Imagens da página
PDF
ePub

al things, and thoght him a great king that had soe manie at command; yet how much greater is He that has al the cities of the world, persons, nations, things created in erth and heauen Who will not fear him 2 This King knows not his subjects; and if he knew a few of them, he sees not what is within them. Oh I shall I not ador Him that knows al His subjects by nam, knows ther veri thoghts afarr of, from whom nothing can be hid; the most wise, holy, just, powerful, alsufficient, eternal, everlasting God, by and from whom al things hav ther being 2 I heard one sermon in St. Margaret's, Westminster, quher the preacher prest holines as the souerain attribut in God, and the great duti incumbent to us to seru God without fear al the days of our life. He inferred that we should be holi in worshiping God; and that the Service Book was holie. 1. From this that He promises, quhereuer 2 or 3 meet in His name and agree: therfor peopl beforhand should know quhat is to be asked, otherways they cannot seek or pray aright. 2. Christ taught them a set form. 3. He usd not various expressions, but repeated the sam things again and again: He said, “Father let this cup depart,” &c. So does the Kirk of England. I marveiled to se men in the abstract speak of the holines of God soe weil, and yet in the application mistake. So natural is it to us to corrupt and mix the most pur truth, and the worship of God. Yet I found litle light or tendernes about thes things. Unclearnes, and not knowing or having opportunitie of such ministers as I desired, together with lothnes to be discoverd, made me willing to forbear the publick worship. I desir the Lord may not imput it to me, and that ther be no snar in it. I heard that yesternight the vote past in the Councel for 14 Bishops. I saw noe great appearance of much don by Sir Ja. Cuningham with the Chancellour. He desird to know if he should press it on him; and I, becaus it was the Lord's day, delayd it until I should enquir and seik the Lord in it. Alac all things seim to fail: but Thou art my rock. Adie went hom, who was one of the persons to quhom I was recommended to be taken to the Chancellor of England: I reuerenced the Lord's prouidenc in this. 31.-I was taken to the King, and kissd his hands; and did acknouledg the Lord in this, that I had sein his face in peace. Thus far has the Lord helpd, and I will yet trust in him for what remains. I obserud the Lord's prouidenc ordouring this matter weil, and I adore His wisdome. August 1–I found the E. of Midletoun not soe careful to gett this remission as I desird, but to tak a letter to the Parliament. The Chancelor" promisd faire, yet matters stuck. God inclind the hart of Latherdail" to me. I desir yet to look after God for direction and a blessing, for I am blind, and can doe nothing. Ther cam word from Scotland that I was agenting for al the Protesters. 2.—I dind with Cassils quher wer Latherdal .* I took liberti to goe abroad to Spring-garden, Tredah, and other places, and was readi to debord: in tym spending, loosnes, unwatchfulnes. 3.—I found my barrennes and distanc, desiring to mourn under it. I found bodili infirmitie, and desird to be exercisd and humbld under it. I saw the Bishop of Worchester, Dr. Morliz," and other Bishops. The Presbyterian Ministers wer admitted to the King. I desird to be fitted for the Saboth, and the day ensueing. Lord prepare me! I read something of the romanc of Cassandra, and was so impotent that my affections wer wroght on mor by thes inventions and fictions then by truth. I desir to be instructed, and know what the importanc of this [is]. Lord, teach me what is lawful, and what sin is in it ! 4.—Die Dom. I desird to be dulie touchd with my own condition, and with the state of the Kirk of God in both thes lands. But alas! that which concerns Him or His glori lies not upon my hart. Is it not the common diseas of the tyme, that if we may be weil ourselvs, we becom indifferent how it fares with the Kirk of God, or with the maiters of God? I desir to mourn under this, as I may the day. I desir to reflect on my own condition, and acknowledg His sovereintie that casts me into this place. He has cald and broght me to it; and what would com of me if he left or withdrew himself from me? I would soon com to nothing, and be confounded. “Let me not be confounded, for I trust in Thee.” Let me know why I am broght to this plac, that it may be for Thy glorie, and for good, comfort, edification to me, and al thes that ar concernd in me. This day I heard Mr. Mortoun at his kirk in Foster Lane, and finding that it was a Sacrament day, albeit surpriz'd and unawars, and unprepard, I yet desird to lay hold on the opportunitie, and to reaceau that ordinanc which the Lord had appointed and instituted for the edefying and building up of His Church. Theirfor beseeching the Lord to forgiue the want of preparation and examination; and [to] look on me according to my need. It s appointed for the weake, and I am such. . . . I know not if ever I shall reaceava Sacrament again without some superstitious invention, tradition, or mixture of man. I have sein nothing in the ministration of this ordinanc but in simpliciti, according to the Word of God. I will look to Him to bless the Sacrament, the Covenant, the comunion of His bodie, blood, and spirit; for I must feed on his flesh or die, drink of His blood or die. This is noe fancie, but real, and ther is an inevitabl necessitie of it. . . . 5.—But on the Monday I heard from Scotland that our enemies purposd to obstruct. Rothes told me the King .* All this fell heaui upon me, and I apprehended that my labour would be in vain. I spread it befor the Lord ; for I knew not what to doe. I heard ther service at Westminster, ther musick, vesturs, gestur, turning and bowing to the altar; and I was in som measur greiud to se ther superstition. Wer it not a human devic, ther musick is pleasing to the fancie, and seims to work on the affections; but it is not of God, and therfor I reject it. Lord learn me to worship Thee in truth and spirit! Mani and greivous army trials. I fain would be at rest; but the Lord puts a prick and thorn quhereuer I would sit down, and saies I must not look for it, but must be tossd and suffer, in other folks's] cace; it must exerceis me alyk as my oun. 6.—I dind with Cassils, and efternoon went and saw [St. Paul's, Royal Exchange, Pop's-head allay, and other places. The varietie of fancies, objects, delights, wer manie; yet I saw the emptines of all, and soght grace to discern that one good, blest, and perfect object, the attaining and enjoing quherof could alon affoord me rest. It sufficq me to hav alloud to me of al thes things what may seru for my accommodation and necessitie in my voyage. What crau I besid? I spok with Sir Rob. Murray at night, and heard him expres his indif. ferencie to the world, and the things in it. Oh Lord! learn me the grace of moderation and mortification. He advized me to caus the Chancellor speak to the King, at least to Latherdale, for my friends. The way of compassing buisines seems mor and mor difficult. Chancellor appointed me to wait on him at Latherdale's, to speak anent that buisines. I waited ther the fornoon and was frustrat. I had unquietnes under al thes disappoint ments; and that the dealing of thes men seimd not straight towards me. Lord! what shall I doe? Litl doe they mind the troubl, perplexities, and woe of others. They are at ease. Cassils cam to Court, and I saw how much favour others were in, and what disgrace he was under. Lord! sanctifie this to himself and to me. I found Midltoun against my freinds: and the stop was lyk to be by him. And it seems to me invincible. Oh Lord! giue light and counsel; for mani ar they that are against my soul to destroy it. Mr. Sharp cam and told me what conflicts he had heir to hold out unworthi men from being Bishops. 2. The English Bishops ther desir to hau men of ther choosing made Bishops. 3. The King's * the keys and disciplin and exercising of preaching also. He askd whom I would hau Bishop of Muray and .” He offerd kindnes to me, and to speak to the King for me. Lord! teach me what to doe, and let not this be a snare to me. 8.—I found E. Midleton my enemie, at least against a Afternoon I went with Cassils to George feilds. I considered if I should let ani thing fal with Lll. [Landerdaill] of the reasons against fynning. Oh! for homesti and holi wisdom. 9.—This day I was purposing to goe abroad for diuersion. Let it not be a blasting, nor suffer me through unsavourines, leviti, or inconsideratnes to sin. I din’d at Smythfield, with Cassils, saw Bedlam and the Artileriyard, Moorfeilds, and returnd. Much matter of humiliation did I see in thes objects at Bedlame. I desird grace to improu it to the humbling of my soul, and to the subduing of sin and increas of mortification. Grant this in Jesus Christ.

