the chaise, to return it to the injudicious donor as soon as he should have gotten to his journey's end. The beggar bawled after my Master in vain for some time, calling upon me by all the opprobrious epithets of rascal, thief, &c. &c., which are usually bestowed upon our race by that reasoning animal Man, but at length made the driver hear him. He drew up, and stopped till the crutched applicant, in due observance of his crippled condition, could limp towards him; 1, in the meanwhile, stood by the side of the sha', wagging my tail and looking up, in the hope of being observed; but finding myself not noticed, I laid the halfpenny down between my fore paws. The beggar then told my Master what I had done, and sure enough there was the proof of it; at the same instant the Cripple, as he appeared to be, made a stoop to take up the coin, but I snapped it up, getting out of the reach of the whip, nor did I surrender my prize until my Master had got out of his cart and taken it from between my teeth.*

Now, Mr. Editor, this may appear to you, and many who witnessed the action, as nothing but a pretty frolic of a fetch-and-carry cur; but the fact is, that it was a very great act of sagacity; for you must know, that I had often seen this very begging-fellow lurking about my Master's area in Elbow-lane, and once I detected him in the passage of the Warehouse, in the very nick of time, or he had carried off a small parcel of leather, which was left there by the carelessness of one of the men. I knew the fellow by his face, for he had not then equipped himself with his crutch and red garter binding; and if I had possessed the power of speech, (which, by-the-bye, might as well have been given for the proper use of it, to us Dogs, as to many two-legged Curs, who abuse it every hour in their lives by lies and oaths,) I should have read my master a short lecture on the folly of thus throwing away his property, by the indiscriminate act of giving money to a strolling beggar, who would have gladly taken the opportunity of a less-frequented road to have stopped and robbed him, when the very halfpenny which he thus gave would have kept his faithful Rover in meat for a whole day, not to mention that it might have been saved, and ano, ther put to it, for the truly charitable purpose of furnishing some really deserv

This fact occurred precisely as Rover relates it, in the presence of several persons,

ing poor person with a pennyworth of bread.

As I am a very modest dog, it is with some reluctance that I send you this anecdote of myself; but I have princi pally in view, the justifying of many of these clever things done by our race, upon their true foundation. And, I beg to add, that nine out of ten of our actions, which are degraded by the terms of tricks and pranks, originate in wise reflection, and not merely in the sagacity of instinct; and if we had the faculty of speech, we would convince you of it by as good arguments as any which the most sagacious biped among the naturalists of the day could possibly advance, who descant so acutely upon the various gradations of distinction be tween us Quadrupeds, and our fellowanimal man,

As the Learned Dog is a neighbour of mine, and as we fully understand each other's language, I am indebted to him for making this communication; which if you think it at all worthy a place among the more profound lucubrations of your Correspondents, you will insert it in your next Number, and so oblige my erudite friend and myself, who am an enemy to all arts of fraud and deception, though very much

Your humble Servant, Dated Sept 10, 1818, ROVER. From my Kennel, No. 13, Elbow-lane.

For the EUROPEAN MAGAZINE.
SHORT ACCOUNT of BARTHOLOMEW
FAIR.

F F the three great fairs which were annually held in this metropolis, Bartholomew is the only one remaining. May fair, (which began on May-day), and Southwark, or Lady Fair, have been suppressed a considerable time; and the sonner that, which is the object of our present notice, is consigned to the same oblivion, the greater will be the satisfaction of all peaceable and well dispos ed members of society. It has undeni ably been proved, that its existence is the bane of many, and that more serious evils have arisen during the three days allotted to it, from improper connexions, than the whole year together.

--

Entick in his History of London gives the following account of its origin:"King Henry II. granted to the Priory of St. Bartholomew the privilege of a fair, to be kept here yearly at Bartholo mewtide for three days; viz. the eve, the day, and the morrow; to which the

elothiers of England and drapers of London repaired, and had their booths and standings within the Church-yard of this priory, closed in with walls and gates, locked every night and watched, for the safety of men's goods and wares. A Court of Piepowder was daily during the fair holden for debts and contracts.

The fair kept here, instead of three days, was at length prolonged to a fortnight, and became of little other use than for idle youth and loose people to resort to, and to spend their money in vanity, and (which was worse), in debaucheries, drunkenness, whoredom, and in seeing and hearing things not fit for Christian eyes and ears; many of the houses and booths here serving only to allure men and women to such purposes of impiety. Therefore, the magistracy often intending, at last fully resolved, in the year 1708, to reduce the fair to that space of time only according to which it was at first granted, that is to three days; and accordingly an order was made: and at a Court of Common Council in June the said year, the order was confirmed; whereby the fair was to be kept for three days only, for selling of merchandizes, according to the original grant from the crown, which regulation, though it has been sometimes broke, the chief magistrate of late years has strictly observed.”

