TORY PLEDGES.

I PLEDGE myself through thick and thin,
To labour still, with zeal devout,
To get the Outs, poor devils, in,
And turn the Inns, the wretches, out.

I pledge myself, though much bereft Of ways and means of ruling ill, To make the most of what are left,

And stick to all that's rotten still.

Though gone the days of place and pelf, And drones no more take all the honey,

I pledge myself to cram myself

With all I can of public money;

To quarter on that social purse

My nephews, nieces, sisters, brothers,

Nor, so we prosper, care a curse

How much 'tis at the' expense of others.

I pledge myself, whenever Right

And Might on any point divide, Not to ask which is black or white, But take, at once, the strongest side.

For instance, in all Tithe discussions,
I'm for the Reverend encroachers:—
I loathe the Poles, applaud the Russians,
Am for the Squires against the Poachers.

Betwixt the Corn-Lords and the Poor I've not the slightest hesitation,— The people must be starv'd to' insure The Land its due remuneration.

I pledge myself to be no more

With Ireland's wrongs bepros'd or shamm'd,—

I vote her grievances a bore,

So she may suffer, and be d-d.

Or if she kick, let it console us,

We still have plenty of red coats,

To cram the Church, that general bolus, Down any giv'n amount of throats.

I dearly love the Frankfort Diet,-
Think newspapers the worst of crimes;
And would, to give some chance of quiet,
Hang all the writers of The Times;

Break all their correspondents' bones, All authors of " Reply," 99 66 Rejoinder,"

Thus saying, post-haste to earth he hurries,
And knocks at the' Archbishop of Canterbury's.
The door was oped by a lackey in lace,
Saying, "What's your business with his Grace?"
"His grace!" quoth Jerome - for pos'd was he,
Not knowing what sort this Grace could be;
Whether Grace preventing, Grace particular,
Grace of that breed called Quinquarticular 1.
In short, he rummag'd his holy mind,
The' exact description of Grace to find,
Which thus could represented be
By a footman in full livery.

1 So called from the proceedings of the Synod of Dort.

"A sign of the times, I plainly see,"

Said the Saint to himself as, pondering, he Sail'd off in the death-boat gallantly.

Arriv'd on earth, quoth he, "No more

66

I'll affect a body, as before;

“For I think I'd best, in the company "Of Spiritual Lords, a spirit be, "And glide, unseen, from See to See." But oh! to tell what scenes he saw,It was more than Rabelais' pen could draw. For instance, he found Ex-t—r, Soul, body, inkstand, all in a stir,For love of God? for sake of King? For good of people?—no such thing; But to get for himself, by some new trick, A shove to a better bishoprick.

Let's run o'er the items;-there's Justification, Predestination, and Supererogation,—

Not forgetting Salvation and Creed Athanasian, Till we reach, at last, Queen Bess's Ratification. That's sufficient-now, sign-having read quite enough,

You "believe in the full and true meaning thereof?" (Boy stares.)

Oh, a mere form of words, to make things smooth and brief,

A commodious and short make-believe of belief, Which our Church has drawn up, in a form thus articular,

To keep out, in general, all who're particular. But what's the boy doing? what! reading all through,

And my luncheon fast cooling!- this never will do. Boy (poring over the Articles.) — Here are points which-pray, Doctor, what's "Grace of Congruity?"

Doctor P. (sharply).— You'll find out, young sir, when you've more ingenuity.

At present, by signing, you pledge yourself merely,
Whate'er it may be, to believe it sincerely.
Both in dining and signing we take the same plan,
First, swallow all down, then digest-as we can.
Boy (still reading).—I've to gulp, I see, St. Atha-
nasius's Creed,

Which, I'm told, is a very tough morsel, indeed;
As he damns-

Doctor P. (aside).— Ay, and so would I, willingly, too,

All confounded particular young boobies, like you. This comes of Reforming!-all's o'er with our land, When people wo'n't stand what they can't under

stand;

Nor perceive that our ever-rever'd Thirty-Nine Were made, not for men to believe, but to sign. [Exit Dr. P. in a passion.

LATE TITHE CASE.

But for Holy Church's future heirs,
Who've an abstract right to that pig, as theirs ;-
The law supposing that such heirs male
Are already seised of the pig, in tail.
No, not for himself hath B-mh-m's priest
His "well-belov'd" of their pennies fleec'd:
But it is that, before his prescient eyes,
All future Vicars of B-mh-m rise,
With their embryo daughters, nephews, nieces,
And 'tis for them the poor he fleeces.
He heareth their voices, ages hence,
Saying "Take the pig" — "oh take the pence;"
The cries of little Vicarial dears,
The unborn B-mh-mites, reach his ears;
And, did he resist that soft appeal,

He would not like a true-born Vicar feel.

Thou, too, L-ndy of L-ck-ngt-n!
A Rector true, if e'er there was one,
Who, for sake of the L-ndies of coming ages,
Gripest the tenths of labourers' wages.1
"Tis true, in the pockets of thy small-clothes
The claim'd "obvention 2" of four-pence goes;
But its abstract spirit, unconfin'd,
Spreads to all future Rector-kind,
Warning them all to their rights to wake,
And rather to face the block, the stake,
Than give up their darling right to take.

One grain of musk, it is said, perfumes
(So subtle its spirit) a thousand rooms,
And a single four-pence, pocketed well,
Through a thousand rectors' lives will tell.
Then still continue, ye reverend souls,
And still as your rich Pactolus rolls,
Grasp every penny on every side,
From every wretch, to swell its tide:
Remembering still what the Law lays down,
In that pure poetic style of its own,
"If the parson in esse submits to loss, he
"Inflicts the same on the parson in posse.”

"Sic vos non vobis."

1833.

"The Vicar of B-mh-m desires me to state that, in consequence of the passing of a recent Act of Parliament, he is compelled to adopt measures which may by some be considered harsh or precipitate; but, in duty to what he owes to his successors, he feels bound to preserve the rights of the vicarage." Letter from Mr. S. Powell, August 6.

No, not for yourselves, ye reverend men,
Do you take one pig in every ten,

1 Fourteen agricultural labourers (one of whom received so little as six guineas for yearly wages, one eight, one nine, another ten guineas, and the best paid of the whole not more than 187. annually) were all, in the course of the autumn of 1832, served with demands of tithe at the rate of 4d. in the 17.