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As I was waiting to have my bargains measured and cut, which I know not how, they executed but flowly during the interval, the mercer entertained me with the modern manner of some of the nobility receiving company in their morning gowns; Perhaps, Sir, adds he, you have a mind to Jee what kind of filk is univerfally worn. Without waiting for my reply, he fpreads a piece before me, which might be reckoned beautiful even in China. If the nobility, continues he, were to know I fold this to any under a Right Honourable, I should certainly lose their custom ; you fee, my Lord, it is at once rich, tafley, and quite the thing. I am no Lord, interrupted I.—I beg pardon, cried he, but be pleafed to remember, when you intend buying a morning gown, that you had an offer from me of fomething worth money. Confcience, Sir, confcience is my way of dealing; you may buy a morning gown now, or you may ftay till they become dearer and lefs fashionable, but it is not my business to advise. In fhort, most reverend Fum, he perfuaded me to buy a morning gown alfo, and would probably have perfuaded me to have bought half the goods in his fhop, if I had stayed long enough, or was furnished with fufficient money.

Upon returning home, I could not help reflecting with fome aftonifhment, how this very man with fuch a confined education and capacity, was yet capable of turning me as he thought proper, and moulding me to his inclinations! I knew he was only anfwering his own purposes, even while he attempted to appear folicitous about mine; yet by a voluntary infatuation, a fort of paffion compounded of vanity and good-nature, I walked into the fnare with my eyes open, and put myself to future pain in order to give him immediate pleasure. The wifdom of the ignorant fomewhat refembles the inftinct of animals; it is diffufed in but a very narrow

fphere,

fphere, but within that circle it acts with vigour, uniformity, and fuccefs.

Adieu.

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FROM my former accounts you may be apt to fancy the English the most ridiculous people under the fun. They are indeed ridiculous; yet every other nation in Europe is equally fo; each laughs at each, and the Afiatic at all,

I may, upon another occafion, point out what is most strikingly abfurd in other countries; I fhall at prefent confine myself only to France. The first national peculiarity a traveller meets upon entering that kingdom, is an odd fort of a ftaring yivacity in every eye, not excepting even the children; the people, it seems, have got it into their heads that they have more wit than others, and fo ftare in order to look fmart.

I know not how it happens, but there appears a fickly delicacy in the faces of their finest women. This may have introduced the use of paint, and paint produces wrinkles; fo that a fine lady fhall look like a hag at twenty-three. But as in fome measure they never appear young, fo it may be equally afferted, that they actually think themfelves never old; a gentle Mifs fhall prepare for new conquefts at fixty, fhall hobble a rigadoon when the can fcarcely hobble out without a crutch, fhe fhall affect the girl, play her fan and her eyes, and talk of fentiments, bleeding hearts, and expiring for love, X 3

when

when dying with age. Like a departing philofopher, the attempts to make her laft moments the moft brilliant of her life.

Their civility to ftrangers is what they are chiefly proud of; and to confefs fincerely, their beggars are the very politeft beggars I ever knew; in other places a traveller is addreffed with a piteous whine, or a sturdy folemnity, but a French beggar fhall afk your charity with a very genteel bow, and thank you for it with a fmile and fhrugg.

Another inftance of this people's breeding I must not forget. An Englishman could not speak his native language in a company of foreigners where he was fure that none understood him; a travelling Hottentot himself would be filent if acquainted only with the language of his country; but a Frenchman fhall talk to you whether you underftand his language or not; never troubling his head whether you have learned French, ftill he keeps up the converfation, fixes his eye full in your face, and afks a thoufand queftions, which he anfwers himself for want of a more fatisfactory reply.

But their civility to foreigners is not half fo great as their admiration of themfelves. Every thing that belongs to them and their nation is great, magnificent beyond expreffion; quite romantic! every garden is a paradife, every hovel a palace, and every woman an angel. They fhut their eyes clofe, throw their mouths wide open, and cry out in rapture: Sacre! What beauty! O Ciel, what tafte! mort de ma vie, what grandeur, was ever any people like ourselves; we are the nation of men, and all the reft no better than two-legged barbarians.

I fancy the French would make the beft cooks in the world, if they had but meat; as it is, they can drefs you out five different difhes from a nettle-top, feven from a dock leaf, and twice as many from a

frog's

frog's haunches; these eat prettily enough when one is a little used to them, are easy of digeftion, and feldom overload the ftomach with crudities. They feldom dine under feven hot dishes; it is true, indeed, with all this magnificence, they feldom fpread a cloth before the guests; but in that I cannot be angry with them; fince thofe who have got no linen on their backs, may very well be excused for wanting it upon their tables.

Even Religion itself lofes its folemnity among them. Upon their roads, at about every five miles diftance, you fee an image of the Virgin Mary dreffed up in grim head-cloths, painted cheeks, and an old red petticoat; before her a lamp is often kept burning, at which, with the faint's permiffion, I have frequently lighted my pipe. Inftead of the Virgin you are fometimes prefented with a crucifix, at other times with a wooden Saviour, fitted out in complete garniture, with fponge, fpear, nails, pincers, hammer, bees-wax, and vinegar-bottle. Some of these images, I have been told, came down from heaven; if fo, in heaven they have but bungling

workmen.

In paffing through their towns, you frequently see the men fitting at the doors knitting stockings, while the care of cultivating the ground and pruning the vines fall to the women. This is perhaps the reason why the fair fex are granted fome peculiar privileges in this country; particularly, when they can get horfes, of riding without a fide-faddle.

But I begin to think you may find this defcription pert and dull enough; perhaps it is fo, yet in general it is the manner in which the French ufually defcribe foreigners; and it is but juft to force a part of that ridicule back upon them, which they attempt to lavish on others. Adieu.

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LETTER LXXVIII.

FROM THE SAME.

THE two theatres, which ferve to amuse the citizens here, are again opened for the winter. The mimetic troops, different from those of the ftate, begin their campaign when all the others quit the field; and at a time when the Europeans ceafe to deftroy each other in reality, they are entertained with mock battles upon the stage.

The dancing mafter once more shakes his quivering feet; the carpenter prepares his paradife of pafteboard; the hero refolves to cover his forehead with brafs, and the heroine begins to fcour up her copper tail, preparative to future operations; in fhort, all are in motion, from the theatrical letter-carrier in yellow clothes, to Alexander the Great that ftands on a ftool.

Both houfes have already commenced hoftilities. War, open war, and no quarter received or given ! Two finging women, like heralds, have begun the conteft; the whole town is divided on this folemn occafion; one has the finest pipe, the other the finest manner; one curtefies to the ground, the other falutes the audience with a fimile; one comes on with modefty which afks, the other with boldnefs which extorts applaufe; one wears powder, the other has none; one has the longest waift, but the other appears moft caly; all, all is important and ferious; the town as yet perfeveres in its neutrality, a cause of fuch moment demands the moft mature deliberation, they continue to exhibit, and it is very poffible

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