« AnteriorContinuar »
Dr. Sharp. And I in the Lord's strenth desires to remember his warning, least that matter stumble other, or be a snar to me. Lord prevent 1 I writ hom ament the Earl of Mortoun. 14.—I found the Earl Craufourd inclined that I should let all ly to the Parliament and the Comissione. I was troubled, and lookd to God. I sent to Calder at night to him. I did purpos not to mak mickle use of Mr. Ja. Sharp, becaus others stumbla : albeit I thoght I might doe it lawfulie, and through the grace of God asisting, not sin, or necessarli fal in ani snare. But I perceav ther is small tendernes in me. Oh help Lord, quhen tendernes fail! 17.-Latherdal told me that if Chancellor or Middletoun did not concurr he could not doe me ani good. This smot me, for I find they ar not sound, or sincere to me. I was readi to giv ouer; but thoght I should not to abandon my trust and dependenc on God. In the meantym what he puts in my head or hart, I shall prosecut in his strength, and in the faith of his nam, faithfulness, al-sufficiencie, wisdom, righteousnes and truth. He can deliver, if he will, and thogh he should not I will follow and put my trust in him so long as I live. This efternoon, I went for natural refreshment with Cassils to the Bridg, and above I saw the plenti of the land, a populous citie; somethings of God's prouidenc, and acknouledgd the Lord in it, who had divided the kindreds of the earth, and giuen them their several habitations, not al alyk, but as his wisdom hath sein fit. I saw the Copres works; and acknouledge the Lord in the gifts and faculties which he gau to the children of men. . . . Ther cam to me one Moorhead who claimed kindred to me; he had been with Montros; still I found my facil natur: lead me for thy nam's sak. 18.-Die Dom. I heard * at Titl feild. How great a sin ignorance is, and the miseri of a land or nation quher the light is put out, or quher a famine of the word is sent. This is wors then a famin of bread. It brings night on a place soon, as the taking the sun out of the firmament would doe. Quhen the word grows scars or is corrupted, al manner of profannes and looseness breaks in, and increases. Parents should be careful to bring children to the knowledg of God, and to instruct them in his feare; for their blood will be required from negligent parents.
* The name is blank in the MS.
My mind was variousli tried with the thoghts off ther trouble for whom I was broght hither. My own thoghts seimed to feed me with hope of an issue from one external mean, or cours, or another: yet all hitherto had faild: soe thes wer all a lie or vanitie. Yet I sung Psalm 62, desiring to exercise my hop, expectation, and confidence in God, though he shutts euri dore. “Befor Him pour you out your hearts, God is our refuge hie.” Oppression and roberi is not to be trusted in, nor yet is the hart to be set on riches and welth, thogh they increas. “Power ALON DOTH BELong To God, and mercie also ; for He will reward euri man according to his work.” I seek grace from God to understand and applie this aright, and to exerceis my hart upon it solidlie throgh thy Spirit forming Christ in me, to bowing my hart to His pure and perfect word. Lat not roberi and oppression avail thes that arseiking to spoil others, and mak up themselus therby.
Whyl I was on this meditation, I had a chalenge within myself for the * Hatton in the year 1645 or 1646; for it seimd to be robbing, aud lyk M*Donald's .* I desird to search; but I fear my hart to be deceitful. Wer it soe, I would hold myself bound both to repent and restor. But I was doubtful, and forgot indeed if I had ani hand in that man's lending or fynning. 2. I did not persu him; nor is Glengerrie's caces lyk; quherin Itak the Lord to bear witnes, albeit I desir to be humbld, if I spok a word against that man for my ends. Therwer laws against intercommuning with ;" albeit now I am in som sort convincid that ther was too much seueriti in that law. In the caus, in the suffering, in the design of the one and other the caces differ. But let non prosper by oppression or roberie, wer it myself.
I desir to obtain forgiunes of ani secret sin, in that sam * cleans me; and the veri hidden sin to hav it forgiuen, and to obtain sound repentanc for it through the blodd of Jesus Christ. Oh! if I wer through examind, and al that's within me broght forth, quhat a monstrous creatur would I be How great would my torment, reckoning, and condemnation be, if God wakend conscienc and did but let me see clearli what wer in my bosom 1 Much dirt and foul abomination is ther hidden in my breast. Lord! abhorr me not : I sie man and myself no better then a diuel, void of sinceriti, uprightnes, and in quhat we doe ourselus, judging others; nay, without tendernes or conscienc, condemning in other, quhat we approv in ourselus, blinded, mislead, plungd in deip snars of unrighteousnes, deceit, uneuennes, throgh self love; not louing others, nor judging for others, and in ther caice, as we are redi to dog for our selus, and in our oun cace, or our relations. Lord! enter not into judgment with us; for in thy sight we (but abou all I) cannot be justified. Efter sermon, the thoghts of the Ladi Devonshir's" asistanc to my poor friends did tak up my thoghts. I prayd against it. 1. Becausmani imaginations that hav promised me something has faild, and prouen abortiv and uneffectual, and disappointed me. Therfor I desir to lay them asid, 2. They are unseasonabl, and importunat; and my poor silli mind soon listens. I see my weakness; and the Lord for a quhil helpd me againe them. I hav engadged my soul in it, and ingadgā for thes poor men of my —,” that if thou bring forth out of their teeth, and help us to be faithful and stedfast to thee, and in thee, and if thou wil inlarg our harts, and keep it in our remembranc, then this night I vow, and engadg my soul to thee,_That this deliveranc shall never be forgotten; we shall hav a day, a meiting to mention it; we shall mak a memorial of it, and it shall not be forgotten; and shall offer our presents to thee, as thou wilt inlarge our harts; for we are in great danger, hav none that care for us, ar verie lowe and helpless. But thou art the Lord. The cutting of the spirit of great ones, disappointing, bringing down, casting to the ground, breaking ther power, insolencie, and prid is propper to Thee, and Thee onli, who “cutts of the spirit of princes, and maks thyself terribl to the kings of the earth.” Oh! doesoe, but be merciful to the King of Brittain, and give him a sight of his own and 19.-I went to meit Midltoun, but could not find occasion of him. I returnd and acknowledgd the Lord. I writ to Mr. Sharp, Chancellor, and Treasurer, and sent Major Innes to Highgat to them : and committs the ishu of this to God. At night, I heard Mr Sharp did, but the Chancellor did not, tak weil with my letters, and lykd not my plainnes. If I hav dealt sinfulli, discouer, and forgiv
* Short-hand in MS.
