1769. The Hiftory of Infelicia. To the AUTHOR of the LONDON MAGAZINE. SIR, T 233 or promife of any fupply, and, on two or three occafions, a warmth of altercation intirely new to me. What would I not have given to be. It appears but just in the fevere restored to my unhappily renounced ballance of equity, that those miffortunes incurred by perverfeness, or ill-conduct, should be endured without complaint, and beheld without compaffion. But fhall we then deviate from every divine preceptor can the idea of mercy, when we feel ourselves Culpable, chear our imagination, whilft we act with fuch unremitting rigour towards one another? I myself am a melancholy inftance of the weakness as well as the infenfibility of human nature. Educated with a degree of tendernefs beyond what I am able to defcribe, prefumption inftead of gratitude fixed its empire in my heart. A ftranger to controul, when controul only could be falutary, every denial was confidered by me as an injury, every gratification as a proper tribute to my merit. Odious as this acknowledged arrogance must render me, it was rather the product of hierling adulation, than the native growth of my difpofition. Beauty and fine accomplishments were my imputed poffeffions; nor was it allowed poffible for me to be ungraceful or unamiable. Under this infatuation a young fellow was introduced by accident to my acquaintance who faw, and foon availed himself of it."Angels were painted fair to look like me.' -In a word, he foon perfuaded me, that to be happy, was to become his wife; to prove myself a girl of fpirit, was to elope from my natural protectors; and to demand their forgiveness, the belt return they could expect for years of tender folicitude, and unabating affection. I liftened with pleafed attention to all he fuggefted-admired his invention-approved the frolic, and never felt one repentant pang, or the fmaileft confideration for all my dear father and mother would experience. The little money I was mistress of was however no fooner exausted, than I began to awake from my prepoite rous lethargy.My husband's features apparently changed, no profpect May, 1769. ftate! The wretchedness of my condition becoming at length infupportable, I refolved to throw myself at my mother's feet, and, if poffible, replace myfelf in her heart-this refolution I carried into immediate practice. I found her much less implacable than my imagination had painted her, and happine's appeared once more to be mine. My father too received and acknowledged his child—but alas, fir! whilft they fupported me with one hand, they deftroyed me with the other. My husband's conduct and his character were fo utterly repugnant to their approbation, that I was not permitted to mention him, and in the moment they affured me of their everlasting protection, they fatally laid the foundation of all my fucceeding mifery. For fome time my husband rejoiced in my vifiting them, but frequently enquired if there was no hope for him. I foothed him, from a regard for his repofe, and indeed the apprehenfion of his difpleafure, with false expectations; until quite tired out, he began to accufe me as the cause of their neglect. I must have given them difadvantageous impreffions of his principles or difpofition, otherwife, to have been perfectly reconciled to me, would have been to be reconciled to him. The utmost eloquence of distress, the unceasing tear of affliction, were employed in vain to obtain his pardon. My father and mother would not have an idea that misfortune could reach me whilft they continued to fmile, and, ftrange as it may feem, were offended at my confeffing an anxiety, in which they had no fhare. It was a dreadful error, and can never be retrieved. My husband's refpect, confidence, and affection, fenfibly declinedwhat were not my fufferings !--I then began to find how ill my foul was adapted to impropriety, and that notwithtanding vanity had betrayed me into fo grofs a violation of every amiable tye, that vanity was incapable of G g filencing 234 The Hiftory of Infelicia. filencing the reproaches of confcience, or pangs of fenfibility. At this period of miferable uncertainty, I myself became a parent.-All the confequential expences were difcharged with a liberal hand. My father was inconceivably delighted with his grand-daughter, and my mother infifted upon its being called by her name. To all the natural fenfations of maternity was fuperadded in my breaft the flattering confidence, that a means of reconciliation was now within my power. Could I fuppofe the fmiling innocent would have proved an additional weight to my misfor tunes? The chriftening day arrived, my father and mother had the cruelty to infift, that my husband fhould not be admitted into their prefence. I would have remonstrated, but they were deaf to all my arguments; it was him alone they would confider as culpable: he had robbed them of their child, wounded their peace, and they never would fhew him a moment's countenance. My husband, ftung to the quick by this unexpected proof of their deteftation of him, now threw off all restraint. What infults did I not fuftain !