LETTER LXXXIX. FROM THE SAME. WHEN the men of this country are once turned of thirty, they regularly retire every year at proper intervals to lie in of the spleen. The vulgar, unfurnifhed with the luxurious comforts of the foft cuffion, down bed, and easy-chair, are obliged when the fit is on them, to nurse it up by drinking, idlenefs and ill-humour. In fuch difpofitions, unhap py is the foreigner who happens to cross them; his long chin, tarnished coat, or pinched hat are fure to receive no quarter. If they meet no foreigner however to fight with, they are in fuch cafes genenerally content with beating each other. The rich, as they have more fenfibility, are operated upon with greater violence by this diforder. Different from the poor, inftead of becoming more infolent, they grow totally unfit for oppofition. A general here, who would have faced a culverin when well, if the fit be on him, fhall hardly find courage to fnuff a candle. An admiral, who could have oppofed a broadfide without fhrinking, fhall fit whole days in his chamber, mobbed up in double nightcaps, fhuddering at the intrufive breeze, and diftinguishable from his wife only by his black beard and heavy eye-brows. In the country this diforder moftly attacks the fair fex, in town it is most unfavourable to the men. A lady, who has pined whole years amidft cooing doves, and complaining nightingales in rural retirement, fhall refume all her vivacity in one night at a city gambling-table; her husband who roared, hunted, 4 hunted, and got drunk at home, fhall grow fplenetic in town in proportion to his wife's good humour. Upon their anival in London they exchange their disorders. In confequence of her parties and excurfions, he puts on the furred cap and fcarlet ftomacher, and perfectly resembles an Indian husband, who when his wife is fafely delivered, permits her to tranfact bufinefs abroad, while he undergoes all the formality of keeping his bed, and receiving all the condolence in her place. But those who refide conftantly in town owe this disorder moftly to the influence of the weather. It is impoffible to defcribe what a variety of tranfmutations an Eaft wind will produce; it has been known, to change a lady of fashion into a parlour couch, an alderman into a plate of cuftards, and a difpenfer of justice into a rat trap. Even philofophers themselves are not exempt from its influence; it has often converted a poet into a coral and bells, and a patriot fenator into a dumb waiter. Some days ago I went to vifit the man in black, and entered his houfe with that chearfulness, which the certainty of a favourable reception always infpires. Upon opening the door of his apartment, I found him with the most rueful face imaginable, in a morning gown and flannel night-cap, earnestly employed in learning to blow the German flute. Struck with the abfurdity of a man in the decline of life, thus blowing away all his conftitution and fpirits, even without the confolation of being mufical, I ventured to afk what could induce him to attempt learning fo difficult an inftrument fo late in life. To this he made no reply, but groaning, and ftill holding the flute to his lip, continued to gaze at me for fome moments very angrily, and then proceeded to practife his gammut as before. After having produced a variety of the most hideous tones in nature; at laft turning to me, he demanded, whether I did not think he had made a furprizing progrefs in two days? You fee, continues he, I have got the Ambusheer already, and as for fingering, my mafter tells me, I fhall have that in a few leffons more. I was fo much aftonifhed with this inftance of inverted ambition, that I knew not what to reply, but foon difcerned the caufe of all his abfurdities; my friend was under a metamorphofis by the power of fpleen, and flute-blowing was unluckily become his adventitious paffion. In order therefore to banish his anxiety imperceptibly, by feeming to indulge it, I began to defcant on thofe gloomy topics by which philofophers often get rid of their own fpleen, by communicating it; the wretchednefs of a man in this life, the happiness of fome wrought out of the miferies of others, the neceffity that wretches fhould expire under punishment, that rogues might enjoy affluence in tranquillity; I led him on from the inhumanity of the rich to the ingratitude of the beggar; from the infincerity of refinement to the fierceness of rufticity; and at laft had the good fortune to reftore him to his ufual ferenity of temper, by permitting him to expatiate upon all the modes of human mifery. "Some nights ago," fays my friend, “ fitting "alone by my fire, I happened to look into an ac"count of the detection of a fet of men called the "thief-takers. I read over the many hideous cru"elties of thofe haters of mankind, of their pre tended friendship to wretches they meant to be"tray, of their fending men out to rob and then "hanging them. I could not avoid fometimes in"terrupting the narrative by crying out, Yet thefe are men! As I went on, I was informed that they "had lived by this practice feveral years, and had "been 66 66 66 "been enriched by the price of blood, and yet, "cried I, I have been fent into the world, and am "defired to call these men my brothers! I read "that the very man who led the condemned "wretch to the gallows, was he who falfely fwore "his life away; and yet, continued I, that perjurer “had just such a nofe, fuch lips, fuch hands and fuch eyes as Newton. I at laft came to the account "of the wretch that was fearched after robbing one "of the thief-takers of half a crown. Thofe of the "confederacy knew that he had got but that fingle "half crown in the world; after a long fearch "therefore, which they knew would be fruitless, " and taking from him the half crown, which they "knew was all he had, one of the gang compaffionately cried out, Alas! poor creature let him keep all the rest he has got, it will do him service in Newgate, where we are fending him. This was an "inftance of fuch complicated guilt and hypocrify, "that I threw down the book in an agony of rage, " and began to think with malice of all the human "kind. I fat filent for fome minutes, and foon perceiving the ticking of my watch beginning to grow noify and troublesome, I quickly placed it "out of hearing, and ftrove to refume my ferenity. "But the watch-man foon gave me a fecond alarm. "I had fcarcely recovered from this, when my peace was affaulted by the wind at my window; " and when that ceased to blow, I liftened for death"watches in the wainscot. I now found my whole fyftem difcompofed. I ftrove to find a refource "in philosophy and reafon; but what could I oppofe or where direct my blow, when I could fee "no enemy to combat. I faw no mifery approaching, nor knew any I had to fear, yet ftill I was "miferable. Morning came, I fought for tranquillity in diffipation, fauntered from one place of 66 66 66 A A 4 66 public 86 public refort to another, but found myself difagreeable to my acquaintance, and ridiculous to "others. I tried at different times dancing, fen cing, and riding, I folved geometrical problems, "fhaped tobacco-ftoppers, wrote verfes and cut paper. At laft I placed my affections on mufic, and find, that earneft employment if it cannot ❝cure, at least will palliate every anxiety." Adieu. LETTER XC. FROM THE SAME. IT is no unpleafing contemplation to confider the influence which foil and climate have upon the difpofition of the inhabitants, the animals and vegetables of different countries. That among the brute creation is much more vifible than in man, and that in vegetables more than either. In fome places thofe plants which are entirely poisonous at home lose their deleterious quality by being carried abroad; there are ferpents in Macedonia fo harmless as to be used as play-things for children, and we are told that in fome parts of Fez there are lions fo very timorous as to be feared away, though coming in herds, by the cries of women. I know of no country where the influence of climate and foil is more vifible than in England; the fame hidden caufe which gives courage to their dogs and cocks, gives alfo fierceness to their men. But chiefly this ferocity appears among the vulgar. The polite of every country pretty nearly resemble each other. But as in fimpleing, it is among the uncul tivated |