ON MARRIAGE.

Let the good man, for nuptial rites design'd,
Turn over every page of womankind;

Mark every sense, and how the readings vary,
And, when he's read them over, let him marry.

AN OLD ADAGE.

Truth should not lie, and yet she does,-
At least, so some folks tell:

"When? where ?" quoth Jack; I cannot guess."
Then check your vain surprise :

The adage says,

66 Truth lies

At the bottom of a well."

THE SWISS AND THE FRENCHMAN.

To a Swiss, a gay Frenchman in company said,
"Your soldiers are forc'd, sir, to fight for their bread,
Whilst for honour alone the French rush to the field,-
So your motives to our's, sir, must certainly yield."

66

By no means," cried the other; "pray why should you boast:

Each fights for the thing he's in need of the most."

A FRIENDLY INTERVIEW.

"So, friend, you wish me gone, I hear,-
Well! though I thought you more sincere,
Yet, still, I am forgiving."

"Dear friend, don't credit half what's said:
So far from wishing you were dead,
I am anxious for your Living."

ON SEEING A QUAKER AT ONE OF THE
THEATRES.

Mov'd by some spirit's strong resistless sway,
A broadbrim lately went to see a play;

When, near him, some one thus was heard to speak:-
"Methinks 'tis strange to see thee midst this throng."
"Yea, friend," he said: "I verily am wrong;
But when the spirit moves, the flesh is weak.'

THE MANNER OF WATCHMEN INTIMATING THE HOUR, AT HERRNHUTH, IN GERMANY.

VIII. Past eight o'clock! O, Herrnhuth, do thou ponder: Eight souls in Noah's ark were living yonder.

IX. 'Tis nine o'clock ! ye brethren, hear it striking:

Keep hearts and houses clean, to our Saviour's liking. X. Now, brethren, hear, the clock is ten and passing; None rest but such as wait for Christ embracing. XI. Eleven is past! still at this hour eleven,

The Lord is calling us from earth to heaven.

XII. Ye, brethren, hear, the midnight clock is humming;
At midnight our great bridegroom will be coming.
I. Past one o'clock; the day breaks out of darkness:
Great morning-star appear, and break our hardness.
II. 'Tis two! on Jesus wait this silent season,

Ye two so near related, will and reason.

III. The clock is three! the blessed Three doth merit
The best of praise, from body, soul, and spirit.
IV. 'Tis four o'clock: when three make supplication,
The Lord will be the fourth on that occasion.
V. Five is the clock! five virgins were discarded,
When five with wedding-garments were rewarded.

VI. The clock is six, and I go off my station;

Now, brethren, watch yourselves for your salvation.

THE BOOKMAKER.

Bill thinks his book has fancy shown-
It has Bill fancies it his own.

I

A TALE.

In debt, deserted, and forlorn,
A melancholy elf

Relsolv'd, upon a Monday morn,
To go and hang himself.

He reach'd the tree; when, lo! he views
A pot of gold conceal'd;

He snatch'd it up, threw down the noose,
And scamper'd from the field.

The owner came-found out the theft,
And, having scratc'd his head,
Took
up the rope the other left,
And hung himself instead!

THE CHAIN OF GOVERNMENT; OR, A PANEGYRIC ON THE LADIES.

When Beelzebub first to make mischief began,
He the woman attack'd, and she gull'd the poor man;
This Moses has told us, and hence would infer,
That woman rules man, and the devil rules her.

A CARPENTER BEFORE A SURGEON.

A cannon-ball, one fighting day,
(Sirs, doubt it not, I beg,)
Came in a merry captain's way,
And took his wooden leg.

Cries one," A surgeon bring with speed,
The fracture let him view:"

“No,” said our merry friend, “indeed,
The carpenter will do."

THE UPSTART AMPHYTRION.

No wonder if their lordships all
Vouchsafe to taste an upstart's wine:
If he gives dinners to Prince Paul,
He with Duke Humphrey used to dine.

THE LATE CAPTAIN O'BYRNE.

"Dear O'Byrne, pray were you bred to the sea?" To which the captain return'd for answer :"Dear O'Byrne, No; but the sea was bread to me."

TO A MISERLY BACHELOR.

Thou art just like a snail, with thy treasure and pelf, Because thou dost keep all thy house to thyself.

GOOD ADVICE.

It is folly with trifles to linger behind,

Or to hurry before, or to stumble betwixt ; For our breath is derived, like the echo, from wind, And we die every day as we live to the next.

ON "LIVING WELL."

Of all the arts in which should man excel,
The highest art is that of "living well:"
Twofold the meaning,-choose the right, 'tis plain,
Lest thou the art of "living ill" attain.

THE FRIEND'S COMPLAINT.

FROM MARTIAL.

So may I thrive, my Decius, as 'tis true,
Whole days and nights, I'd gladly pass with
you;
But two long miles divide, which, told again,
Amount to four, when I return in vain.
Oft you are out, or, if not out, denied,
By causes or by studies occupied ;
Two miles to see you willingly I trudge,
But four, to miss you, I confess, I grudge.

A NEW CHARACTER.

Said a late Duke of Norfolk, "I'm sadly put to't
For a character new; in October

There's a masquerade night.”—

claim'd Foote;

Something new!" ex

"Let me see; I have hit it-go sober."

CALONNE AT EIGHTY-FOUR.

At four score and four did Mr. Calonne
Oft ride at full speed, very near;

A man once call'd out, past whom he had flown,
"After what are you riding?" Said Mr. Calonne,
Sir, after my eighty-fourth year."

AN OLD SAYING MISAPPLIED.

One who, when asked, could not comply,
Exclaim'd, "I've other fish to fry."—
A Frenchman, who overheard the saying,
Soon misapplied it, this odd way in :
"I would do dat vich you do vish,
But I must go, and fry some fish."