we then deviate ther's feet, and, if pollible, replace from every divine precept-or can the myself in her heart this resolution idea of mercy, when we feel ourselves I carried into immediate practice. I calpable, chear our imagination, found her much less implacable than while we act with such unremitting my imagination had painted her, and rigour towards one another?
happinels appeared once more to be I myself am a melancholy instance mine. My father too received and of the weakness as well as the insensie acknowledged his child—but alas, bility of human nature.
fir! whilst they supported me with Educated with a degree of tender one hand, they deltroyed me with Dess beyond what I am able to de- the other. My husband's conduct and fcribe, presumption instead of grati. his character were so utterly repugtude fixed its empire in my heart. A nant to their approbation, that I was ftranger to controul, when controul not permitted to mention him, and in only could be falutary, every denial the moment they assured me of their was confidered by me as an injury, everlalting protection, they fatally laid every gratification as a proper tribute the foundation of all my succeeding to my merit.
misery. odious as this acknowledged arro. For some time my husband rejoiced gance most render me, it was rather in my visiting them, but frequently the product of hierling adulation, than enquired if there was no hope for the native growth of my disposition.. him. I soothed him, from a regard for Beauty and fine accomplishments were his repore, and indeed the apprehen. my imputed poffeßions; nor was it fion of his displeasure, with false exallowed possible for me to be ungrace. pectations ; until quite tired out, he ful or unamiable.
began to accuse me as the cause of Under this in fatuation a young fel. their neglect. I must have given them low was introduced by accident to my disadvantageous impreslicns of his acquaintance whó law, and soon principles or disposition, otherwise, to availed himself of it. “Angels were hat: been perfectly reconciled to me, painted fair to look like me." Ina would have been to be reconciled to word, be toon persuaded me, that to him. The utmost eloquence of distress, be happy, was to become his wife ; to the unceasing tear of atti ction, were prove myself a girl of spirit, was to employed in vain to obtain his par. elope from my natural protectors; and don. My father and mother would to demand their forgiveness, the best not have an idea that misfortune could return they could expect for years of reach me whilst they continued to tender solicicude, and unabating affec. sinile, and, strange as it may seem, tion. I listened with pleased atten were offended at my confefsing an tion to all he suggested -admired anxiety, in which they had no thare. his invention-approved the frolic, It was a dreadfui error, and can never and never felt one repentant pang, or
be retrieved. the smallest confideration for all my My husband's respect, confidence, dear father and mother would expe- and affection, sensibly declined rience.
what were not my sufferings !...I then The little money I was mistress of began to find low ill. my soul was was however no sooner exausted, than adapted to impropriety, and that not. I began to awake from my prepoite. withiftanding vanity had betrayed me rous lethargy. My husband's fea- into fo gross a violation of every ami. tures apparently changed, no prospect able tye, that vanity was incapable of May, 1769.
May filencing the reproaches of conscience, ceeding days in bis ufual manner, nor or pangs of sensibility.
did I suspect it would prove an eternal At this period of miserable uncer- separation. tainty, J myself became a parent.-All The late hours he was accustomed the consequential expences were dis- to keep secured me from alarms, uncharged with a liberal hand. My fa- til the next morning arrived, and no ther was inconceivably delighted with husband returned when a note was his grand-daughter, and my mother conveyed to me by a mysterious means, infiited upon its being called by her in which I was informed he had left name. To all the natural sensations me for ever. of maternity was superadded in my My father and mother received me breast the flattering confidence, that a and my family into their house, promeans of reconciliation was now with. vided for us with unbounded genero. in my power. Couid I suppose the lity, and, except that now and then siniling innocent would have proved an anxiety would suggeft itself for the an additional weight to my misfor. fate of the man I once loved, I had tunes?
