At the entrance of Uffington Wood, in the neighbourhood of Faringdon, the following lines appear, painted in large capitals, on a board:

TO POACHERS AND OTHERS.

This notice I give,

To all who live,

And are not fond of dying;

That, if they enter here,

Their bodies, 'tis clear,

Will be packed off to hell for-frying.

Therefore, this advice take,
For your and my sake:

Turn about-march away-with your pack-man;
For I swear by the gods,

You'll meet with great odds

In your servant, obedient-J. Spackman.

ON THE PITCHED BATTLE BETWEEN
MR. POPE AND FATHER M‘GUIRE.

BY LADY M-.

A paradox sure more complete
Ne'er met a people's eyes,
For only by a Pope's defeat
Can popedom gain the prize.

Should the reverse be yet decreed,
And Mac lose what is run for,
The Irish Pope will then succeed,
And the Pope of Rome be done for.

ON LISTON.

The following got into circulation just after Mr. Liston was united to Miss Tyrer, but never was published:

Liston has married Fanny Tyrer:

He must, like all the town, admire her,-
A pretty actress, charming voice!
But some, astonish'd at his choice
Of one, compar❜d with him, so small,
She scarcely seem'd a wife at all,
Express'd their wonder: his reply
Show'd that he had "good reason why."-
"We needs must when the devil drives;
And, since all married men say wives
Are of created things the worst,
I was resolv'd I would be curst
With one as small as I could get her,-
The smaller, as I thought, the better.
I need not fear to lay my fist on,
Whene'er 'tis needed, Mrs. Liston:
And since, 'like Heathen, Jew, or Carib,'
I like a rib, but not a spare rib,
I got one broad as she is long-
Go and do better, if I'm wrong."

"THE NEW-OLD OPPOSITION."

BY MR. CANNING.

It is said the great men who are seized with the pouts, At their suddenly alter'd condition,

Who so late were the Ins, and so soon were the Outs,
Have decreed a severe opposition.

Nor will it be wonder'd at greatly, if those
Who're deprived of unmerited treasures,
As of old, should determine the men to oppose,
Though their consciences sanction the measures.

Such threats are by Britons too well understood
To create any just apprehensions;

Nor can they, who in power accomplish'd no good,
Now appal us by evil intentions.

ON THE POPISH PART OF THE CABINET OBJECTING TO SIT WITH A CLERK.

The Papists say they will not wait
The cabinet to clericize-
Their cry is, "Let's exterminate

All heretics and Herrieses.

CHURCH-GOERS.

Two lovely ladies dwell at

And each a churching goes;

Emina goes there to close her eyes,
And Jane to eye her clothes.

TOBACCO.

In the apophthegms of King James (12mo. Lond., 1658) is the following::-"If I were to invite the devil to a dinner, he should have three dishes-1st, a pig; 2nd, a poll of ling and mustard; and 3rd, a pipe of tobacco, for digesture." The writer of the following ancient epigram on a tobacconist seems not to have thought so meanly of swine and Virginian weeds as James I.:

All dainty meats I do defy,

Which feed men fat as swine;
He is a frugal man indeed
Who on a leaf can dine.

He needs no napkin for his hands,
His finger-ends to wipe,

That keeps his kitchen in a box,

And roasts meat in a pipe.

But Peter Haustio, who wrote A. D. 1651, styles tobacco-
A deadly weed, which its beginning had
From foam of Cerberus, when the cur was mad.

ON A MARRIAGE,

Announced in the papers as follows:- "Thomas Butler Chinn, Esq. of the Close, Litchfield, to Eliza Tippet, daughter of the late secretary of the navy."

Although the sun is sultry yet,

The cold will soon set in;

And Thomas does quite right to get
A Tippett for his Chinn.

WAX WIT.

The keeper of a village alehouse, in Cheshire, is a son of St. Crispin. Under his sign, a fine "roaring lion," is the fol lowing beautiful quatrine:

The landlord makes good boots and shoes,
Of any shape and size you choose!

Both gentlemen and ladies fair

He fits with most peculiar care.

BALANCE OF EUROPE.

Now Europe's balanc'd, neither side prevails,
For nothing's left in either of the scales.-Swift.

IN A MAID OF HONOUR'S PRAYERBOOK.
BY SWIFT.

When Israel's daughters mourn'd their past offences,
They dealt in sackcloth, and turn'd cinder-wenches:
But Richmond's fair-ones never spoil'd their locks,-
They used white powder, and wore Holland smocks.
O comely church! where females found clean linen
As decent to repent in as to sin in.

THE WICKED SON.

A father was saying,

To his son disobeying,

No father e'er had so wicked a son;

66

'Yes, yes," says the lad,

I remember, good dad,

My grandfather-he had just such a one.”

ON SEEING AN ACCIDENT ON A NEW MACADAMIZED PAVEMENT.

"Your roads are not level," said a fellow one day, As, crossing o'er Bridge Street, he happened to fall : "O, leave it to time," said M'Adam, "I pray."

Ah, indeed," said the man, " Time will level us all."