Rur. I-I ran away, because, you see, explain was just the thing I couldn't do.

Lit. [Aside.] He is in the dark still; 'twill be safer to keep him so. My dear old friend, 'tis all a freak, a—a— Rur. Ah! ah! come, now, you are at some of your old tricks-oh! oh! I know you are!

Lit. We have planned a surprise, by which the old colonel and the earl will find that our young hearts have outmanœuvred their old heads-but 'tis a secret.

Rur. Oh, let me into it!

Lit. When the colonel arrives, and discovers Roebuck, he may storm a little.

Rur. What for? have I not his orders that

use his carriage?

Lit. You will never mind his temper.

Rur. Not a bit, ha! ha!

Lit. The earl may possibly be annoyed

you should

Rur. Annoyed!—he'll be enraged!-ha! ha!-he said he would, oho! and you-now, this is all your plot, you rogue, you know it is, isn't it?

Lit. It is-but hush! here they come-leave us.

Rur. Oh, you wild, mischievous dog-oh, just what you were, when you played me those tricks in the poultry yard; when, ha! ha! you tied a gcsling to my coat tail. and when I walked off, the gander was nearly the death of me-oh! ha! ha! ha! you villain!

Lit. But go, I beseech.

Rur. [Going, returns.] And, that fifth of November too, when

Lit. I remember, there—

Rur. A squib in my snuff-box-oh, you little rogue, bless you! oh! a squib in my snuff-box!

oh!

[Exit behind house, R., chuckling, Lit. And bless you, for the simplest, kindest soul alive. [Littleton goes up, R. C.

Enter from the house, R., LADY ALICE HAWTHOorn, with a newspaper, and MISS ROCKET, followed by ROEBUCK.

Roe. But hear me.

Lady A. Not a word-here's a fine catastrophe to your clever intrigues! here's an exposée-I shouldn't wonder if they put the whole affair into a novel, or on the stage,

Fancy my follies published in penny numbers, with illustrations; or your blunders enjoying a run at the Haymarket. Bah!-I could laugh my life out at you both, if I wasn't mad with rage.

Lit. But my dearest

Lady A. No, sir, you have precluded the possibility of my ever being so

Lit. Charles, what does this mean?

Roe. Hang me if I know. I have only been here a few minutes, but I found them both fulminating over that Post.

Kate. Do you pretend ignorance, my lord?

Lady A. Listen-you precious intriguers, listen :[Reads.] "Express.-Elopement in high life.-Enormous fortune won by a young barrister.- We understand, from the best authority, that an elopement took place last night from the opera. The imprudent pair are—. - Mr. Littleton Coke, of qui tam celebrity, and the great heiress, Miss Rocket-whose fortune is said to exceed 20,000l. a-year."

Lit. The idiots-what could have caused

Kate. Go on.

Lady A. "Second edition-extraordinary express—another elopement in high life. Last night, the young and eccentric Lady Alice Hawthorn, whose meteoric course through the fashionable world has been greeted with such admiration, eloped from Lord Pompion's house, with her cousin, Lord Charles Roebuck. It is stated, one of the parties rode postillion; our authority omits to mention which." Lit. The dolts by what mistake could this have happened?

:

Lady A. By none.

Roe. How?

Lady A. 'Tis true.

Roe. & Lit. How! true!

Kate. Quite.

Lady A. You thought to outwit me and the old people--and thus you set about it. [To Coke.] The lady, before whom you spurred and thrashed, sir, was Miss Rocket; [To Roebuck,] and the humble individual who admired your equitation for three hours, was your obliged servant. Lit. What! and-I-Miss-and he-you-eh ! Roe Coke!

Lit. I didn't-I- [They look at each other astonished. Roe. Oh! but surely this mysterious blunder is not so serious-it can be mended by

Lady A. What, sir-when all London know that my cousin ran away with-or rather, they don't know which of us ran away with the other-ah! you wretch! and in the middle of the night, too-and-no—I must marry Charley after all! [Crosses to Roebuck, and cries.

Kate. And you-sir-you-
Lit. I suppose I must marry you, then, after all.
Lady A. And all your cunning to outwit the

has just effected their purposes.

governors

Roe. But Kate-surely-you will not, by marrying him to save your character, condemn yourself to eternal misery?

Lit. [Crosses to Roebuck.] Eternal what, sir? let me tell you, my lord, that this is your fault, your blunderhad I been there, 1

Roe. Mine, sir, mine!