little to complain of until within these The christening day arrived, my fa- few months. ther and mother had the cruelty to in Would you believe it, fir ! uncer. fist, that my husband should not be tain as I am whether my husband is admitted into their presence. I would alive or dead, I am persecuted on all have remonstrated, but they were deaf sides to accept another. It is true, fe. to all my arguments; it was him alone ven years have elapsed without his they would consider as culpable: he being heard of, but does that in any had robbed them of their child, wound. degree amount to a presumption that ed their peace, and they never would he is no more? Thew him a moment's countenance. O my dear father and mother, have
My husband, itung to the quick by pity on me.-When I withdrew my. this unexpected proof of their detefta- self from your protection, did I know tion of him, now ihrew off all retraint. what it was to be a parent? My fault, What infults did I not sustain !--Could has it not been punished. My repenI expose him ? or to what purpose had tance, is it not fincere?-Allow me I been capable to connrm, nay jus. then, under my present situation, to tify the conduct that had rendered him watch over your declining days, and so desperate? I was at last the sacri- form the tender minds of my poor fice.- Unable to provide for the dear children to virtue. Let me, let me infant, or from a want of natural af- teach them, that though misfortune fection, it was given up to the care of is the common lot of humanity, the my father and mother, and I was de- misfortune that is unaccompanied by nied the figh: of it for ever.
self-reproach fits lightly on the heart; To describe the variety of wretched to be completely miserable, we must ness I have pasied through, would be be culpable :---and if the punishment to take up more room than you can of error has been so very severe, what allow a single correspondent, I will would not be the portion of your once therefore only mention, that in the darling daughter, if the was consenting course of five years, he contracted to enter on the confines of guilt? every vicious habit in nature. Two Is her happiness the object of your other children were fellow. sufferers confideration and withes? Can nie be with their unhappy mother, at the more happy than in ber present situasame time that they were the keenest tion ?- If her honour is dear to aggravation of all the endured. you, is it not inviolate whilst you
A change now suddenly became vi- bless her with a protecting roof ?--And sible in my husband's behaviour. He if her children's welfare is of consekilled his children with a tenderness quence to you, do not expose them to I had believed himn incapable of, and the disgrace, the horror of living to would frequently behold me with great behold their mother's contamination. emotion. I was too much subdued to Grant her request as you value ber inquire into what I was unable to un- everlasting peace, and remember, that deritand. He left me in a few suc- fome little atonement is due to her for
1769. Various Modes of obtaining Benefices. 235 omitting to set her right in her ideas deficient in others ? One by the help and sentiments, when her mind was of a good voice and elocution makes in a ftate of sensibility and innocence. a shining figure in the church, but his I am, Sir,
private character will not bear an ex. Your humble servant, act scrutiny. A second is an excel. INFELICIA. lent character out of the church, but
makes a despicable figure in it. А A former Subject continued. third shines in his obscure station, but To tbe AUTHOR of the LONDON cannot bear to be shewn in a brighter MAGAZINE.
light. In these cases would not a chaSIR,
racter of one's self, setting off the M Vinyoung friend was fo pleased bright lideconiy, be partial and ridicuof the good neighbour whose advice I here that the political maxim which lately transmitted to him, that he was distinguishes between the private and extremely desirous of being introdu public character has no place with reced to him; and I did all in my power spect to a clergyman. For though in (you may assure yourself) to gratify politicks a perion may be an accombim, because I knew he would give pished patriotwith whom, or for him entire fatisfaction in every doubt, whom, vast numbers would risk their and free me from a talk to which i lives and furtunes, notwithstanding find myself unequal. The following his private life is marked and sullied is the sum of their converlation. with many exceedingly detestable vices, Pupil
. In your conversation with Y. and his principles known to be irreli2. I find the following query :-If a gious and immoral in a very high debmp was determined to give his liv. gree--- yet a clergyman is not to claim ings to his worthielt curates, how this indulgence, because common sense hould he know them?- There is no is not as yet so far corrupted as to exanswer to i-but, I think, I should tend it to the church. But it is much write to make my merits known. to be hoped this blessed day is not far
Friend, Write !'a fine expedient tru. off. ly! What? tell his lord shop you have P. I do not claim the benefit of this the misfortune to be a curate with no indulgence, but suppose, that a person interest, and a spirit too high to stoop with any remarkable defects, either in to the dirty methods of making one? his public or his private character, How do you know but this may be, would not venture to recommend himor construed to be, a fatyr? Would self. you add, that you are a very clever F. Young men are apt to be genefellow, a man of merit, learning, mo rous in their suppositions. Experi. rals, eloquence, and what not? ence will give you juster notions. But, A fine ipecimen of your modefty in- if the person is such a finished chadeed. If a
bp should encourage racter, he will never succeed. fach addresses, would not he soon find P. You altonith me. Will his real all his curates men of prodigious me- merits be any impediment?
