none of those trifling civilities, fo frequent elfewhere, which are inftances of mutual good-will without previous acquaintance; they travel through the country either too ignorant or too obftinate to cultivate a closer acquaintance, meet every moment fomething to excite their difguft, and return home to characterise this as the region of spleen, infolence, and ill-nature. In fhort, England would be the last place in the world I would travel to by way of amusement; but the firft for inftruction. I would chufe to have others for my acquaintance, but Englishmen for my friends.

THE mind is ever ingenious in making its own diftrefs. The wandering beggar, who has none to protect, to feed, or to fhelter him, fancies complete happiness in labour and a full meal; take him from rags and want, feed, cloath, and employ him, his wishes now rise one step above his ftation; he could be happy were he poffeffed of raiment, food, and eafe. Suppose his wifhes gratified even in these, his profpects widen as he afcends; he finds himself in affluence and tranquillity indeed, but indolence foon breeds anxiety, and he defires not only to be freed from pain, but to be poffeffed of pleafure; pleasure is granted him, and this but opens his foul to ambition, and ambition will be fure to taint his future happiness, either with jealousy, disappointment, or fatigue.

But

But of all the arts of diftrefs found out by man for his own torment, perhaps, that of philofophic mifery is moft truly ridiculous, a paffion no where carried to fo extravagant an excess as in the country where I now refide. It is not enough to engage all the compaffion of a philofopher here, that his own globe is harraffed with wars, peftilence, or barbarity, he fhall grieve for the inhabitants of the moon, if the fituation of her imaginary mountains happen to alter; and dread the extinction of the fun, if the fpots on his furface happen to increafe: one fhould imagine, that philofophy was introduced to make men happy; but here it ferves to make hundreds miferable.

My landlady fome days ago brought me the diary of a philofopher of this defponding fort, who had lodged in the apartment before me. It contains the hiftory of a life, which feems to be one continued tiffue of forrow, apprehenfion, and diftrefs. A fingle week will serve as a fpecimen of the whole.

Monday. In what a tranfient decaying fituation are we placed, and what various reafons does philofophy furnish to make mankind unhappy! A fingle grain of muftard fhall continue to produce its fimilitude through numberlefs fucceffions; yet what has been granted to this little feed has been denied to our planetary fyftem; the muftard-feed is ftill unaltered, but the fyftem is growing old, and muft quickly fall to decay. How terrible will it be, when the motions of all the planets have at last become fo irregular as to need repairing, when the moon fhall fall into frightful paroxyfms of alteration, when the earth, deviating from its antient track, and with every other planet forgetting its circular revolutions, fhall become fo eccentric, that unconfined by the laws of fyftem, it fhall fly off into boundless space, to knock against some diftant world, or fall in upon

the

the fun, either extinguishing his light, or burned up by his flames in a moment. Perhaps while I write, this dreadful change is begun. Shield me from univerfal ruin! Yet ideot man laughs, fings, and rejoices in the very face of the fun, and feems no way touched with his fituation.

Tuesday. Went to bed in great distress, awaked and was comforted, by confidering that this change was to happen at fome indefinite time, and therefore, like death, the thoughts of it might easily be borne. But there is a revolution, a fixed determined revolution, which muft certainly come to pafs; yet which, by good fortune, I thall never feel, except in my pofterity. The obliquity of the equator with the ecliptic is now twenty minutes less than when it was obferved two thousand years ago by Piteas. If this be the case, in fix thousand the obliquity will be ftill lefs by an whole degree. This being fuppofed, it is evident, that our earth, as Louville has clearly proved, has a motion, by which the climates muft neceffarily change place, and in the space of about one million of years, England fhall actually travel to the Antarctic pole. I thudder at the change! How fhall our unhappy grandchildren endure the hideous climate! A million of years will foon be accomplished: they are but a moment when compared to eternity; then fhall our charming country, as I may fay, in a moment of time, resemble the hideous wilderness of Nova Zembla.

Wednesday. To-night, by my calculation, the long predicted comet is to make its firft appearance. Heavens, what terrors are impending over our little dim fpeck of earth! Dreadful vifitation! Are we to be fcorched in its fires, or only fmothered in the vapour of its tail? That is the queftion! Thoughtless

mortals,

mortals, go build houfes, plant orchards, purchase eftates, for to-morrow you die. But what if the comet fhould not come? That would be equally fatal. Comets are fervants which periodically return to fupply the fun with fuel. If our fun therefore fhould be disappointed of the expected supply, and all his fuel be in the mean time burnt out, he muft expire like an exhausted taper. What a miserable fituation muft our earth be in without his enlivening ray! Have we not feen feveral neighbouring funs entirely difappear? Has not a fixed star near the tail of the Ram lately been quite extinguished?

Thursday. The comet has not yet appeared; I am forry for it: firft, forry because my calculation is false; fecondly, sorry left the fun should want fuel 1; thirdly, forry left the wits fhould laugh at our erroneous predictions; and fourthly, forry because if it appears to-night, it must neceffarily come within the fphere of the earth's attraction; and Heaven help the unhappy country on which it happens to fall.

Friday. Our whole fociety have been out all eager in fearch of the comet. We have feen not lefs than fixteen comets in different parts of the heavens. However, we are unanimously refolved to fix upon one only to be the comet expected. That near Virgo wants nothing but a tail to fit it out completely for terreftrial admiration.

Saturday. The moon is I find at her old pranks. Her appulfes, librations, and other irregularities indeed amaze me. My daughter too is this morning gone off with a grenadier. No way furprizing. I was never able to give her a relifh for wifdom. She ever promifed to be a mere expletive in the creation. But the moon, the moon gives me real

un

uneafinefs; I fondly fancied I had fixed her. I had thought her conftant, and conftant only to me; but every night difcovers her infidelity, and proves me a defolate and abandoned lover. Adieu.

LETTER XCII.

TO THE SAME.

IT is furprifing what an influence titles shall have upon the mind, even though thefe titles be of our own making. Like children we drefs up the puppets in finery, and then stand in astonishment at the plaftic wonder. I have been told of a rat-catcher here, who strolled for a long time about the villages near town, without finding any employment; at last however he thought proper to take the title of his Majefty's rat-catcher in ordinary, and this fucceeded beyond his expectations; when it was known that he caught rats at court, all were ready to give him countenance and employment.

But of all the people, they who make books feem most perfectly fenfible of the advantage of titular dignity. All feem convinced, that a book written by vulgar hands, can neither inftruct nor improve'; none but Kings, Chams, and Mandarines can write with any probability of fuccefs. If the titles inform me right, not only Kings and Courtiers, but Emperors themselves in this country periodically fupply the prefs.

A man here who fhould write, and honeftly confess that he wrote for bread, might as well fend his manuscript to fire the baker's oven; not one creature