refuge in the Poultry or Cripplegate; watchmakers might ply their art in Seven-Dials; thieves should be tethered in the Steel-yard: all the Jews should be restored to the Old Jewry, and the Quakers should assemble in Hatton-garden.

Chancery-lane, which would of course be appropriated to the suitors of that court, should by no means terminate in Fleet-street, but be extended to Labour-in-vain-hill in one direction, and to Long-lane in the other. Members of Parliament, according to their politics, might settle themselves either upon Constitution-hill or in Rotten-row. I am aware, that if we wish to establish a perfect conformity between localities and tenants, we must considerably diminish Goodman's-fields, and proportionally enlarge Knave'sacre; but the difficulty of completing a measure is no argument against its partial adoption.

In what may be denominated our external or shopkeepers' literature, the Society will find innumerable errors to rectify. Where he who runs may read, correctness and propriety are peculiarly necessary, and we all know how much good was effected by the French Academy of Inscriptions. Having, in my late perambulations through London, noted down what appeared to me particularly reprehensible, and thrown the various addresses of the parties into an appendix, in order that your secretary may write to them with such emendatory orders as the case may require,-I proceed to notice, first, the fantastical practice of writing the number over the door, and the names on either side, whence we have such ridiculous

inscriptions as "BOVILL and-127-Boys," which would lead us to suppose that the aforesaid Mr. Bovill's tailor's bill must be of alarming longitude, though perhaps less terrific than that of his opposite neighbour, who writes up-" THACKRAH and-219-SONS."

Not less objectionable is the absurd practice of writing the name over the door, and the trade on either side, whence we have such incongruous combinations as "Hat-CHILD-maker,”- "Cheese HOARE monger;" and a variety of others, of which the preceding will afford a sufficient sample.

Among those inscriptions where the profession follows the name without any transposition, there are several that are perfectly appropriate, if not synonymous, such as "BLIGHT & SON, Blind-makers:"

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Mangling done here," occasionally written under the address of a country surgeon:-" BREWER, Druggist," "WRENCH, Tooth-drawer," "SLOMAN, Wine-merchant,"-" WATERS, Milkman," &c. &c.But on the contrary, there are many that involve a startling catachresis, such as "WHETMAN, Drysalter,"-" ENGLISH, China-man,"-" PAIN, Rectifier of Spirits,"" STEDFAST, Turner," "GOWING, Staymaker;" while among the colours there is the most lamentable confusion, as we have "WHITE, Blacksmith,"-" BLACK, Whitesmith,"-" BROWN & SCARLET, Green-grocers," and "GREY-Hairdresser," which would erroneously lead the passenger to suppose, that none but grizzled heads were admitted into the shop. While remedying these inconsistencies, the Society are entreated not to forget, that the Pave

use,

ment now extends a full mile beyond what is still termed "The Stones' End" in the Borough; and that the inscription at Lower Edmonton, "When the water is above this board, please to take the upper road," can be of unless when the wash is perlittle very fectly pellucid, which it never is. On a shop-window in the Borough there still remains written, "New-laid eggs every day, by Mary Dobson," which the Society should order to be expunged, as an imposition upon the public, unless they can clearly ascertain the veracity of the assertion.

One of the declared objects of the Institution being the promotion of—" loyalty in its genuine sense, not only of personal devotion to the sovereign, but of attachment to the laws and institutions of our country," I would point out to its indignant notice the following inscription in High Holborn-" KING-Dyer," which is not only contrary to the received legal maxim that the King never dies, but altogether of a most dangerous and disloyal tendency.-" Parliament sold here," written up in large letters in the City-road, is also an obvious allusion to the imputed corruption of that body; and the gingerbread kings and queens at the same shop being all over gilt, suggest a most traitorous and offensive Paronomasia. I suspect the fellow who deals in these commodities to be a radical. Of the same nature are the indecorous inscriptions (which should have been noticed among those who place their names over the door) running thus, "Ironmongery-PARSONS-Tools of all sorts;" while in London-wall we see written up, "DEACON &

PRIEST, Hackneymen." A Society, which among the twenty-seven published names of its council and officers, contains one Bishop, two Archdeacons, and five Reverends, cannot, out of self-respect, suffer these indecent allusions to be any longer stuck up in the metropolis.

The French Academy having decided, that proper names should never have any plural, I would implore the Royal Literary Society to relieve the embarrassment of our footmen, by deciding whether they are authorized in announcing at our routs, " Mr. & Mrs. FOOT and the Miss FEET;" whether Mr. PEACOCK'S family are to be severally designated as Mrs. PEAHEN and the Miss PEACHICKS; and also what would be the best substitution for Mr. and Mrs. MAN and the Miss MEN, which has a very awkward sound.

Concluding, for the present, with the request that the other gold medal of fifty guineas may not be appropriated until after the receipt of my second letter, I have the honour to be, &c. &c. &c.

ANGLO-GALLIC SONG.

The Exposition at the Louvre.

BEHOLD how each Gallic improver, in science, mechanics, and

arts,

As he roams the Bazaar of the Louvre, snuffs, shrugs up his shoulders, and starts;

Mon Dieu!- c'est superbe-magnifique !—les Anglois euxmêmes diront cela

O Ciel! comme c'est charmant-unique!-L'Angleterre est mise hors de combat

And it's oh! what will become of her? Dear! what will she do?

England has no manufactures to rival the wonders we view. Here is a patent marmite pour perfectionner pumpion soup— The Gods on Olympus complete-tout en sucre—a classical group;

Quatre flacons de produits chimiques—a clarified waxen bougie,
A Niobe after the Greek, and the Grotto of Pan-en bisquit.
And it's oh! &c.

Voilà des chapeaux sanitaires with a jalousie cut in the hold,
To let in a current of air, and give hot-headed people a cold;
Six irons with which boots are heel'd, so no modern Achilles
miscarries,

For he now gets his tendon a shield where the Greek got an arrow-from Paris.

And it's oh! &c.

A ham and a head of wild boar in a permanent jelly suspended, Cinq modèles de chaises inodores pour un cabinet d'aisance in

tended;

The elixir term'd odontalgique, which can stubbornest toothachs control,

Et les poupées parlantes which can squeak "papa! and mamma!"-comme c'est drole!

And it's oh! &c.

For heads without ringlets or laurel, Regnier fashions wigs like a wreath,

While Desirabode cuts out of coral false gums and unperishing

teeth;

Here's a lady in wax large as life, with all the blonde lace she can stick to,

And an actual Paris-made knife which will cut-O mirabile

dictu!

And it's oh! &c.