Lit. Yes, your's.

Roe. 'Tis false, sir.

Lit. False! very well, my lord.

Roe. I repeat, sir, that—

Lit. Enough, the word suffices; but for this presence, I feel you would have substituted a stronger term, but― [They speak apart as they go up, R. Kate. My dear Alice, they are quarrelling. Lady A. No!

Kate. They are. I've seen so many men do it-I know it in a minute they'll fight.

Lady A. A duel, and on our account! no more is required to complete our destruction. Mr. Coke-Charles

will you listen? [Lord Roebuck goes up.] There's nothing so like a mad bull as a man in a rage. CharlesMr. Coke, you shall not quarrel; you have not the excuse of a long dinner; will you hear me?

Roe. I repeat, that it was his trusting to Mr. Rural that has caused this dreadful catastrophe-and to prove it, I will find him. [Exit into house, R.

Lit. Rural, could it—it is. Oh, my folly and weakness! Why did I entrust so dear a confidence to him? he must exonerate me from this fatal blunder-where shall I find

him? [Goes up, meets Stripe, who is crossing-speaks in dumb show. Stripe points L. Exit Littleton Coke, R and Stripe, L.

Kate. Alice, dear, what's to be done?

Lady A. They must not fight, because we can't spare either of them.

Kate. But, do you-do you think, dear, we shall have to-to-exchange them?

Lady A. I don't know, love; but it's very likely; I never was run away with before: but, I believe, people in such predicaments always do marry, dear, if they can.[A distant gun.] What's that?

Enter STRIPE, l.

Stripe. Ready, guard, the Colonel comes-that's the signal

Kate. Oh, Alice, I dare not meet him.

Lady A. And I am ashamed!

Rock. [Outside.] Guard

Kate. Here, in this pagoda.

Quick!

[They enter the pagoda, R.

Enter COLONEL ROCKET, L., followed by Toм COкe, Lord POMPION, and LADY POMPION.

Rock. So! good! guard, turn in. [Exeunt the men, L.] Stripe!

Stripe. Colonel!

[Crosses to R.

Rock. [With suppressed rage.] The reports?

Stripe. Nothing, sir, particular, till past two this morning.

Rock. And then

Stripe. Two carriages arrived half an hour apart.
Rock. Whom did they contain?

Stripe. The first, Miss Rocket, and an old gentleman, in the last, only a lady.

Lady P. My niece! I knew that girl would come to some shocking end.

Tom. But she was alone.

Stripe. Alone !

Tom. [Aside.] There's a sovereign for you.

Rock. Stripe-dismiss. [Stripe salutes and exit, L.They all look at each other,

Tom. [Aside.] I feel as if my heart was returned to my body. [Retires up stage. Lord P. Calm yourself, my dear Colonel-observe my imperturbability. Your daughter has, unfortunately, eloped with her own groom; a buzz-three days' amusing variations of the story, and it is forgotten. Perhaps you will be kind enough to tell my niece that we await her here.

Rock. As for the rascally footboy, I'll kick him into Chodah-Kate will keep, but let me only catch that old intriguer. Excuse me, your ladyship till I've found him I'm not fit to play the host. [Goes into the house, R. Lady P. Where can Charles be?

Lord P. I heard the shouts as we passed-perhaps they are chairing him.

Lady P. Mr. Coke, favour me with your arm-the excitement has quite unnerved me.

[Tom and Lady Pompion go up, and into the house, R. Lord P. 'Tis done-they are wedded-I'm sure of it. Enter LORD ROEBUCK, R.

Roe. Where can this old-my father!

Lord P. Charles, or is it a—

Roe. Of course, my lord, you have discovered all—if not, I am not in the vein to deceive you longer.

Lord P. What do you mean?

Roe. That to achieve the hopes of my heart, I was induced to assume the disguise in which we met last night. Lord P. Then you were

Roe. The groom to Miss Rocket.

Lord P. And you are-are married to her?

Roe, I-I

Lord P. Don't speak, sir-I know-I've been duped, and by my own son, Lord Charles! what excuse-what -what-Where's that meddling old fellow? This is his doing his work-I'll find him—and let him know the consequences of thwarting a minister of state, and a peer of the realm. [Exit Lord Pompion into house, R. Roe. And I, to show him how his folly has severed two young hearts for ever. [Exit Roebuck into house, R.

Enter RURAL, at the back, R. U. E.

Rur. Bless me, what a run I've had-joy has given me