-Could I expofe him? or to what purpose had I been capable-to conñrm, nay juf tify the conduct that had rendered him fo defperate? I was at laft the facrifice. Unable to provide for the dear infant, or from a want of natural affection, it was given up to the care of my father and mother, and I was denied the fight of it for ever. To defcribe the variety of wretchednefs I have paffed through, would be to take up more room than you can allow a fingle correfpondent, I will therefore only mention, that in the course of five years, he contracted every vicious habit in nature. Two other children were fellow-fufferers with their unhappy mother, at the fame time that they were the keeneft aggravation of all the endured. A change now fuddenly became vifible in my husband's behaviour. He kiffed his children with a tendernefs I had believed him incapable of, and would frequently behold me with great emotion. I was too much fubdued to inquire into what I was unable to underftand.- -He left me in a few fuc May ceeding days in his ufual manner, nor did I fufpect it would prove an eternal feparation. The late hours he was accustomed to keep fecured me from alarms, until the next morning arrived, and no husband returned when a note was conveyed to me by a myfterious means, in which I was informed he had left me for ever. My father and mother received me and my family into their houfe, provided for us with unbounded generofity, and, except that now and then an anxiety would fuggeft itfelf for the fate of the man I once loved, I had little to complain of until within thefe few months." Would you believe it, fir! uncertain as I am whether my husband is alive or dead, I am perfecuted on all fides to accept another. It is true, feven years have elapfed without his being heard of, but does that in any degree amount to a prefumption that he is no more? O my dear father and mother, have pity on me. When I withdrew myfelf from your protection, did I know what it was to be a parent? My fault, has it not been punished? My repentance, is it not fincere?-Allow me then, under my prefent fituation, to watch over your declining days, and form the tender minds of my poor children to virtue. Let me, let me teach them, that though misfortune is the common lot of humanity, the misfortune that is unaccompanied by felf-reproach fits lightly on the heart; to be completely miferable, we muft be culpable--and if the punishment of error has been fo very fevere, what would not be the portion of your once darling daughter, if the was confenting to enter on the confines of guilt? Is her happiness the object of your confideration and wishes? Can the be more happy than in her present fituation?If her honour is dear to you, is it not inviolate whilft you blefs her with a protecting roof ?-- And if her children's welfare is of confequence to you, do not expose them to the difgrace, the horror of living to behold their mother's contamination. Grant her request as you value her everlafting peace, and remember, that fome little atonement is due to her for omitting Various Modes of obtaining Benefices. 1769. Your humble fervant, A former Subject continued. To the AUTHOR of the LONDON MAGAZINE. SIR, MY young friend was fo pleafed with the fentiments and manner of the good neighbour whofe advice I lately tranfmitted to him, that he was extremely defirous of being introduced to him; and I did all in my power (you may affure yourself) to gratify him, because I knew he would give him entire fatisfaction in every doubt, and free me from a task to which I find myfelf unequal. The following is the fum of their conversation. Papil. In your conversation with Y. Z. I find the following query:-If a b-p was determined to give his liv. ings to his worthieft curates, how fhould be know them?-There is no answer to it--but, I think, I should write to make my merits known. Friend. Write! a fine expedient truly! What? tell his 1-rdfh-p you have the misfortune to be a curate with no intereft, and a spirit too high to ftoop to the dirty methods of making one? How do you know but this may be, or conftrued to be, a fatyr? Would you add, that you are a very clever fellow, a man of merit, learning, morals, eloquence, and what not? A fine fpecimen of your modefty indeed. If a bp fhould encourage fach addreffes, would not he foon find ail his curates men of prodigious merit? P. You don't like my scheme then: but are you not a little too hard upon it? If a perfon is really conscious to himself that he is fuch a man as a -p, if he was acquainted with his character, would prefer, might he not give an account of his character and circumftances with decency and humility, without being expofed to the imputation of want of modefty? F. Are not men bad judges of their own merits, and apt to over-rate them? May not a perfon excel in fome parts of the clerical character, and be very 235 deficient in others? One by the help of a good voice and elocution makes a fhining figure in the church, but his private character will not bear an exact fcrutiny. A fecond is an excellent character out of the church, but makes a despicable figure in it. A third fhines