How very materially the purposes of its institution have been altered in the process of time, will appear from the following account given by Stowe: "Hereabouts and in Smithfield at Bartholomew Tide, is the ancient fair kept that borrows its name thence, Bartholomew Fair; although, by the original grant, it ought to be kept but three days, yet, for many years, it was kept 14 days, rather connived at than allowed, for the sake of the benefit that accrues from it. Each that hath a booth there paying so much a foot every day during the three first days. It was most considerable for the sale of cloths, stuffs, pewter, and live cattle, but now is only used in recreation; viz. to see drolls, farces, rope-dancing, feats of activity, wonderful and monstrous creatures, wild beasts made tame, giants, dwarfs,

&c. &c."

In 1694, owing to the frequent remonstrances of the corporation, arising from no limited time being stated in the charter of King Charles ist, and which afforded a pretext for its continuation to 14 days, a proclamation was issued in the Gazette by order of the lord

mayor and a Court of Aldermen, giving notice that it would be kept for three days only. This, however, appears to have been ineffectual; for three years after the grand jury of the City of London represented the fair as a nuisance, and complained of its being extended beyond three days, and permitting ob scene plays and interludes. In 1708, the Court of Common Council prayed that it might be limited to three days; and in 1735, the Court of Aldermen resolved that it should only be held three days; viz. the 23d, 24th, and 25th August, and that only stalls and booths be erected for the sale of goods, &c. usually sold in fairs, and no acting to be permitted.

In 1750, a petition was presented by above a hundred graziers, salesmen, &c. against erecting booths for exhibiting shows during the fair, "as not only annoying the graziers and salesmen, and disturbing the inhabitants in the exer cise of their callings, but giving the profligate and abandoned, of both sexes, opportunity to debauch the innocent, defraud the unwary, and endanger the public peace." That this is a true character of this scene of riot and misrule, at the present day, must be admitted, notwithstanding the exertions of the city to regulate it; one thing, however, might be done; it might still be shortened, for it now continues four days; viz. the eve, Bartholomew's day, and the two days following, although the original grant and subsequent charters limit it to the "eve, the day, and the next morrow."

It would form matter of astonishment to many of our readers, as well as regret, were it possible to trace the numer ous evils arising from this annual absurdity, for such it has at length become. It is undoubtedly the greatest scene of depravity in state of recreation to be found any where. Could its influence die with it, animadversion would be un necessary; but the many youths that have been entrapped into the worst of company, and the servants of families who have been seduced and ruined, call loudly for the extinction of an institution which, though reported to be of great advantage to the city, by the rent of the standings, is nevertheless too fatal to the morality of a great class of society to be encouraged. Let us hope, that like its former contemporaries, it will one day, (and that shortly), he suf, fered to sleep in the same oblivion.

K.

assured me that the characters resem bled the most ancient Greek, and were a part of our own Septuagint translation of the sacred Book. This and various testimonies of their hospitality induced us to send back one of our party to the cove where the ship remained, there to notify our adventure. Our deputy returned with information that our stay must not exceed forty-eight hours, as the circular recess we had thus discovered in the bosom of the ice promised no farther inlet into this desolate country, and our voyage could not be longer delayed. Believe me, my dear friend, for you know my physiological zeal, I employed these hours most assiduously and as circumstances must be reserved till I write in a warmer climate, you must content yourself with such extracts from my journal as relate to important facts.

The amusements of this singular people bear a very remarkable affinity to ours: an affinity which proves, notwithstanding the opinions of Messrs. Buffon, De Luc, and Cuvier, that language is by no means a necessary conveyance and accompaniment of social feeling. For during our short stay there, we witnessed what was considered a festive meeting, to which all the members of this colony (called by our learned friend the Neonousites) were summoned by our conductor, the ape beforementioned, who seemed instructed to act the part of master of the cere monies. And here it is proper to observe, for the information of naturalists, that his surface or skin, which bad first attracted us by its dazzling colours, was embellished by paint, as indeed were the faces of all our new acquaintance. The male inhabitants, for we saw no difference in attire or manner in any, wore broad and rigid belts made of the whale's integuments, and cassocks of bear's-skin; but we, being aware of the intended festivity, obtained from our ship a supply of bonnets with abundant feathers for the gentlemen, and sundry long skirts richly brocaded for the ladies; I grieve for the honour of our sex to add, the former chose the largest half. The assembly met in three apartments constructed round one of the hot-wells, or boiling springs as naturalists call them; and we learned from these people's written institutes, that the whole pleasure and business of the assembly consisted in striving how to increase and endure the

intolerable heat. It is true there were several erections of green sod, and I could not avoid admiring with what ingenuity these colonists have taught certain black foxes, and an equal number of elegantly shaped creatures called amicas, or fair marmosetts as we name them in Asia, to throw pieces of spotted shells at each other for the amusement of the spectators. And dances very much resembling our European waltzes and quadrilles were performed by the black beavers and young moose-deer, whose slow gait and fantastical bounds were often pleasantly contrasted; and well exemplified the thought of that wise ambassador, who asked, when he saw our dances, if we had no servants or tame animals to perform such labours for us. But the most remarkable particular, and the most strikingly similar to English society, was, that all the rational animals being dumb, the abovementioned foxes and marmoselts were instructed to make an agreeable and constant murmur, which marvellously resembled the indistinct congregation of sounds heard at a metropolitan fête. I must not omit to add, that this murmur or buz was most marked when two or three birds placed there on purpose began to sing or scream. They seemed to be birds of the gull species.

