At the entrance of Uffington Wood, in the neighbourhood of Faringdon, the following lines appear, painted in large capitals, on a board: TO POACHERS AND OTHERS. This notice I give, To all who live, And are not fond of dying; That, if they enter here, Their bodies, 'tis clear, Will be packed off to hell for-frying. Therefore, this advice take, Turn about-march away-with your pack-man; You'll meet with great odds In your servant, obedient-J. Spackman. ON THE PITCHED BATTLE BETWEEN BY LADY M-. A paradox sure more complete Should the reverse be yet decreed, ON LISTON. The following got into circulation just after Mr. Liston was united to Miss Tyrer, but never was published: Liston has married Fanny Tyrer: He must, like all the town, admire her,- "THE NEW-OLD OPPOSITION." BY MR. CANNING. It is said the great men who are seized with the pouts, At their suddenly alter'd condition, Who so late were the Ins, and so soon were the Outs, Nor will it be wonder'd at greatly, if those Such threats are by Britons too well understood Nor can they, who in power accomplish'd no good, ON THE POPISH PART OF THE CABINET OBJECTING TO SIT WITH A CLERK. The Papists say they will not wait All heretics and Herrieses. CHURCH-GOERS. Two lovely ladies dwell at And each a churching goes; Emina goes there to close her eyes, TOBACCO. In the apophthegms of King James (12mo. Lond., 1658) is the following::-"If I were to invite the devil to a dinner, he should have three dishes-1st, a pig; 2nd, a poll of ling and mustard; and 3rd, a pipe of tobacco, for digesture." The writer of the following ancient epigram on a tobacconist seems not to have thought so meanly of swine and Virginian weeds as James I.: All dainty meats I do defy, Which feed men fat as swine; He needs no napkin for his hands, That keeps his kitchen in a box, And roasts meat in a pipe. But Peter Haustio, who wrote A. D. 1651, styles tobacco- ON A MARRIAGE, Announced in the papers as follows:- "Thomas Butler Chinn, Esq. of the Close, Litchfield, to Eliza Tippet, daughter of the late secretary of the navy." Although the sun is sultry yet, The cold will soon set in; And Thomas does quite right to get WAX WIT. The keeper of a village alehouse, in Cheshire, is a son of St. Crispin. Under his sign, a fine "roaring lion," is the fol lowing beautiful quatrine: The landlord makes good boots and shoes, Both gentlemen and ladies fair He fits with most peculiar care. BALANCE OF EUROPE. Now Europe's balanc'd, neither side prevails, IN A MAID OF HONOUR'S PRAYERBOOK. When Israel's daughters mourn'd their past offences, THE WICKED SON. A father was saying, To his son disobeying, No father e'er had so wicked a son; 66 'Yes, yes," says the lad, I remember, good dad, My grandfather-he had just such a one.” ON SEEING AN ACCIDENT ON A NEW MACADAMIZED PAVEMENT. "Your roads are not level," said a fellow one day, As, crossing o'er Bridge Street, he happened to fall : "O, leave it to time," said M'Adam, "I pray." Ah, indeed," said the man, " Time will level us all." |