Peg's young men were

they had more than their share of the Christmas-box : to say the truth, Peg's lads bustled pretty hard for that for when they were endeavouring to lock it up, they got in their great fists, and pulled out handfuls of half-crowns, shillings, and sixpences.. Others in the scramble picked up guineas and broad-pieces. But there happened a worse thing than all this; it was complained that Peg's servants had great stomachs, and brought so many of their friends and acquaintance to the table, that John's family was like to be eat out of house and home. Instead of regulating this matter as it ought to be, thrust away from the table; then there was the devil and all to do; spoons, plates, and dishes flew about the room like mad; and sir Roger, who was now major domo, had enough to do to quiet them. Peg said, this was contrary to agreement; whereby she was in all things to be treated like a child of the family; then she called upon those, that had made her such fair promises, and undertook for her brother John's good behaviour; but alas! to her cost she found, that they were the first and readiest to do her the injury. John at last agreed to this regulation; that Peg's footmen might sit with his book-keeper, journeymen, and apprentices: and Peg's better sort of servants might sit with his footmen, if they pleased *.

Then they began to order plumporridge and mince-pies for Peg's dinner: Peg told them she had an aversion to that sort of food: that upon forcing down a mess of it some years agot, it threw her

*Articles of Union, whereby they could make a Scots commoner, but not a lord, a peer.

† Introducing episcopacy into Scotland, by Charles I.

into a fit, till she brought it up again. Some alleged it was nothing but humour, that the same mess should be served up again for supper, and breakfast next morning; others would have made use of a horn; but the wiser sort bid let her alone, and she might take to it of her own accord.

CHAP. VI.

The conversation between John Bull and his wife.

Mrs. BULL.

THOUGH our affairs, honey, are in a bad condition, I have a better opinion of them, since you seemed to be convinced of the ill course you have been in, and are resolved to submit to proper remedies. But when I consider your immense debts, your foolish bargains, and the general disorder of your business, I have a curiosity to know what fate or chance has brought you into this condition.

J. BULL. I wish you would talk of some other subject; the thoughts of it make me mad; our family must have their run.

Mrs. BULL. But such a strange thing as this never happened to any of your family before: they have had lawsuits, but though they spent the income, they never mortgaged the stock. Sure you must have some of the Norman or the Norfolk blood in you. Prithee give me some account of these matters.

J. BULL. Who could help it? There lives not such a fellow by bread as that old Lewis Baboon: he

is

is the most cheating contentious rogue upon the face of the earth. You must know, one day, as Nic. Frog and I were over a bottle, making up an old quarrel, the old fellow would needs have us drink a bottle of his Champagne, and so one after another, till my friend Nic. and I, not being used to such heady stuff, got bloody drunk. Lewis all the while, either by the strength of his brain, or flinching his glass, kept himself sober as a judge. judge. "My worthy friends," quoth Lewis, "henceforth let us live "neighbourly; I am as peaceable and quiet as a lamb, " of my own temper, but it has been my misfortune "to live among quarrelsome neighbours. There is "but one thing can make us fall out, and that is the "inheritance of lord Strutt's estate; I am content, "for peace sake, to wave my right, and submit to

"

any expedient to prevent a lawsuit; I think an "equal division will be the fairest way *." "Well "moved, old Lewis," quoth Frog; "and I hope my "friend John here will not be refractory." At the same time he clapped me on the back, and slabbered me all over from cheek to cheek, with his great tongue. "Do as you please, gentlemen," quoth I, 'tis all one to John Bull." We agreed to part that night, and next morning to meet at the corner of lord Strutt's park-wall with our surveying instruments, which accordingly we did. Old Lewis carried a chain and a semicircle; Nic. paper, rulers, and a lead pencil; and I followed at some distance with a long pole. We began first with surveying the meadow grounds; afterward we measured the cornfields, close by close; then we proceeded to the wood

A treaty for preserving the balance of power in Europe, by a partition of the Spanish dominions.

lands,

lands, the copper and tin mines*. All this while Nic. laid down every thing exactly upon paper, calculated the acres and roods to a great nicety. When we had finished the land, we were going to break into the house and gardens to take an inventory of his plate, pictures, and other furniture.

Mrs. BULL. What said lord Strutt to all this?

J. BULL. As we had almost finished our concern, we were accosted by some of lord Strutt's servants: Heyday! What's here? What a devil's the mean"ing of all these trangrams and gimcracks, gentlemen? "What in the name of wonder are you going about, "jumping over my master's hedges, and running ..46 your lines across his grounds? If you are at any "field pastime, you might have asked leave; my "master is a civil, wellbred person as any is."

Mrs. BULL. What could you answer to this?

J. BULL. Why truly my neighbour Frog and I were still hotheaded; we told him his master was an old doating puppy, that minded nothing of his own business; that we were surveying his estate, and settling it for him, since he would not do it himself. Upon this there happened a quarrel, but we, being stronger than they, sent them away with a flea in their ear. They went home and told their master †: "My lord," said they, "there are three odd sort "of fellows going about your grounds, with the "strangest machines that ever we beheld in our life:

suppose they are going to rob your orchard, fell your trees, or drive away your cattle: they told us "strange things of settling your estate: one is a lusty

The West-Indies.

This partition of the king of Spain's dominions was made. without his consent, or even his knowledge.

"old

"old fellow, in a black wig, with a black beard, "without teeth: there's another thick squat fellow, "in trunk-hose: the third is a little, long-nosed, thin "man (I was then lean, being just come out of a fit "of sickness). I suppose it is fit to send after them, "lest they carry something away."

Mrs. BULL. I fancy this put the old fellow in a rare tweague.

J. BULL. Weak as he was, he called for his long toledo, swore and bounced about the room, "'Sdeath! "what am I come to, to be affronted so by my "tradesmen? I know the rascals: my barber, clo"thier, and linendraper dispose of my estate! bring "hither my blunderbuss. I'll warrant ye, you shall "see daylight through them. Scoundrels! dogs! "the scum of the earth! Frog, that was my father's kitchenboy! he pretend to meddle with my estate ! "with my will! Ah poor Strutt! what art thou come "to at last? Thou hast lived too long in the world, "to see thy age and infirmity so despised: how will "the ghosts of my noble ancestors receive these

c

tidings? They cannot, they must not sleep quietly "in their graves." In short, the old gentleman was carried off in a fainting fit; and, after bleeding in both arms, hardly recovered.

Mrs. BULL. Really this was a very extraordinary way of proceeding: I long to hear the rest of it.

J. BULL. After we had come back to the tavern, and taken t'other bottle of Champagne, we quarrelled a little about the division of the estate. Lewis hauled and pulled the map on one side, and Frog and I on the other, till we had like to have torn the parchment to pieces. At last Lewis pulled out a pair of great tailors sheers, and clipped a corner for himself, which

he