THE BATTLE OF PUTNEY HEATH.

[From the Morning Herald.]

GOD profper long our noble King,
And guard our statesmen all

From foul mishaps of every fort,
That vulgar folk enthral.

When fome fall out, it hath been said
That others come to right;
But how, God wot, can this apply
To what I here indite?

Two orators, whofe venom tongues
Had left a point in doubt,
With weapons of more deadly mould
Refolv'd to fight it out.

The one a fquire, of manners blunt,

A patriot ftaunch within;

The other of a lordly breed,
A courtier tall and thin.
Fire-arms they chofe,-artillery dire,
Pistols, flint, powder, fhot;
Battle the powder,-what the ball
The poet knoweth not.

There be hard fubftances and soft,
Heads that no lead can bruise;
And bullets may be made of cork,
That can no heads abuse.

Forth went these wights one Sabbath morn;

Ill luck fuch acts betide!

Was there no other to be found,

Of all the days befide ?

Ye tremble, varlets,-well ye may,
At this fo gracelefs deed!

With fuch unfteady hands, what hope

Hath either to fucceed?

Look at that pendent form hard by,
That once was Abershaw;

And think what judgment due awaits
Such daring breach of law.

F 6

1

Thus

1

Thus Ipoke their friends, or might have spoke.

But arguments were vain,
On murder were fo fully bent

The bloody-minded twain.

The ground they took, the mortal tube
Each pointed as he might,
When marvellous, to either's fense,

Both vanish'd out of fight.

Again they prim'd, again they fir'd,
Again the film came o'er;
When now the feconds made a vow,
That they should fight no more.

*

Such was the mist that veil'd from view
The Greek and Trojan foes,
Preferv'd them for a future day,
And lengthen'd Ilium's woes.

STATE NEGOTIATIONS.

[From the fame.]

MR. EDITOR,

THE

HE famous treaty of Aix la Chapelle, it is well known, was negotiated in 1748, between the late John Earl of Sandwich, as the British Plenipotentiary, then a very young man, and Monfieur le Comte of nearly the fame age and promifing talents. They met, and opened their embaffy with projets and contre-projets, as remote from mutual conceffion as the late memorable ones of Charles Delacroix and Lord Malmbury, though, both were invested with full powers to conclude the peace on fuch terms as either might be enabled to obtain. On the third interview, finding no ground gained on either fide, Lord Sandwich thus addreffed his opponent ne

* Vide ILIAD, Book 17.

gotiator:

gotiator: Look ye, Monfieur le Comte, you and I come here, I perceive, precifely with the fame views of ferving our refpective countries, and exalting our own political reputation to the utmost of our power t it ftrikes me, that if we fritter it down by mutual concedings, neither of us will give public fatisfaction, and both be probably difgraced!I have to propose, therefore, a mode of decifion on the question, that will secure to one of us the full credit, which must be loft to both, if fubdivided by a further partition-treaty viz. by the impartial tofs-up of a GUINEA!"-The Comte, without hefitation, agreed to the terms; the Earl toffed up-the Comte called head, and loft; and, in confequence, the British Plenipo came home with the full ratification of his own terms, and thus eftablished a reputation, through every Court of Europe, as a statesman who had fo ably wrought for his country a chef d'œuvre of diplomatic polity! This extraordinary circumftance was related to the writer by the Noble Earl himself, in ridicule of the affected folemnity of State Negotiations.

Yours,

VARRO

DIPLOMATIC ANECDOTE OF THE LATE
DUKE OF BEDFORD.

[From the London Chronicle.]

1:

WHEN his Grace negotiated the peace of Paris,

he figned the preliminaries with the French Minifter Choifeul, and ftipulated no farther for the poffeffions of the Eaft India Company, than he was advised to ftipulate by the Court of Directors. A gentleman (a Dutch Jew of great abilities and character) hearing this, wrote a letter to the Duke of Bedford, informing him that the English Eaft-India Company had materially neglected their own interests, as their chief conquefts were made fubfequent to the pe

riod at which they had fixed their claim of sovereignty; and if these latter conquefts were to be restored, an immenfe annual revenue would neceffarily be taken from England. The Duke, ftruck with the force of the fact, yet embarraffed how to act, as preliminaries were really figned, repaired to Choifeul at Versailles, and addressed him thus:-" My Lord, I have committed a great mistake in figning the preliminaries, as the affair of the India poffeffions must be carried down to the last conqueft in Afia." To this Choiseul replied, "Your Grace aftonishes me; I thought I had been treating with the Minister of a great nation, and not with a student in politics, who does not confider the validity of written engagements."-" Your re. proach, my Lord, is juft," returned the Duke; "but I will not add treachery to negligence, nor betray my country deliberately, because I have overlooked her intereft unaccountably in a single circumftance: therefore, unless your Lordship agrees to cede the latter conquefts in India, I fhall return home in twelve hours, and fubmit the fate of my head to the difcretion of an English Parliament." Choifeul, ftaggered at the Duke's intrepidity, complied; and this country now enjoys about half a million annually, through the firmnefs of a man, whofe virtues have never yet received justice from the community. On the termination of the affair to his fatisfaction, he gave his informant, the Dutch gentleman, the warmeft recommendations to England, who accordingly came over, and received a penfion of 500l. a year from the India Compány, as a reward for his fervices.

A NEW

A NEW POLITICAL DANCE.

[From the Oracle.]

I HAD knock'd my laft pipe out, and stept into bed,
It was twelve, or at least pretty near,

When the strangest conceits found their way to my head,
And thus fancy began her career.

My mind all the day had been thinking on France,
Her fleets, and her armies on thore;
So I dreamt that all nations stood up for a dance,
Such a dance as was ne'er feen before.

SARDINIA, GERMANY, PRUSSIA, and SPAIN,
Were the foremost who jigg'd it away;-
Then ENGLAND ftood up-bid 'em play a bold ftrain,
And with HOLLAND they all danc'd the hey.
Thus join'd hand in hand, they all danc'd in a ring,
FRANCE caper'd and kick'd in the middle;
But fo quick were their tunes that they fnapt ev'ry string,
And broke down the bridge of the fiddle.

Tho' the figure was chang'd they still flourish'd their toes,
I ne'er faw fuch work at a ball!

FRANCE took out her fnuff-box, and turn'd up her nose,
Saying "Here's face to face with you all!"

Then the jump'd, and fhe footed, and frisk'd it to Lifle,
She there danc'd the beft, I must own;-

All the company faid, "the advanc'd in good ftyle;"
But again fhe fell back at Toulon.

Such dancing must harass poor mortals to death;
I remark❜d how each strove for renown;
But HOLLAND, declar'd fhe was quite out of breath,
And, without asking leave, fhe fat down.

Poor PRUSSIA, fatigued, was the next to begin
A propofal to finish the rout;

But Spain starting back faid-"If Pruffia gives in,
I am fure it is time to give out !"

I dreamt there must now be an end to the fun,
And that no other feats would be shown;
For at length other dancers fell off one by one,
And left ENGLAND and FRANCE all alone.

But