MONSIEUR TONSON.

The Frenchman now perceiv'd 'twas all in vain
To this tormenter mildly to complain,

And strait in rage began his crest to rear-
"Sare, vat the devil make you treat me so?
"Sare, I inform you, sare, three nights ago,

35

"Got tam, I swear, no Monsieur Tonson here!"

True as the night, King went, and heard a strife
Between the harrass'd Frenchman and his wife,
Which would descend to chase the fiend away;
At length, to join their forces they agree,
And strait impetuously they turn the key,
Prepar'd with mutual fury for the fray.

Our hero, with the firmness of a rock,
Collected to receive the mighty shock,

Utt'ring the old enquiry, calmly stood-
The name of Thompson rais'd the storm so high,
He deem'd it then the safest plan to fly,

With, "Well, I'll call when you 're in gentler mood."

In short, our hero, with the same intent,
Full many a night to plague the Frenchman went-
So fond of mischief was the wicked wit;
They threw out water-for the watch they call,
But King expecting, still escapes from all--
Monsieur at last was forc'd his house to quit.

It happen'd that our wag, about this time,
On some fair prospect sought the Eastern clime,
Six ling'ring years were there his tedious lot;
At length, content, amid his rip'ning store,
He treads again on Britain's happy shore,
And his long absence is at once forgot.

To London, with impatient hope, he flies,
And the same night, as former freaks arise,

He fain must stroll, the well known haunt to trace; "Ah, here's the scene of frequent mirth" he said, "My poor old Frenchman, I suppose, is dead—

"Egad, I'll knock, and see who holds his place."

1

36

LODGINGS FOR SINGLE GENTLEMEN

With rapid strokes he makes the mansion roar,
And while he eager eyes the op'ning door,
Lo! who obeys the knocker's rattling peal?
Why e'en our little Frenchman, strange to say!
He took his old abode that very day-
Capricious turn of sportive Fortune's wheel!

Without one thought of the relentless foe,
Who, ficnd-like, haunted him so long ago,
Just in his former trim he now appears;
The waistcoat and the night-cap seem'd the same,
With rushlight as before, he creeping came,
And King's detested voice, astonish'd, hears.

As if some hideous spectre struck his sight,
His senses seem'd bewilder'd with affright,

His face, indeed, bespoke a heart full sore-
Then starting, he exclaim'd, in rueful strain,
"Begar! here's Monsieur Tonson come again!"
Away he ran-and ne'er was heard of more!

LODGINGS FOR SINGLE GENTLEMEN.

(COLMAN, JUNIOR.)

WHO has e'er been in London, that overgrown

place,

Has seen Lodgings to Let' stare him full in the face: Some are good, and let dearly; while some, 'tis well known,

Are so dear, and so bad, they are best let alone.

WILL WADDLE, whose temper was studious and
lonely,

Hired lodgings that took Single Gentlemen only;
But Will was so fat he appear'd like a tun;—
Or like two Single Gentlemen, roll'd into One.

LODGINGS FOR SINGLE GENTLEMEN.

37

He enter'd his rooms, and to bed he retreated;
But, all the night long, he felt fever'd, and heated;
And, tho' heavy to weigh, as a score of fat sheep,
He was not, by any means, heavy to sleep.

Next night 'twas the same!-and the next;—and the next;

He perspired like an ox; he was nervous, and vex'd; Week pass'd after week; till by weekly succession, His weakly condition was past all expression.

In six months, his acquaintance began much to doubt him;

For his skin, like a lady's loose gown,' hung about him;

He sent for a Doctor; and cried, like a ninny,* "I have lost many pounds-make we well-there's a guinea."

The Doctor look'd wise:-" a slow fever," he said: Prescribed sudorificks, and going to bed. "Sudorificks in bed, (exclaim'd Will,) are humbugs; "I've enough of them there, without paying for drugs."

WILL kick'd out the Doctor :-but, when ill indeed, F'en dismissing the Doctor don't always succeed; So, calling his host,--he said,--" Sir do you know, "I'm the fat single Gentleman, six months ago?

"Look 'e, landlord, I think," argued Will, with a grin,

"That with honest intentions you first took me in; "But from the first night-and to say it I'm bold"I have been so damn'd hot, that I'm sure I caught

cold,"

Quoth the landlord-" till now, I ne'er had a dispute; "I've let lodgings ten years;-I'm a Baker to boot;

E