and spirit in abundance, and knew when she was ill used: now and then she would seize upon John's commons, snatch a leg of a pullet, or a bit of good beef, for which they were sure to go to fisty-cuffs. Master was indeed too strong for her; but miss would not yield in the least point, but even when master had got her down, she would scratch and bite like a tiger; when he gave her a cuff on the ear, she would prick him with her knitting-needle. John brought a great chain one day to tie her to the bedpost, for which affront miss aimed a penknife at his heart *. In short, these quarrels grew up to rooted aversions; they gave one another nicknames: she called him Gundyguts, and he called her Lousy Peg; though the girl was a tight clever wench as any was, and through her pale looks you might discern spirit and vivacity, which made her not, indeed, a perfect beauty, but something that was agreeable. It was barbarous in parents not to take notice of these early quarrels, and make them live better together, such domestic feuds proving afterward the occasion of misfortunes to them both. Peg had, indeed, some odd humours, and comical antipathies, for which John would jeer her. "What think you of my sister Peg

(says he) that faints at the sound of an organ, and yet will dance and frisk at the noise of a bagpipe?" "What's that to you, Gundyguts (quoth Peg) every body's to choose their own musick." Then Peg had taken a fancy not to say her Pater noster, which made people imagine strange things of her. Of the

Henry VII, to unite the two kingdoms under one sovereign, offered his daughter Mary to James V of Scotland; this offer was rejected, and followed by a war: to this event probably the author allu les.

three

three brothers, that have made such a clutter in the world, lord Peter, Martin, and Jack, Jack had of late been her inclinations*: lord Peter she detested; nor did Martin stand much better in her good graces, but Jack hath found the way to her heart. I have often admired, what charms she discovered in that awkward booby, till I talked with a person that was acquainted with the intrigue, who gave me the following account of it.

CHAP. III.

Jack's charms, or the method by which he gained Peg's heart t.

IN the first place, Jack was a very young fellow, by much the youngest of the three brothers, and people, indeed, wondered how such a young upstart jackanapes should grow, so pert and saucy, and take so much upon him.

Jack bragged of greater abilities than other men; he was well gifted, as he pretended; I need not tell you what secret influence that has upon the ladies.

Jack had a most scandalous tongue, and persuaded Peg that all mankind, beside himself, were poxed by that scarlet-faced whore signiora Bubonia ‡. "As "for his brother, lord Peter, the tokens were evident

Love of presbytery.

+Character of the presbyterians.

The whore of Babylon, or the pope.

<< on

on him, blotches, scabs, and the corona: his "brother Martin, though he was not quite so bad, "had some nocturnal pains, which his friends pre"tended were only scorbutical; but he was sure it " proceeded from a worse cause." By such malicious insinuations, he had possessed the lady, that he was the only man in the world of a sound, pure, and untainted constitution: though there were some that stuck not to say, that signiora Bubonia and Jack railed at one another, only the better to hide an intrigue; and that Jack had been found with signiora under his cloak, carrying her home in a dark stormy night.

Jack was a prodigious ogler; he would ogle you the outside of his eye inward, and the white upward.

Jack gave himself out for a man of a great estate in the Fortunate Island's; of which the sole property was vested in his person: by this trick he cheated abundance of poor people of small sums, pretending to make over plantations in the said islands; but when the poor wretches came there with Jack's grant, they were beat, mocked, and turned out of doors.

I told you that Peg was whimsical, and loved any thing that was particular: in that way, Jack was her man, for he neither thought, spoke, dressed, nor acted like other mortals: he was for your bold strokes, he railed at fops, though he was himself the most affected in the world; instead of the common fashion, he would visit his mistress in a mourning cloak, band, short cuffs, and a peaked beard. He invented a way of coming into a room backward, which, he said, showed more humility, and less affectation: where other people stood, he sat; where they sat, he stood; when he went to court, he used to kick away the

state,

state, and sit down by his prince cheek by jole: Confound these states, says he, they are a modern invention when he spoke to his prince, he always turned his br―ch upon him: if he was advised to fast for his health, he would eat roast beef; if he was allowed a more plentiful diet, then he would be sure that day to live upon watergruel; he would cry at a wedding, laugh and make jests at a funeral.

He was no less singular in his opinions; you would have burst your sides to hear him talk of politicks: All government, says he, is founded upon the

right distribution of punishments; decent execu"tions keep the world in awe; for that reason the majority of mankind ought to be hanged every year. "For example, I suppose, the magistrate ought to

pass an irreversible sentence upon all blue-eyed "children from the cradle *; but that there may be "some show of justice in this proceeding, these chil"dren ought to be trained up by masters, appointed "for that purpose, to all sorts of villany †; that they may deserve their fate, and the execution of them

may serve as an object of terrour to the rest of man"kind." As to the giving of pardons, he had this singular method, that when these wretches had the rope about their necks, it should be inquired, who believed they should be hanged, and who not ? the first were to be pardoned, the last hanged outright. Such as were once pardoned, were never to be hanged afterward for any crime whatsoever. He had such skill in physiognomy, that he would pronounce peremptorily upon a man's face, That fellow, says he,

* Absolute predestination.

+ Reprobation.

Saving faith; a belief that one shall certainly be saved. || Election.

do what he will, can't avoid hanging; he has a hanging look. By the same art he would prognosticate a principality to a scoundrel.

He was no less particular in the choice of his studies; they were generally bent toward exploded chimeras, the perpetuum mobile, the circular shot, philosopher's stone, silent gunpowder, making chains for fleas, nets for flies, and instruments to unravel cobwebs, and split hairs*.

Thus, I think, I have given a distinct account of the methods he practised upon Peg. Her brother would now and then ask her, "What a devil do'st "thou see in that pragmatical coxcomb to make thee "so in love with him? he is a fit match for a tailor "or a shoemaker's daughter, but not for you, that are "a gentlewoman." Fancy is free," quoth Peg: "I'll take my own way, do you take yours. I do not "care for your flaunting beaus, that gang with their "breasts open, and their sarks over their waistcoats; "that accost me with set speeches out of Sidney's Arcadia, or the Academy of Compliments. Jack "is a sober, grave, young man: though he has none "of your studied harangues, his meaning is sincere : "he has a great regard to his father's will; and he "that shows himself a good son, will make a good "husband; besides, I know he has the original deed "of conveyance to the Fortunate Islands; the others "are counterfeits." There is nothing so obstinate as a young lady in her amours; the more you cross her, the worse she is.

The learning of the presbyterians.

CHAP.