But another circumstance claimed peculiar notice from us, as philosophers no less intent on moral than physical discoveries. This colony of Neonousites has schools for the instruction of females, but you will start to hear that young children are employed to give lessons to the old. In this remote region, probably because the aged are supposed to lose their faculties in these stupifying and incessant frosts, the young employ themselves in tutoring and disciplining their parents. Those unhappy creatures who have offspring labour unremittingly in sawing fir and striving to rear fruits or harvests, whilst their children spend fifteen or sixteen years in learning how to slide down a hill of ice with feathers on their heads and empty shells in their hands. Yet there is one particular which manifests some discretion and decorum. Their most beautiful females always sit within a door guarded by a tough thick web, which, when taken out, resembles a leathern purse. And they have also a door with hinges like the valves of an oyster or muscle, which opens and shuts if the metal which touches it is magnetic.

I request you to communicate this fact to the members of our college, and urge them to consider its resemblance to what we know of the great South American spider, so celebrated for the strength of its nets. Their marriages are whimsically metaphorical. The bride stands on a pyramid of snow, and the bridegroom on one of smoking ashes. If the melting of the snow quenches the heat, or if the embers cease to burn . before the snow dissolves, the omen is considered unprosperous. But if they decrease in the same proportion, it is an augury of happiness;* and as both parties are dumb, I suppose there are no provisions for alimony or separate maintenance. Courtships for the same reason are managed with becoming brevity, and not much deception; but I specially admired the allotment of time for weeping at a funeral. It lasts precisely as long as the mourner can count a hundred pieces of copper coin into his purse.

Being dumb, you will easily suppose, no lawyers are requisite; but the profession flourishes notwithstanding this obstacle. If any person considers himself robbed or aggrieved, he applies to one or two persons called the civilians of this colony; and as eloquence is unknown here, a blind fox is brought into their court of justice, and that advocate is deemed most skilful who can make him drink through the longest straw. Another and apter way of deciding a suit is this. The judge drops two oysters on, the heads of the plaintiff and defendant, and he whose head is hard enough to crack the shell, is pronounced victo rious. But if the case is not decided in twelve months, the parties' attornies are publicly whipped-a practice which might be useful in Europe. The same chastisement is inflicted on physicians when their patients die. One of the rarest and most pleasant peculiarities among these people is, that they never absolutely die. The funeral ceremonies are performed during a man's last illness, that he may enjoy the pomp of these honours; but he is not interred, and his physiciaus, when the breath of life has forsaken him, perform certain operations similar to our galvanic battery, and excite the muscular system so powerfully, that though the intellectual

* This seems a relic of the Jewish tradition, that a wife's proper Hebrew name ignifies water, and her husband's fire.

spirit is gone, he is fully capable of the employments most usual here. I do not find that they take this trouble with their wives when defunct; but as the petrifying power of this keen air acts speedily on the lifeless frame, their deceased beauties are soon converted into statues, which are splendidly attired in feathers and cockle-shells, and, being duly painted, fill their former places in public assemblies with great effect, and can hardly be distinguished from the living.

Their household arrangements deserve attention and imitation even in Europe. Knowing the fatigue of regulating human domestics by precept or example, they have availed themselves of that surprising instinct which may be called reason without will in animals. Therefore they employ the large shaggy dog peculiar to northern lands as their porter and errand-carrier; and his fidelity far surpasses any biped's employed in that capacity. The beaver, so skilled in heaping up or carrying timber, is their ordinary household drudge; and as fish is the principal article of their diet, a number of tanie pelicans act as clerks of the kitchen. It is really admirable to observe with what quietness and expedition these purveyors perform their duty, and sometimes rob each other's pouches with an alacrity altogether human. As the custom I am going to mention is not much unlike one which now prevails in civilized nations, you will not refuse to believe that mothers in this colony abandon their offspring in their infancy and childhood. They employ a set of sleek handsome animals, of the tiger-cat or hyæna species, to nurse and rear their children during the first six or seven years; an office which they are apt to execute with all the capricious cruelty of their nature; but the parents have an idea, that as human creatures are sure to deserve chastisement in some part of their lives, it is wisest and most safe to give them an ample sufliciency at first. Notwithstanding the ungracious habits and unkindness of their nurses, these children acquire all their subtle instincts, and especially a remarkable fondness for dress; as one of the whims of this colony is to equip its domestic animals in the utmost finery; and we were highly amused when we were waited upon at dinner by a white bear in a coat and hat which we had given his master; and saw the pelican-cook strutting in a bonnet of