he said was a manor that lay convenient for him, and left Frog and me the rest to dispose of as we pleased. We were overjoyed to think Lewis was contented with so little, not smelling what was at the bottom of the plot. There happened, indeed, an incident that gave us some disturbance: a cunning fellow, one of my servants, two days after, peeping through the keyhole, observed, that old Lewis had stole away our part of the map, and saw him fiddling and turning the map from one corner to the other, trying to join the two pieces together again: he was muttering something to himself, which we did not well hear, only these words, "'Tis great pity, 'tis great pity!" My servant added, that he believed this had some ill meaning. I told him he was a coxcomb, always pretending to be wiser than his companions: Lewis and I are good friends, he's an honest fellow, and I dare say will stand to his bargain. The sequel of the story proved this fellow's suspicion to be too well grounded; for Lewis revealed our whole secret to the deceased lord Strutt*, who, in reward to his treachery, and revenge to Frog and me, settled his whole estate upon the present Philip Baboon. Then we understood what he meant by piecing the

map.

Mrs. BULL. And was you surprised at this? Had not lord Strutt reason to be angry? Would you have been contented to have been so used yourself.

J. BULL. Why truly, wife, it was not easily reconciled to the common methods; but then it was the fashion to do such things. I have read of your

*It is suspected that the French king intended to take the whole, and that he revealed the secret to the court of Spain, upon which the will was made in favour of his grandson.

golden

golden age, your silver age, &c.: one might justly call this the age of lawyers. There was hardly a man of substance in all the country, but had a counterfeit that pretended to his estate *. As the philosophers say, that there is a duplicate of every terrestrial animal at sea, so it was in this age of the lawyers, there was at least two of every thing; nay, on my conscience, I think there were three esquire Hackums † at one time. In short, it was usual for a parcel of fellows to meet, and dispose of the whole estates in the country: "This lies convenient for me, Tom: thou "wouldst do more good with that, Dick, than the "old fellow that has it." So to law they went with the true owners; the lawyers got well by it; every body else was undone. It was a common thing for an honest man, when he came home at night, to find another fellow domineering in his family, hectoring his servants, calling for supper, and pretending to go to bed to his wife. In every house you might observe two Sosias quarrelling who was master. For my own part, I am still afraid of the same treatment, and that I should find somebody behind my counter, selling my broad cloth.

Mrs. BULL. There is a sort of fellows, they call banterers and bamboozlers, that play such tricks; but it seems these fellows were in earnest.

J. BULL. I begin to think, that justice is a better rule than conveniency, for all some people make so slight of it.

* Several pretenders at that time.

Kings of Poland,

CHAP. VII.

Of the hard shifts Mrs. Bull was put to, to preserve the manor of Bullock's Hatch; with Sir Roger's method to keep off importunate duns *.

As John Bull and his wife were talking together, they were surprised with a sudden knocking at the door. "Those wicked scriveners and lawyers, no “doubt," quoth John; and so it was: some asking for the money he owed, and others warning to prepare for the approaching term, "What a cursed life "do I lead!" quoth John. "Debt is like deadly "sin: for God's sake, sir Roger, get me rid of the "fellows." "I'll warrant you," quoth sir Roger; "leave them to me." And indeed it was pleasant enough to observe sir Roger's method with these importunate duns; his sincere friendship for John Bull made him submit to many things for his service, which he would have scorned to have done for himself. Sometimes he would stand at the door with his long staff to keep off the duns, till John got out at the back-doort. When the lawyers and tradesmen

After the dissolution of the parliament, the sinking ministry endeavoured to support themselves by propagating a notion, that the publick credit would suffer, if the lord treasurer Godolphin was removed the dread of this event produced it: the monied men began to sell their shares in the bank; the governor, deputy governor, and two directors, applied to the queen to prevent the change: the alarm became general, and all the publick funds gradually sunk. Perhaps, by Bullock's Hatch, the author meant the crown lands.

+ Manners of the earl of Oxford.

brought

brought extravagant bills, sir Roger used to bargain beforehand for leave to cut off a quarter of a yard in any part of the bill he pleased: he wore a pair of scissars in his pocket for this purpose, and would snip it off so nicely as you cannot imagine. Like a true goldsmith, he kept all your holidays; there was not one wanting in his calendar: when ready money was scarce, he would set them a telling a thousand pounds in sixpences, groats, and threepenny pieces. It would have done your heart good to have seen him ` charge through an army of lawyers, attorneys, clerks, and tradesmen; sometimes with sword in hand, at other times nuzzling like an eel in the mud. When a fellow stuck like a bur, that there was no shaking him off, he used to be mighty inquisitive about the health of his uncles and aunts in the country; he could call them all by their names, for he knew every body, and could talk to them in their own way. The extremely impertinent he would send away to see some strange sight, as the dragon of Hockley in the Hole; or bid him call the thirtieth of next February. Now and then you would see him in the kitchen, weighing the beef and butter*; paying ready money, that the maids might not run a tick at the market; and the butchers, by bribing them, sell damaged and light meat. Another time he would slip into the cellar, and gauge the casks. In his leisure minutes, he was posting his books, and gathering in his debts. Such frugal methods were necessary, where money was so scarce, and duns so numerous. All this while John kept his credit, could show his head both at 'Change and Westminster-hall; no man protested his bill, nor

Some regulations as to the purveyance in the queen's family.

refused

refused his bond; only the sharpers and the scriveners, the lawyers and their clerks, pelted sir Roger as he went along. The squirters were at it with their kennel-water, for they were mad for the loss of their bubble, and that they could not get him to mortgage the manor of Bullock's Hatch. Sir Roger shook his ears, and nuzzled along, well satisfied within himself, that he was doing a charitable work, in rescuing an honest man from the claws of harpies and bloodsuckers. Mrs. Bull did all that an affectionate wife, and a good housewife, could do; yet the boundaries of virtues are indivisible lines; it is impossible to march up close to the frontiers of frugality, without entering the territories of parsimony. Your good housewives are apt to look into the minutest things; therefore some blamed Mrs. Bull for new heel-piecing of her shoes, grudging a quarter of a pound of soap and sand to scour the rooms; but especially, that she would not allow her maids and apprentices the benefit of John Bunyan, the London Apprentice, or the Seven Champions in the black letter †.

* Too great savings in the house of commons.

↑ Restraining the liberty of the press by act of parliament.

VOL. XVII.

P

CHAP.