leaves no means untried to keep up his charter, as he calls it. It is a confeffion not to be wrung from him but with great agony, that he cannot drink fo much as he did, that his appetite fails him, that he does not feel quite fo ftrong as he used to do, that he cannot leap on his horfe as he was wont, that he does not rest o'nights, and, in fhort, that old age will come.. Thefe are acknowledgments of a very mortifying kind, and it is fuppofed moft generally made in fecret, or given in confidence to the physician.

A late writer obferves of the following lines from Jane Shore,

"My form, alas! has long forgot to please,

The days of beauty and delight are o'er,"

that this bitter confeffion proceeded from the fex peculiarly framed to pride itself in beauty of form. But, he adds, acknowledgment of age is unpalatable even to man. This averfion is ufually imputed to vanity; yet it does not always proceed from vanity, but often from want of confcioufnefs. The mind does not grow old by equal fteps with the body. The fpan of life is fo fhort, that to ftrong memory and lively imagination. every part of it may be faid to be prefent. The fpirits of infancy, and the animated scenes of youth, feem.but of yesterday. The perfon who is now thoved off the ftage, has in fresh remembrance his being confidered as a child, recolle&s himself repreffed and neglected by the senior part of the company, and cannot believe that in a space to him apparently fo fhort, he can have occupied the place of those who despised his youth; his fpirits perhaps are good-his health not impaired, his foul is young, and he will not credit the decay of his .body. Much ftronger muft the deception be with the fofter fex, whofe reign of fashion and admiration seldom exceeds the trifling period of ten years at most. The paffage is too fhort, the voyage too pleafant, to let them listen

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liften to the pilot Time, announcing that the gale of adulation has ceased to blow, that the tide of pleafure and admiration has fubfided, and left the veffel far on fhore.

All this is very fine and very true. But here is the great fecret-" The mind does not grow old by equal Iteps with the body;" and a want of attention to this is what, I am afraid, occafions the great difficulty fome perfons find in growing old. Becaufe the mind is in full power, they think the body muft follow it. Because they can talk great things, they think they can do great things. Alas! what can the mind do after the body begins to walk off? The mind may be a very pleasant register of paft events (and I wish it were always a pleasant regilter of fuch); but without its former able affiftant, it can do no more. We may raise our voices, call aloud, utter terrible threats of terrible things; but what is all this when the legs are cafed in flannel, and the head fhaken with the palfy?

Do you with, gentle reader, to know when you grow old? Truft to your feelings, and never think of what you have been, but what you are. So fhall we

again fee a revival of old men and old women (at prefent, particularly the latter, very fcarce articles), and no perfon fhall pretend to be young and vigorous, who cannot back his pretenfions by health and strength.

"When does a man grow old?" This queftion will be perpetually recurring. I fhall fay but a few words to it. We all know to how many years men's lives in general extend—and we may observe how they carry their age, as it is called. Let us confider that in the first place: and in the fecond, let me inform you, my dear readers, that although there may be exceptions, as there are to all general rules, which nevertheless do not destroy those rules, you may be pretty certain that if you are past forty, you have turned the corner!

I am yours, &c.

DEMI-SENEX.

PUNNING, A NATURAL DISCHARGE.

MR. EDITOR,

IT

[From the fame.]

T is in vain that I endeavour to fearch into the annals of kingdoms for the effects of punning. It does not appear to have been the inftrument of revolutions; it has not added to the catalogue of wars; no king ever ruled the better or the worfe for the want of a pun; it contributed nothing to difpef the dark nefs of the middle ages; it fupported not the efforts of the first reformers; nor can it be truly faid that it has added to the genius, the taste, or liberality of the most polished times. Uselefs in all these refpects, punning has feeble claims on public attention, and much cannot be expected from an elaborate difcuffion of the subject.

