nip; Turnip against Dung, was now the univerfal cry; neck and neck; one rode lighter, but the other had more judgment. I could not but particularly obferve the ardour with which the fair sex efpoufed the cause of the different riders on this occafion; one was charmed with the unwashed beauties. of Dung; another was captivated with the patibulary afpect of Turnip; while in the mean time unfortunate gloomy Duft, who came whipping behind, was cheared by the encouragements of fome, and pity of all. The contention now continued for fome time, without a poffibility of determining to whom Victory defigned the prize. The winning poft appeared in view, and he who drove the turnip cart affured himself of fuccefs; and fuccefsful he might have been, had his horfe been as ambitious as he; but upon approaching a turn from the road, which led homewards, the horfe fairly ftood ftill, and refused to move a foot farther. The dung cart had fcarcely time to enjoy this temporary triumph, when it was pitched headlong into a ditch by the way-fide, and the rider left to wallow in congenial mud. Duft in the mean time foon came up, and not being far from the poft, came in amidst the fhouts and acclamations of all the spectators, and greatly careffed by all the quality of Brentford. Fortune was kind only to one, who ought to have been favourable to all; each had peculiar merit, each laboured hard to earn the prize, and each richly deferved the cart he drove. I do not know whether this defcription may not have anticipated that which I intended giving of Newmarket. I am told there is little elfe to be feen even there. There may be fome minute differences in the dress of the fpectators, but none at all in their understandings; the quality of Brentford are as remarkable for politenets and delicacy, as the breeders of Newmarket. The quality of Brentford drive their own carts, and the honourable fraternity of Newmarket ride their own horses. In fhort, the matches in one place are as rational as thofe in the other; and it is more than probable, that turnips, duft, and dung are all that can be found to furnish out defcription in either. Forgive me, my friend, but a perfon like me, bred up in a philofophic feclufion, is apt to regard, perhaps with too much afperity, thofe occurrences which fink man below his ftation in nature, and diminish the intrinfic value of humanity. LETTER LXXXVI. From Fum Hoam to Lien Chi Altangi. You tell me the people of Europe are wife; but where lies their wifdom? You fay they are valiant too; yet I have fome reasons to doubt of their valour. They are engaged in war among each other, yet apply to the Ruffians, their neighbours and ours, for affiftance. Cultivating fuch an alliance argues at once imprudence and timidity. All fubfidies paid for fuch an aid is ftrengthening the Ruffians, already too powerful, and weakening the employers, already exhausted by inteftine commotions. I cannot avoid beholding the Ruffian empire as the natural enemy of the more Western parts of Europe; as an enemy already poffeffed of great ftrength, and, from the nature of the government, every day threatening to become more powerful. This extenfive empire, which, both in Europe and Afia, occupies al moft moft a third of the old world, was, about two centuries ago, divided into feparate kingdoms and dukedoms, and from fuch a divifion confequently feeble. Since the times, however, of Johan Bafilides, it has increased in strength and extent; and thofe untrodden forefts, thofe innumerable favage animals which formerly covered the face of the country, are now removed, and colonies of mankind planted in their room. A kingdom thus enjoying peace internally, poffeffed of an unbounded extent of dominion, and learning the military art at the expence of others abroad, muft every day grow more powerful; and it is probable, we shall hear Ruffia, in future times, as formerly, called the Officina Gentium. It was long the wifh of Peter, their great monarch, to have a fort in fome of the Western parts of Europe; many of his fchemes and treaties were directed to this end, but happily for Europe he failed in them all. A fort in the power of this people would be like the poffeffion of a flood-gate; and whenever ambition, intereft, or neceffity prompted, they might then be able to deluge the whole Weftern world with a barbarous inundation. Believe me, my friend, I cannot fufficiently contemn the politicians of Europe, who thus make this powerful people arbitrators in their quarrel. The Ruffians are now at that period between refinement and barbarity, which feems moft adapted to military atchievement, and if once they happen to get footing in the Western parts of Europe, it is not the feeble efforts of the fons of effeminacy and diffention, that can ferve to remove them. The fertile valley and foft climate will ever be fufficient inducements to draw whole myriads from their native defarts, the trackless wild, or fnowy mountain. Hiftory, experience, reafon, nature expand the book of wisdom before the eyes of mankind, but they they will not read. We have feen with terror a winged phalanx of famished locufts each fingly contemptible, but from multitude become hideous, cover, like clouds, the face of day, and threaten the whole world with ruin. We have feen them fettling on the fertile plains of India and Egypt, deftroying in an inftant the labours and the hopes of nations; fparing neither the fruit of the earth nor the verdure of the fields, and changing into a frightful defert landfcapes of once luxuriant beauty. We have feen myriads of ants iffuing together from the Southern defert, like a torrent whose fource was inexhauftible, fucceeding each other without end, and renewing their deftroyed forces with unwearied perfeverance, bringing defolation wherever they came, banishing men and animals, and, when deftitute of all fubfiftence, in heaps infecting the wildernefs which they had made! Like thefe have been the migrations of men. When as yet favage, and alinoft refembling their brute partners in the forest, fubject like them only to the inftincts of Nature, and directed by hunger alone in the choice of an abode, how have we feen whole armies ftarting wild at once from their forefts and their dens; Goths, Huns, Vandals, Saracens, Turks, Tartars, myriads of men, animals in human form, without country, without name, without laws, out-powering by numbers all oppofition, ravaging cities, overturning empires, and, after having deftroyed whole nations, and fpread extenfive defolation, how have we feen them fink oppreffed by fome new enemy, more barbarous and even more unknown than they! Adieu LETTER From Lien Chi Altangi, to Fum Hoam, first Prefident of the Ceremonial Academy at Pekin, in China. As the inftruction of the fair fex in this country is entirely committed to the care of foreigners, as their language-mafters, mufic-mafters, hair-frizzers, and governeffes, are all from abroad, I had fome intentions of opening a female academy myself, and made no doubt, as I was quite a foreigner, of meeting a favourable reception. In this I intended to inftruct the ladies in all the conjugal myfteries; wives fhould be taught the art of managing hufbands, and maids the fkill of properly chufing them; I would teach a wife how far The might venture to be fick without giving difguft; fhe fhould be acquainted with the great benefits of the cholic in the ftomach, and all the thorough-bred infolence of fafhion; maids fhould learn the fecret of nicely diftinguifhing every competitor; they fhould be able to know the difference between a pedant and a scholar, a citizen and a prig, a squire and his horse, a beau and his monkey; but chiefly they should be taught the art of managing their fmiles, from the contemptuous fimper to the long laborious laugh. But I have difcontinued the project; for what would fignify teaching ladies the manner of governing or chufing husbands, when marriage is at prefent fo much out of fashion, that a lady is very well off, who can get any hufband at all. Celibacy now prevails in every rank of life, the ftreets are crouded with old bachelors, and the houses with ladies who have refufed |