in his obfcure ftation, but cannot bear to be fhewn in a brighter light. In thefe cafes would not a character of one's felf, fetting off the bright fide only, be partial and ridicu lous? You'll be pleased to remark here that the political maxim which diftinguishes between the private and public character has no place with refpect to a clergyman. For though in politicks a perfon may be an accomplished patriot-with whom, or for whom, vast numbers would risk their lives and fortunes, notwithstanding his private life is marked and fullied with many exceedingly deteftable vices, and his principles known to be irreligious and immoral in a very high degree...yet a clergyman is not to claim this indulgence, because common sense is not as yet fo far corrupted as to extend it to the church. But it is much to be hoped this bleffed day is not far off. P. I do not claim the benefit of this indulgence, but fuppofe, that a perfon with any remarkable defects, either in his public or his private character, would not venture to recommend himself. F. Young men are apt to be generous in their fuppofitions. Experience will give you jufter notions. But, if the perfon is fuch a finished character, he will never fucceed. P. You aftonish me. merits be any impediment? Will his real F. Yes. Envy excited by them will ruin him. The b---p is difpofed to learn the truth of his representation of his character. Of whom is he to learn it? Of the clergy near him? What will they fay of him? Why tru ly..." My Lord the gentleman you defire our opinion of is- as far as we know -a good kind of man enough---at least we never heard any harm of him;" (they may add perhaps) "it is reported, that he is a little methodistically inclined---but we would not affirm this, &c. &c."-Should the clergy of the whole hundred be con Gg 2 fulted, 236 Various Modes of obtaining Benefices. P. You will pardon me, if I think you too fatirical---but, if your account is really true, a very hopeful fcheme I had in my head falls to the ground.. I imagined a bp would certainly and eafily know the worthiest curate in every hundred, by taking the votes of the beneficed clergy in it. F. You took it for granted, it feems, that the majority would naturally centre in the worthieft: perhaps you will now allow me to fuppofe the perfon of moft intereft would be fure of it. P. I had another scheme. If a bp should defire each clergyman to recommend two, it is natural to fuppofe, that as one would be the friend of each, the other would be the worthieft. F. This indeed has a good face-and perhaps might do, if envy had not fo much force as I have given it credit for--and if his 1-rdfh-p would pay any regard to it---but after all-you are reckoning without your hostfor it is extremely probable, that neither you, nor your fchemes, will gain the leaft attention. You know not, young man, the diftance which great men expect to be observed, nor confider the vast inequality betwixt a lord of parliament and a curate, and the impertinence of interrupting his 1-rdfh-p's attention to the great publick concerns.--Wilkes and Liberty, America and independence, &c. by your fcrolls. You perceive how ftrongly Bishop Burnet condemns all fuch impertinent applications in the paffage I lately quoted. He feems to have reafon on his fide, although, to deal fairly with you, his enemies infinuate that he wrote that paragraph rather in the character of a political than an evangelical b- -p, and that the advice it gives is directly contrary to his own practice, and paraphrafe his words in this manner. "It is very impertinent and indecent, young gentlemen, to trouble and interrupt me, and other gentlemen of bufiness and intereft, with your petitions. Leave us to bestow our favours as we please. Mind your study, garden, and friends. May Your ftudy will furnish you with ftoicifm, or chriftian patience, to bear your lot decently; your garden will fupply you with good wholesome vegetables, to be added to the fmall pittance of flesh you can afford to purchafe; your friends, if your cellar can produce a bottle of ale, will chear you, and prevent your fpirits from being funk by the thought, that without petitioning you cannot hope for a living, and that you are forbidden to petition." The paraphrafers add, that, if politicks were out of the quef tion, and reafon and the gospel only confulted, it would not appear to be a crime of a very black nature, for a perfon in diftrefs to prefent a petition to his fpiritual father, imploring his help. P. That is the very thing I would have faid. The endearing appellation of father induced me to think a liberty might decently be taken with a b---p, which one would not venture upon with another great man. F. Names are apt to mislead. That endearing title is applied to magiftrates of various denominations, and frequently with as much propriety as that of thepherd to those who think of nothing but fleecing their flock. You will find in your future life, that these R. R.--- right worthipful, right, &c. Fathers will not allow their children to take troublesome liberties with them, and that all the real tenderness, of which that title gives you the idea, is confined to natural relations. 