GARTH: "This case seems to me to be plainly hys"terical; the old woman is whimsical; it is a com mon thing for your old women to be so; I'll pawn my life, blisters, with the steel diet, will recover "her." Others suggested strong purging, and letting of blood, because she was plethoric. Some went so far as to say the old woman was mad, and nothing would be better than a little corporal correction. RATCLIFF: "Gentlemen, you are mistaken "in this case; it is plainly an acute distemper, and "she cannot hold out three days, unless she is sup"ported with strong cordials." I came into the room with a good deal of concern, and asked them, what they thought of my mother?" In no manner of dan"ger, I vow to Gad," quoth Garth," the old woman "is hysterical, fanciful, sir, I vow to Gad." "I tell you, sir," says Ratcliff, "she cannot live three days to an end, unless there is some very effectual "course taken with her; she has a malignant fever." Then fool, puppy, and blockhead, were the best words they gave. I could hardly restrain them from throwing the inkbottles at one another's heads. I forgot to tell you, that one party of the physicians desired, I would take my sister Peg into the house to nurse her, but the old gentlewoman would not hear of that. At last, one physician asked, if the lady had ever been used to take laudanum? Her maid answered, not that she knew; but indeed there was a High-German liveryman of hers, one Yan Ptschirnsooker, that gave her a sort of quack powder. The physician desired to see it: "Nay," says he, "there is opium in this, I am sure." Yan Ptschirnsooker, a bishop at that time, a great dealer in politicks and physick. P 4 Mrs. Mrs. BULL. I hope you examined a little into this matter. J. BULL. I did, indeed, and discovered a great mystery of iniquity. The witnesses made oath, That they had heard some of the liverymen frequently railing at their mistress. "They said, she was a troublesome, fiddlefaddle old woman, and so ce"remonious, that there was no bearing of her. They "were so plagued with bowing and cringeing as they "went in and out of the room, that their backs ached, "She used to scold at one for his dirty shoes, at "another for his greasy hair, and not combing his "head: that she was so passionate and fiery in her temper, that there was no living with her; she "wanted something to sweeten her blood: that they "never had a quiet night's rest, for getting up in the "morning to early sacraments; they wished they "could find some way or another to keep the old "woman quiet in her bed." Such discourses were often overheard among the liverymen, while the said Yan Ptschirnsooker had undertaken this matter. A maid made affidavit, "That she had seen the said Yan "Ptschirnsooker, one of the liverymen, frequently "making up of medicines, and administering them "to all the neighbours; that she saw him one morn"ing make up the powder, which her mistress took; "that she had the curiosity to ask him, whence he "had the ingredients ?" They come," says he, "from "several parts of de world; dis I have from Geneva, "dat from Rome, dis white powder from Amsterdam, and de red from Edinburgh; but de chief ingredient of all comes from Turkey." It was • The clergy. likewise likewise proved, that the same Yan Ptschirnsooker had been frequently seen at the Rose with Jack, who was known to bear an inveterate spite to his mistress: That he brought a certain powder to his mistress, which the examinant believes to be the same, and spoke the following words: "Madam, here is "grand secret van de world, my sweetning powder, "it does temperate de humour, despel de wint, and "cure de vapour; it lullet and quietet de animal spirits, procuring rest and pleasant dreams: it is de "infallible receipt for de scurvy, all heats in de bloot, "and breaking out upon de skin: it is de true bloot-"stancher, stopping all fluxes of de bloot: if you "do take dis, you will never ail any ding; it will "cure you of all diseases :" and abundance more to this purpose, which the examinant does not remember. John Bull was interrupted in his story by a porter, that brought him a letter from Nicholas Frog, which is as follows, CHAP. CHAP. IX. A copy of Nic. Frog's letter to John Bull *. [John Bull reads.] FRIEND JOHN. WHAT Schellum is this, that makes thee jealous "of thy old friend Nicholas? Hast thou forgot how "some years ago he took thee out of the spunging"house?" ['Tis true my friend Nic. did so, and I thank him; but he made me pay a swingeing reckoning.] "Thou beginn'st now to repent thy bargain, "that thou wast so fond of; and if thou durst, "would'st forswear thy own hand and seal. Thou say'st, that thou hast purchased me too great an "estate already; when, at the same time, thou "know'st I have only a mortgage: 'tis true, I have "possession, and the tenants own me for master; but "has not esquire South the equity of redemption?" [No doubt, and will redeem it very speedily; poor Nic. has only possession, eleven points of the law.] "As for the turnpikes I have set up, they are for "other people, not for my friend John; I have or"dered my servant constantly to attend, to let thy "carriages through without paying any thing; only I hope thou wilt not come too heavy laden to spoil my ways. Certainly I have just cause of offence * A letter from the states general. against against thee, my friend, for supposing it possible "that thou and I should ever quarrel: what hounds"foot is it that puts these whims in thy head? Ten "thousand last of devils haul me, if I don't love thee "as I love my life." [No question, as the devil loves holy water!] "Does not thy own hand and "seal oblige thee to purchase for me, till I say it is enough? Are not these words plain? I say it is not enough. Dost thou think thy friend Nicholas Frog "made a child's bargain? Mark the words of thy "contract, totâ pecunia, with all thy money." [Very well! I have purchased with my own money, my children's, and my grandchildren's money, is not that enough? Well, totâ pecuniâ let it be, for at present I have none at all: he would not have me purchase with other people's money sure? since totâ pecuniâ is the bargain, I think it is plain, no more money, no more purchase.] "And whatever the world may say, Nicholas Frog is but a poor man in compari"son of the rich, the opulent John Bull, great clothier "of the world. I have had many losses, six of my "best sheep were drowned, and the water has come "into my cellar, and spoiled a pipe a pipe of my best "brandy: it would be a more friendly act in thee to carry a brief about the country to repair the losses "of thy poor friend. Is it not evident to all the "world, that I am still hemmed in by Lewis Baboon? "Is he not just upon my borders?" [And so he will be, if I purchase a thousand acres more, unless he get somebody between them.] "I tell thee, friend John, "thou hast flatterers, that persuade thee that thou art "a man of business; do not believe them: if thou "would'st still leave thy affairs in my hands, thou should'st see how handsomely I would deal by thee. "That |