F. Yes. Envy excited by them will P. You don't like my scheme then: ruin him. The b---p is disposed to but are you not a little too hard upon learn the truth of his representation it? If a person is really conicious to of his character. of whom is he to himself that he is such a man as a learn it? Of the clergy near him? ba
-p, if he was acquainted with What will they say of him? Why trubis character, would prefer, might he ly..." My Lord--the gentleman you cot give an account of his character desire our opinion of is as far as and circumstances with decency and we know -a good kind of man humility, without being exposed to enough---at least we never heard any the imputacion of want of modesty? harm of him;" (they may add perhaps)
F. Are not men bad judges of their “ it is reported, that he is a little me. oxn merits, and apt to over-rate them? thodistically inclined --- but we would May not a person excel in some parts not affirm this
, &c. &c."-Should the of the clerical character, and be very clergy of the whole hundred be con
236 Various Modes of obtaining Benefices. May fulted, how many may we reckon Your ftudy will furnilh you with ftoi. whose character of himn would proceed cism, or christian patience, to bear farther than negatives? All who act your lot decently ; your garden will upon the same principles he does. And supply you with good wholesome vewho will affirm there are five such ? getables, to be added to the small pit
P. You will pardon me, if I think tance of Aelh you can afford to puryou too satirical--- but, if your account chase ; your friends, if your cellar is really true, a very hopeful scheme I can produce a bottle of ale, will chear had in my head falls to the ground, . you, and prevent your spirits from I imagined a bp would certainly being funk by the thought, that withand easily know the worthiest curate out petitioning you cannot hope for a in every hundred, by taking the votes living, and that you are forbidden to of the beneficed clergy in it.
petition.” The parapbrasers add, F. You took it for granted, it seems, that, if politicks were out of the ques. that the majority would naturally cen tion, and reason and the gospel only tre in the worthiest : perhaps you will consulted, it would not appear to be now allow me to suppose the person of a crime of a very black nature, for a molt interest would be sure of it. person in distress to present a petition P. I had avother scheme.
to his spiritual father, imploring his bp should desire each clergyman help. to recommend two, it is natural to P. That is the very thing I would suppose, that as one would be the have said. The endearing appellation friend of each, the other would be the of father induced me to think a liberworthieft.
ty might decently be taken with a F. This indeed has a good face-and b---p, which one would not venture perhaps might do, if envy had not upon with another great man. so much force as I have given it credit F. Names are apt to mislead. That for--.and if his l-rdsh.p would pay endearing title is applied to magilany regard to it---but after all.--you trates of various denominations, and are reckoning without your hoft frequently with as much propriety as for it is extremely probable, that nei. that of shepherd to those who think of ther you, nor your schemes, will gain nothing but fleecing their dock. You the least attention. You know not, will find in your future life, that these young man, the distance which great R. R.--- right worshipful, right, &c. men expect to be observed, nor confi- Fathers will not allow their children der the vast inequality betwixt a lord to take troublesome liberties with of parliament and a curate, and the them, and that all the real tenderness, impertinence of interrupting his 1-rd- of which that title gives you the idea, th-p's attention to the great publick is confined to natural relations. i concerns..-Wilkes and Liberty, Ame- knew a young clergyman, who, thro rica and independence, &c. by your want of experience, was just of you fcrolls. You perceive how strongly way of thinking. His b. Bishop Burnet condemns all such im- person naturally of an amiable tem pertinent applications in the parlage I per, but, alas! " so much obliging lately quoted. He seems to have rea. that he ne'er oblig'd," had declared for on his side, although, to deal on a visitation, that he was deter fairly with you, his enemies infinuate mined to give his livings to indiger that he wrote that paragraph rather in curates.-- and really proceeded so far the character of a political than an as to bestow two upon as worthlel evangelical b -p, and that the men as any in his diocese-..but both advice it gives is directly contrary to
well recommendedmi. e.-lupporte his own practice, and paraphrase bis hy good intereft. His l-rdih.p carriei words in this manner. “It is very his disinterestedness so far as to mak impertinent and indecent, young gen. a poor curate in order to give him tlemen, to trouble and interrupt me, living.--or, in other words, ordainet and other gentlemen of business and :he house fteward of a relațion's rela interest, with your petitions. Leave tion, and gave him a benefice. Tho us to bestow our favours as we please. this act might certainly be juftifie Mind your ftudy, garden, and friends. upon the maxim in necesitatem eccleg