* William, Earl of Glencairne, Lord * Dr. George Morley, Bishop of Wor

Chancellor of Scotland. cester. * John, Earl, afterwards Duke of Lauder- * “Cassandra: the fam'd Romance, in

dale. five parts, translated from the French by a * Short-hand in MS. person of Quality.” London, 1652, folio.

* Short-hand in MS.

* Short-hand in MS.

a

10. . . . I saw the Ladie Balcaras” who told me of her husband's christian departur.” I walkd to Chelsli Colledg, and desird to acknouledg the Lord in his daylie prouidenc, and in what I lookd on and observd. 11. . . . Die Dom. I cam to heer Mr. Watson,” and afternoon Mr. Ley. I acknowledgå the Lord in the euening in his visitatiouns of judgment and mercie : how this night finishes 21 years since my beloud wyf died : I obserud the Lord dealing with me since. 12.-I saw Mr. Charles Pitcairn, an old acquaintanc. This day the Lord Cranstoun kild Captain Scrimgeour" befor our door almost. This was a cace to be exercised with. 1. How miserabl man is quhen left to his own passions and unruli affections. Oh! giv me not up. 2. Oh! how litl he had to boast off that had slain the other. 3. I desird the Lord to keep me from blood guiltines. 4. That it may not be laid to the charge off the land. 5. God giv him mercie and forgiunes that had fallen in the sin. 6. I adord God in his judgments, and desird to walk humbli befor him, and to fear; for if the Lord gaume up, I wer miserable. Dr. Sharp dind with me. I moud to him to speak to the King, and to my Lord Rothes for me, and my freinds. Let not his favour be a snar to me; for his principls ar full of danger; neither let anie stumbl at it. I heard that Sir Geo. M'Kenzie and Duffus wer to be on the Comission for excepting from the indemnitie. This raisd much fear and jealousi to me. Therfor I had recours to God; for al things seim dark. 13.−The Lord MoDonald cam to town, and I was troubled. Litl outgat as yet doe I see from thes troubls; yet dar I not mistrust. Earl Midleton told me I needed not fear; but the King would doe nothing to ani particular erSOrl. p I dind with Lauderdale, Cassils, and efternoon went with him to Neuingtoun and Lambeth.

He complained to me .e

Why should I complain on e

* Lady Anne M'Kenzie, second daughter and co-heiress of Colin, first Earl of Seaforth, and wife of Alexander, first Earl of Balcarras.

* His Lordship died at Breda on the 30th of August, 1659.

* Thomas Watson, minister at St. Stephen's, Walbrook, London. He was ejected for nonconformity in 1662, and lived many

years after the Restoration. Many of his
sermons have been published, of which the
most popular are his Sermons on the
Shorter Catechism.
* William, third Lord Cranstoun; this
event, not noticed in the Peerage, happened
at Holin in a duel. See Lamont's Diary,
. 140.
P. Short-hand in MS.

« AnteriorContinuar »