Yet among the ancients I can find a tendency to punning. When Plato heard an eminent citizen, oneLec (lion), loud and immoderate in his clamours in the fenate, he faid, "This is to be a lion indeed;" a pun not of the very best kind, for many better are to be found in the writings of the ancients, could any one be prevailed upon to overlook their tafte, their morality, their fine language, and only feek for their puns. Our own day and time, however, is most dif tinguifhable for punning. I need not inform my readers that the laft and preceding centuries have left us fome famous punfters of all profeffions, law, phyfic, and divinity. But the prefent century has the merit of having produced the greatest punfter the world ever faw. Need I add his name? Every friend to punning must recollect his great patron, the Dean of St. Patrick's.

Other punfters practifed the art only. Swift wrote upon it, and reduced it to a fyftem; he united profeffion with practice, and no man ought to be deemed

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a.legi

a legitimate punfter who has not made himself master of the Dean's writings on this fubject. One treatise I in particular recommend, wifhing only he had given it another title: "God's Revenge against Punning. Showing the miferable Fate of Perfons addicted to this crying Sin, in Court and Town ;" and his "Rules for Punning," which are to be found in his Pofthumous Works. I have, indeed, long had an intention of improving on the former treatife, by giving to the world, in three or four volumes, "The Lives of eminent Punsters," having been perfonally acquainted with feveral of the most famous of the prefent time; but as fome of their lives are not in any fense finished, I must poftpone my intentions to fome future period, and in the mean time content myself with collecting materials for this great biographical work. A fhort sketch of the contents of one of my lives will show the plan. "Of A. B., a notorious punfter-Of his education, and how he punned at fchool-Is fent to the university, and puns there-Takes a journey to London, and how he was introduced among the punfters of the inns of court-Vifits the continent, and learns to make puns in foreign languages-Of his death and dying puns, &c."

Although punning be fo general that no fex or profeffion are free from it, yet we find there are fome perfons fo peculiarly formed by nature as to be incapable of giving or receiving a pun. Servants, geneally fpeaking, are not punters; your very great men are above it; and your money-making men finding by calculation that a pun will fetch nothing, appear not to be fufceptible of punning. But on the other hand, we see many hundreds in whom punning is fo natural, that we are inclined to think it arifes from fomething in the conftitution. If I might be permit ted from experience to advance a theory on this fub- · jet, I would venture, though at fome rifk of reputa

tion in medical knowledge, to affert, that "punning is a natural discharge of a certain matter, which fuddenly rifing and fermenting in the brain, would produce a diforder were it not fpeedily expelled." This is my theory of punning, and I think it may be confirmed by the following obfervations.

No man can keep in a pun without much uneasiness, and the head that is much oppreffed with puns muft have fome vent. What would a lady in grief do if it were not for tears? The fame ufe, I take it, is ferved by punning. Indeed, a few nights ago, a lady of my acquaintance, very fubject to puns, was fuddenly seized with an excellent one; but not having an opportunity of discharging it, fell into hysterics, as I thought; but the candidly informed me that this was only the effect of a pent-up pun. I recommended fome Hollands, but fhe answered, "fhe was not yet put to her fhifts."

Many perfons fuffer very much by endeavouring to ftop natural discharges; and we know that when perspiration is fuddenly obstructed by our coming out of a warm room into the cold air, the confequences may be very dangerous. An obftructed pun, if no relief be at hand, is likewife attended with very bad confequences, for it is an affection fo connected with the animal fpirits, that thofe perfons whofe puns have been ftopt, have frequently been dull, difcontented, and ftupid for a whole evening. Tom Quibble, an old friend of mine, and an incurable punfter, takes care to procure a free discharge for his puns, bawling them out fo vociferously, and with fo little attention to good manners, that he fometimes gives offence; and a gentleman lately told him very refpectfully, that it was the defire of the company he "thould not let another pun that night." All this, however, fhows that there is fomething in punning, which, to fay the least, cannot be obstructed without much difficulty.