1769. Moral Observations on Capital Punishments.
237 c. OT (as my good friend J. Miller To the AUTHOR of the LONDON well, though perhaps too ludicrously,
MAGAZINE. expresses it, viz.) that it is better for
April 14, 1769. the ground to be tilled by asses than
last concerning capital punis. gromblers, who insisted, that the be- sending you foon some further thoughts llowing the living was like giving the on that important subject, which I horse's provender and trappings to chose to defer till I knew whether any asses, and discouraging a regular edu. thing worthy of notice occurred at the cation, and would naturally augment Lent alize held for the county where I the neceffity it was intended to reme- live. Such I take to be the condem, dy. However this is...my young nation and execution of a poor young friend acting upon fuch fuppositions woman for murdering, by poison, her as yours, wrote to his l-rdsh.p such a bastard child about fix montbs old ! letter as you would write, and was That, doubtless, which generally honoured with an answer from a do- prompts such wretched creatures to meftic, “My lord never promises liv. perpetrate this crime, is the dread of ings before they become vacant.” It losing their reputation, and the desire wanted no comment. Go, mind your of concealing their thame, &c.--. This garden, &c. A noble lord applied was not the case of this poor woman, at the same time. The answer was who deliberately killed with arsenick jaft the same...“ My lord, I never her sucking babe, for fear (it is said) promise a living before it becomes va. that the should not be able to maincant"... with only this Night addition tain it, the father absconding, and the -.“ but should it fall in my time, I parish to which the belonged not afe shall remember your lordship.". My fording her requisite affiftance. Her friend laughs excessively when he re case was generally looked upon as pelates this instance of his juvenile folly culiarly compassionable. The worthy and inexperience. I know a person judge pronounced sentence upon her who, actuated by the same folly, wrote with remarkable reluctance, and with to another bo..p; successor, if I mis- the manly tear : nor were the by-stand. take not, to the former, and received ers less affected. Now, query, would no answer ; but his lordship took so it have been thought unjustifiable or much notice of his letter, as to en- unreasonable, if the jury had considered quire into his character and circum- her as non compos mentis
, and acquitted ftances. His end then was answered, her as such ?' It is well known that you will fay. Alas! no. The enqui- those, who lay violent hands on themsy was made through mere unmeaning selves, are generally viewed in this curiosity, and of a person too whom light by the coroner's inquest, who do a man of penetration would not think not suppose a man in his right senses caqualified to recommend a parith-clerk. pable of acting such a part. But is The only end it answered, was to it not altogether as improbable, that make his precious folly publick, and a woman, not deftitute of the exercise to subject him to the mortification of of her reason, would put to death (an being told by a person he looked down extremely painful death) her innocent upon with pity, that his father had ex, babe, which had long hung on her poled his weakness to bim, &c. with breast, and for which the had all along this addition, attended with a very expressed the same fond and tender af. Ggnificant nod, and important thake fection that nursing mothers generalof the head, “ You may be sure-I. ly discover? And if it be considered, did-not-give-you-a band character.” He that the declined taking the advantage owns this circumstance hurt him at given her at her trial, when such firft, but now it serves only for mat. things were suggested as might furnish ter of merriment, and “ peace to all her with a plea for her life, (her life such” is the worst he says of it. which the did not seem tu value) and
P. I have no more objections. Will that she did not appear desirous of an you favour me with your opinion of acquittal :--. If this, I say, be considerzhe laft fource, the university,
ed, may it not be thought questionable, F. I will consider of it.
whether he was not belides herself Your's, Y. 7. when he deftroyed her child, though