* Christian, only daughter of Edward vived the Earl many years, having died on Lord Bruce, of Kinloss, and widow of the 16th of January, 1674. William, second Earl of Devonshire, who * Short-hand in MS. died on the 20th of June, 1628. She sur
me, Lord; if my failings hau been throgh imprudenc and want of wit, or policie, let it not turn to my hurt. I found the ways I yet had falen on, not tak the effect that I desird; yet I remembered how God mad my dealing with Mr. Murdoch M'Kenzie" and the ministers uneffectuall, and yet had saud me from ther hurt : and yet they had donal that was in ther power to ruin me. For this I will hallow and bless the nam of God, acknouledg and beleev on his wisdom, merci and kindness to me and myn, albeit he tak not my way, to bring my desir to pass. The Chancellor and Rothes did this day tak journey to Scotland. My cares and solicitud is upon me. But thou art the Lord for leading, and upholding, counseling, and bringing me throgh almy trubles. 20.-I writ hom by Generall Major Robert Montgomrie to Wm. Douni, E. Mortoun, Spinie, and others. Again I desird to consider the Lord's humbling rods upon my brother and his wyf, and my freinds; and to entret the Lord to sanctifi ther sicknes to themselvs and me; and to giue deliueranc and a merciful outgate in Jesus Christ: and that I be keepd from slighting thy rods. o Whilst I was thus considering of the Lord's dealing, I heard that Joseph's wyf was departed. This is a superadded stroak unto all the rest. I could not pass by this hand of God on me, and evri famili of my father's hous. Thus is my poor brother made desolat, and his children orphans. Leathin, Francis, elder and younger, ar under rods not to be despised. What means this? Mr Jhon, Joseph, William, ther families ar not. Oh! for grace to consider. I heard that it was not going weil with daill his ..a
," alac I That LatherI considerd all thes and ponderd them in my hart, desiring to observ the Lord's dealing, and [to] cleav to him qhuil Iliud, let others tak what cours they pleasd. 21.-I sent to my Ladie Devonshir ament my freinds, and did commit the ishue to God. I found new promises from Midltoun to speak for a letter of recommendation. But I dar build on nothing: but relies on God. 22.—I heard from Dumferling that Latherdaill said, that my freinds must compound, and ther was noe other way to get them off. This did lie verie heauily on me, and affected me veri deepli. In the night tym I had a dream, quher I thoght I cam to a great brae, and steep, and I could not goe down without great danger, thogh others with hazard had gon that way befor; and as I was perplexd, wearie, feard, and disquieted, I imagin'd I saw a safe way to goe about, and get weil ouer al the danger, which way was hid from me and befor not sein. This left som impression on me : I desird to know if it did import ani ishue that my troubl should haue However, lead me in thy way, and straight, plain path, for thy nam's sak. I found my expectation of the Ladie Devonshir, and that friendship vanish, for she was out of Town er I could meit with her. I acknouledg the Lord in it. I renew my praier, “Lead me in thy paths.” Major Innes going to Rohampton, hurt himself sore. L. of Glenurchie promisd to speak to Lord Candish” on our behalf. *23.—I cam to my Lord Chancellor of England,” and spok at lenth to him off E. Mortoun's buisines, and found that all which E. Midltoun and Sir Jhon Straquhan had been making a work for, for so long, God had giuen me a fit opportuniti of it without them . . The Ladie Cassils spok to me to deal with her Lord to permitt her stay: I desir to know quhat to doe. I most desir that shee should goe home for his good, and hers, and the familie. But her affairs were pressing; in that respect I reuere God's prouidenc, and would adviz him to satisfie her desir, thogh I hav my doubtings. Turn it for good to him, and to his familie! I had in the efternoon occasion of conference with Cassils for mutual edification. I found him veri .* But I did * diswad him. We spok of the lyf to com, the truth of the scriptur, and the difficulti to beleev them : thogh ani bodi think they beleeu. Finding som bodili infirmitie and frailti on myself, we spok of human frailti, and what our lyf is: mortification, the solid joy, and blestnes of the children of God in obeying and enjoying him heir beyond al natural pleasur in the world: the good of the croce and death; and that ther's nothing but sin to be compted insupportable, and the wrath of God for sin. Finding som distemper, I took som aloes. Oh! mak me readi for my chang; for “I am but a stranger heer, as all my fathers were.” I hau som
* See foot note, p. 181.