Then she used to carry tales and stories from one to another, till she had set the whole neighbourhood together by the ears; and this was the only diversion she took pleasure in. She never went abroad, but she brought home such a bundle of monstrous lies, as would have amazed any mortal but such as knew her: of a whale that had swallowed a fleet of ships; of the lions being let out of the Tower to destroy the protestant religion; of the pope's being seen in a brandyshop at Wapping; and of a prodigious strong man, that was going to shove down the cupola of St. Paul's; of three millions of five pound pieces, that esquire South had found under an old wall; of blazing stars, flying dragons, and abundance of such stuff. All the servants in the family made high court. to her, for she domineered there, and turned out and in whom she pleased; only there was an old grudge between her and sir Roger, whom she mortally hated, and used to hire fellows to squirt kennel water upon him, as he passed along the streets; so that he was forced constantly to wear a surtout of oiled cloth, by which means he came home pretty clean, except where the surtout was a little scanty.

As for the third *, she was a thief, and a common mercenary prostitute, and that without any solicitation from nature, for she owned she had no enjoyment. She had no respect of persons; a prince or a porter was all one, according as they paid; yea, she would leave the finest gentleman in the world, to go to an ugly pocky fellow, for sixpence more. In the practice of her profession she had amassed vast magazines of all sorts of things; she had above five hundred suits of fine clothes, and yet went abroad like a cinUsuria, Usury.

derwench:

derwench: she robbed and starved all the servants, so that nobody could live near her.

So much for John's three daughters, which you will say were rarities to be fond of: yet nature will show itself; nobody could blame their relations for taking care of them: and therefore it was that Hocus, with two other of the guardians, thought it their duty to take care of the interest of the three girls, and give John their best advice before he compounded the lawsuit.

Hocus. What makes you so shy of late, my good friend? There's nobody loves you better than I, nor has taken more pains in your affairs: as I hope to be saved, I would do any thing to serve you; I would crawl upon all four to serve you; I have spent my health and paternal estate in your service. I have indeed a small pittance left, with which I might retire, and with as good a conscience as any man: but the thoughts of this disgraceful composition so touches me to the quick, that I cannot sleep: after I had brought the cause to the last stroke, that one verdict more had quite ruined old Lewis and lord Strutt, and put you in the quiet possession of every thing; then to compound! I cannot bear it. This cause was my favourite, I had set my heart upon it; it is like an only child; I cannot endure it should miscarry; for God's sake consider only to what a dismal condition old Lewis is brought. He is at an end of all his cash; his attorneys have hardly one trick left; they are at an end of all their chicane; besides, he has both his law and his daily bread now upon trust. Hold out only one term longer, and I'll warrant you, before the next, we shall have him in the Fleet. I'll bring him to the pillory; his cars shall pay for his perjuries.

For

For the love of God don't compound: let me be damned if you have a friend in the world, that loves you better than I: there is nobody can say I am covetous, or that I have any interest to pursue, but yours.

2d GUARDIAN. There is nothing so plain, as that this Lewis has a design to ruin all his neighbouring tradesmen; and at this time he has such a prodigious income, by his trade of all kinds, that if there is not some stop put to his exorbitant riches, he will monopolize every thing: nobody will be able to sell a yard of drapery or mercery-ware but himself. I then hold it adviseable, that you continue the lawsuit, and burst him at once. My concern for the three poor motherless children, obliges me to give you this advice for their estates, poor girls! depend upon the success of this cause.

3d GUARDIAN. I own this writ of ejectment has cost dear; but then consider it is a jewel well worth the purchasing at the price of all you have. None but Mr. Bull's declared enemies can say, he has any other security for his clothing trade, but the ejectment of lord Strutt. The only question then that remains to be decided, is, who shall stand the expenses of the suit? To which the answer is as plain; who but he, that is to have the advantage of the sentence? When esquire South has got possession of his title and honour, is not John Bull to be his clothier? Who, then, but John, ought to put him in possession? Ask but any indifferent gentleman, who ought to bear his charges at law? and he will readily answer, his tradesmen. I do therefore affirm, and I will go to death with it, that, being his clothier, you ought to put him in quiet possession of his estate, and, with VOL. XVII. N

the

the same generous spirit you have begun it, complete the good work. If you persist in the bad measures you are now in, what must become of the three poor orphans? My heart bleeds for the poor girls.

JOHN BULL. You are all very eloquent persons; but give me leave to tell you, you express a great deal more concern for the three girls than for me; I think my interest ought to be considered in the first place. As for you, Hocus, I can't but say you have managed my lawsuit with great address, and much to my honour; and though I say it, you have been well paid for it. Why must the burden be taken off Frog's back, and laid upon my shoulders? He can drive about his own parks and fields in his gilt chariot, when I have been forced to mortgage my estate: his note will go farther than my bond. Is it not matter of fact, that, from the richest tradesman in all the country, I am reduced to beg and borrow from scriveners and usurers, that suck the heart, blood, and guts out of me? and what is all this for? Did you like Frog's countenance better than mine? Was not I your old friend and relation? Have I not presented you nobly? Have I not clad your whole family? Have you not had a hundred yards at a time of the finest cloth in my shop? Why must the rest of the tradesmen be not only indemnified from charges, but forbid to go on with their own business, and what is more their concern than mine? As to holding out this term, I appeal to your own conscience, has not that been your constant discourse these six years, "one "term more, and old Lewis goes to pot." If thou art so fond of my cause, be generous for once, and lend me a brace of thousands. Ah Hocus! Hocus! I know thee; not a sous to save me from gaol, I

trow.

trow. Look ye, gentlemen, I have lived with credit in the world, and it grieves my heart, never to stir out of my doors, but to be pulled by the sleeve by some rascally dun or other: "Sir, remember my "bill: there's a small concern of a thousand pounds, "I hope you think on't, sir." And to have these usurers transact my debts at coffeehouses, and alehouses, as if I were going to break up shop. Lord! that ever the rich, the generous John Bull, clothier, the envy of all his neighbours, should be brought to compound his debts for five shillings in the pound: and to have his name in an advertisement for a statute of bankrupt. The thought of it makes me mad. I have read somewhere in the Apocrypha, that one should "not consult with a woman, touching her of "whom she is jealous; nor with a merchant, con

cerning exchange; nor with a buyer, of selling; "nor with an unmerciful man of kindness, &c." I could have added one thing more, "nor with an at

torney, about compounding a lawsuit." The ejectment of lord Strutt will never do. The evidence is crimp; the witnesses swear backward and forward, and contradict themselves; and his tenants stick by him. One tells me, that I must carry on my suit, because Lewis is poor; another, because he is still too rich whom shall I believe? I am sure of one thing, that a penny in the purse is the best friend John can have at last; and who can say that this will be the last suit I shall be engaged in? Besides, if this ejectment were practicable, is it reasonable, that when esquire South is losing his money to sharpers and pickpockets, going about the country with fiddlers and buffoons, and squandering his income with hawks and dogs, I should lay out the fruits of my ho