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A master of this will say,
Mow the beard,
Shave the grass,
Pin the plank,
Nail my sleeve. From whence results the same kind of pleasure to the mind, as to the eye, when we behold Harlequin trimming himself with a hatchet, hewing down a tree with a rasor, making his tea in a cauldron, and brewing his ale in a tea-pot, to the incredible satisfaction of the British spectator. Another source of the bathos is,
the inversion of causes for effects, of inventors for inventions, &c.
A Bubble-boy # and Tompion tat her side,
Lac'd in her Cosins” new appeared the bride, }
which consists in the use of a part for the whole. You may call a young woman sometimes pretty-fice and pigs-eyes, and sometimes snotty-nose and draggletail. Or, of accidents, for persons; as a lawyer, is called split-cause, a tailor, prick-louse, &c. Or of things belonging to a man, for the man himself; as a sword-man, a gown-man, a t-m-t-d-man; a whitestaff, a turn-key, &c.
* Stays. + Tweezer-case. t Watch. | Fan. $ A sort of Perriwig; all words in use at this present year 1727.
The The Aposiopesis,
an excellent figure for the ignorant, as “what shall I “say?” when one has nothing to say: or “I can no “more,” when one really can no more. Expressions which the gentle reader is so good as never to take in earnest.
The first rule is to draw it from the lowest things, which is a certain way to sink the highest; as when you speak of the thunder of Heaven, say,
The lords above are angry and talk big”.
Or if you would describe a rich man refunding his treasures, express it thus, Tho' he (as said) may riches gorge, the spoil Painful in massy vomit shall recoil:
Soon shall he perish with a swift decay,
The second, that whenever you start a metaphor, you must be sure to run it down, and pursue it as far as it can go. If you get the scent of a state negotiation, follow it in this manner:
The stones and all the elements with thee
* Lee's Alex. f Blackm. Job, p. 91, 93. ! Job, p. 22.
Or if you represent the Creator denouncing war against the wicked, be sure not to omit one circumstance usual in proclaiming and levying war.
Envoys and agents, who by my command
Under the Article of the confounding we rank,
which raises so many images, as to give you no image at all. But its principal beauty is, when it gives an idea just opposite to what it seemed meant to describe. Thus an ingenious artist, painting the spring, talks of a snow of blossoms, and thereby raises an unexpected picture of winter. Of this sort is the following:
The gaping clouds pour lakes of sulphur down,
What a noble confusion clouds, lakes, brimstone, flames, sun-beams, gaping, pouring, sickning, drowning ! all in two lines.
2. The JARGon.
Thy head shall rise, tho’ buried in the dust,
* Black. Isa, c. xl. t Pr. Arthur, p. 37. † Job, p. 107. $24aere,
Quere, What are the glittering turrets of a man's head 2
Upon the shore; as frequent as the sand,
Quere, Where these Dimetians stood? and of what size they were 2 add also to the jargon such as
Destruction's empire shall no longer last,
Here Niobe, sad mother, makes her moan,
But for variegation, nothing is more useful than
3. The PARANoMAs, A, or PUN,
where a word, like the tongue of a jack-daw, speaks twice as much by being split: as this of Mr. Dennis.
Bullets, that wound, like Parthians as they fly.
or this excellent one of Mr. Welsted,
Behold the virgin lye Naked, and only cover'd by the sky S.
To which thou may’st add,
To see her beauties no man needs to stoop,
4. The ANTITHESIs, or SEE-SAw,
whereby contraries and oppositions are balanced in such a way, as to cause a reader to remain suspended between them, to his exceeding delight and recreation. Such are these on a lady, who made herself
* Pr. Arthur, p. 157. H. Job, p. 89. t T. Cook, poems. | Poems 1693, p. 13. § Welsted, poems, Acon & Lavin.
WoL, XVII. D appear
appear out of size, by hiding a young princess under her clothes.
While the kind nymph, changing her faultless shape,
Sadly they charm, and dismally they please +.
— His eyes so bright
The Gods look pale to see us look so red .
— The Fairies and their queen, In mantles blue came tripping o'er the green S.
All nature filt a reverential shock,
A GENUINE writer of the profund, will take care never to magnify any object without clouding it at the same time; his thought will appear in a true mist, and very unlike what is in nature. It must always be remembered, that darkness is an essential quality of the Profund, or if there chance to be a glimmering, it must be, as Milton expresses it,