1 knew a young clergyman, who, thro want of experience, was juft of your way of thinking. His b •P, perfon naturally of an amiable tem per, but, alas! "fo much obliging that he ne'er oblig'd," had declared on a vifitation, that he was deter mined to give his livings to indigen curates and really proceeded fo far as to bestow two upon as worthlef men as any in his diocefe---but borl well recommended-i. e.-fupporter hy good intereft. His l-rdfh- p carried his difinterestedness fo far as to mak a poor curate in order to give him living---or, in other words, ordained the house fteward of a relation's rela tion, and gave him a benefice. Tho this act might certainly be juftified upon the maxim in neceffitatem ecclefia 1769. Moral Obfervations on Capital Punishments. SIR, IN 237 Or (as my good friend J. Miller To the AUTHOR of the LONDON well, though perhaps too ludicrously, MAGAZINE. expreffes it, viz.) that it is better for the ground to be tilled by affes than left uncultivated; there were yet some grumblers, who infifted, that the beftowing the living was like giving the horfe's provender and trappings to affes, and difcouraging a regular education, and would naturally augment the neceffity it was intended to remedy. However this is--my young friend acting upon fuch fuppofitions as yours, wrote to his 1-rdfh-p fuch a letter as you would write, and was honoured with an answer from a domeftic, "My lord never promises livings before they become vacant." It wanted no comment. Go, mind your garden, &c. A noble lord applied at the fame time. The answer was jaft the fame..." My lord, I never promife a living before it becomes vacant"...with only this flight addition "but fhould it fall in my time, I hall remember your lordship." My friend laughs exceffively when he relates this inftance of his juvenile folly and inexperience. I know a perfon who, actuated by the fame folly, wrote to another bp, fucceffor, if I miftake not, to the former, and received no anfwer; but his lordship took fo much notice of his letter, as to enquire into his character and circumftances. His end then was answered, you will fay. Alas! no. The enquiry was made through mere unmeaning curiofity, and of a perfon too whom a man of penetration would not think qualified to recommend a parish-clerk. The only end it answered, was to make his precious folly publick, and to fubject him to the mortification of being told by a perfon he looked down upon with pity, that his father had expofed his weakness to him, &c. with this addition, attended with a very fignificant nod, and important fhake of the head, "You-may-be-fure-Idid-not-give-you-a bad character." He owns this circumstance hurt him at firft, but now it ferves only for matter of merriment, and "peace to all fuch" is the worft he fays of it. April 14, 1769. TN my last concerning capital punifbments, I intimated my intention of fending you foon some further thoughts on that important fubject, which I chofe to defer till I knew whether any thing worthy of notice occurred at the Lent affize held for the county where I live. Such I take to be the condem nation and execution of a poor young woman for murdering, by poison, her baftard child about fix months old!That, doubtless, which generally prompts fuch wretched creatures to perpetrate this crime, is the dread of lofing their reputation, and the defire of concealing their fhame, &c.---This was not the cafe of this poor woman, who deliberately killed with arfenick her fucking babe, for fear (it is faid) that the fhould not be able to maintain it, the father abfconding, and the parish to which the belonged not affording her requifite affiftance. Her cafe was generally looked upon as peculiarly compaffionable. The worthy judge pronounced fentence upon her with remarkable reluctance, and with the manly tear: nor were the by-ftanders lefs affected. Now, query, would it have been thought unjustifiable or unreasonable, if the jury had confidered her as non compos mentis, and acquitted her as fuch? It is well known that thofe, who lay violent hands on themfelves, are generally viewed in this light by the coroner's inqueft, who do not fuppofe a man in his right fenfes capable of acting fuch a part. But is it not altogether as improbable, that a woman, not deftitute of the exercise of her reafon, would put to death (an extremely painful death) her innocent babe, which had long hung on her breaft, and for which the had all along expreffed the fame fond and tender affection that nurfing mothers generally difcover? And if it be confidered, that the declined taking the advantage given her at her trial, when fuch things were fuggefted as might furnish her with a plea for her life, (her life which he did not feem to value) and that he did not appear defirous of an acquittal:If this, I fay, be confidered, may it not be thought questionable, whether he was not befides herself Y.7. when he deftroyed her child, though P. I have no more objections. Will you favour me with your opinion of the laft fource, the university. f. I will confider of it. Your's, there |