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gitious punster himself, but was accessary to the punning of others, by consent, by provocation, by connivance, and by defence of the evil committed; for which the Lord mercifully spared his neck, but as a mark of reprobation wryed his nose. Another nobleman of great hopes, no less guilty of the same crime, was made the punisher of himself with his own hand, in the loss of five hundred pounds at box and dice; whereby this unfortunate young gentleman incurred the heavy displeasure of his aged grandmother. A third of no less illustrious extraction, for the same vice, was permitted to fill into the arms of a Dalilah, who may one day cut off his curious hair and deliver him up to the Philistines. Colonel F--, an ancient gentleman of grave deportment, gave into this sin so early in his youth, that whenever his tongue endeavours to speak common sense, he hesitates so, as not to be understood. Thomas Pickle, gentleman, for the same crime banished to Minorca. Muley Hamet, from a healthy and hopeful officer in the army, turned a miserable invalide at Tilburyfort. - Eustace, esq; for the murder of much of the king's English in Ireland is quite deprived of his reason, and now remains a lively instance of emptiness and vivacity. Poor Daniel Button for the same offence deprived of his wits. One Samuel an Irishman, for his forward attempt to pun, was stunted in his stature, and hath been visited all his life after with bulls and blunders.
George George Simmons, shoemaker at Turnstile in Holborn, was so given to this custom, and did it with so much success, that his neighbours gave out he was a wit. Which report coming among his creditors, no body would trust him ; so that he is now a bankrupt, and his family in a miserable condition.
Divers eminent clergymen of the university of Cambridge, for having propagated this vice, became great drunkards and tories.
A Devonshire man of wit, for only saying in a jesting manner I get up pun a horse, instantly fell down, and broke his snuffbox and neck, and lost the horse.
“From which calamities, the Lord in his mercy “defend us all, &c. &c.” So prayeth the punless and pennyless J. Baker, knight.
TAKEN FROM THE Mouth of THE spirit of A PERSox, who was BARBARously slain by the
THAT THE SAID MOHOCKS AND HAWCUBITES ARE THE GOG AND MAGOG MENTIONED IN THE REVELATION;
AND THE REFORE
That this vain and transitory World will shortly be brought to its final Dissolution.
WOF to London | Woe to Westminster! Woe to Southwark 1 and, Woe to the inhabitants thereof I am loth to say, Woe to the old and new churches,
those that are built, and those that are not built! But woe to the gates, the streets, and the houses! Woe to the men, the women, and the children! for the MoHocks and HAwcuBITEs are already come,
the time draweth near and the end approacheth ! Not to mention the near resemblance between the names of MoHock and GoG, HAwcubite and MAGoc (though I think there is a great deal even in that) I shall go on to proceed in my more solid arguarguments, proving to you not only the things that are, but also the things that are not. The things that are, are the MoHocks and HAwcuBITEs ; the things that are not, are GoG and MAGog ; and yet both the things that are, and the things that are not, are one and the same thing. How this matter is, or when it is to be fulfilled, neither you nor I know, but I only. For when the MoHocks and HAwcuBITEs came, Satan came also among them: and where Satan is, there are Gog and MAGoG also. They have the mark of the beast in their foreheads, and the beast himself is in their hearts, their teeth are sharp like the teeth of lions, their tails are fiery like the tails of scorpions, and their hair is as the hair of women.
[Here the spirit paused a while, and thus again proceeded.]
Now listen to what is to come : Those that are in shall abide in, and those that are out shall abide out. Yet those that are in shall be as those that are out, and those that are out shall be as those that are in. Be not dejected tremble. The lions of this world are dead, and the princes of this world are dead also, and the next world draweth nigh. That ancient whig, the antichrist of St. John, shall lead the van like a young dragon; but he shall be cut piecemeal, and dispossessed. The dragon upon Bow church, and the grasshopper upon the Royal Exchange, shall meet together gether upon Stocks market, and shake hands like brethren. Shake therefore your heads, O ye people! My time is short, and yours is not long; lengthen, therefore, your repentance, and shorten your iniquities. Lo! the comet appeareth in the south yea, it appeareth exceedingly. Ah poor deluded Christians ! Ah blind brethren think not that this balefil dog-star only shaketh his tail at you in waggery; no, it shaketh it as a rod. It is not a sporting tail, but a fiery tail, even as the tail of a harlot; yea such a tail as may reach, and be told, to all posterity. I am the porter, that was barbarously slain in Fleet street: by the MoHocks and HAwcubites, was I slain, when they laid violent hands upon me. They put their hook into my mouth, they divided my nostrils asunder, they sent me, as they thought,
fear not but believe and
to my long home; but now I am returned again to
foretel their destruction.
The time is at hand, when the feethinkers of Great Britain shall be converted to Judaism; and the sultan shall receive the foreskins of Toland and Collins” in a box of gold.
Yet two days, a day, and half a day, yet, upon the twelfth hour of the fourth day, those emblems of Gog and MAGog at the Guildhall shall fall to the ground, and be broke asunder. With them shall perish the MoHocks and HAwcuBITEs, and the whole world shall perish with them.
[Here the spirit disappeared, and immediately thereupon held his peace.]
* Authors of several books in favour of infidelity.