"ter trade." I must confefs, Sir, fays I, a curiofity to know what you call a valuable stock, which can only bear a winter perufal. Sir," replied the bookseller, "it is not my way to cry up my own goods; but "without exaggeration I will venture to fhow with 66 66 any of the trade; my books at least have the pe"culiar advantage of being always new; and it is "my way to clear off my old to the trunk-makers every feason, I have ten new title pages now "about me, which only want books to be added "to make them the finest things in Nature. Others may pretend to direct the vulgar; but that is not my way; I always let the vulgar direct me; "wherever popular clamour arifes, I always echo "the million. For inftance, fhould the people in "general fay that fuch a man is a rogue, I inftantly 66 66 66 give orders to fet him down in print a villain; "thus every man buys the book, not to learn new "fentiments, but to have the pleasure of seeing his "own reflected." But Sir, interrupted I, you speak as if yourself wrote the books you publish; may I be fa bold as to afk a fight of fome of thofe intended publications which are shortly to furprize the world? 66 66 "As to that, Sir," replied the talkative bookfeller, "I only draw out the plans myfelf; and though I "am very cautious of communicating them to any, yet, as in the end I have a favour to afk, you fhall fee a few of them. Here, Sir, here they are, diamonds of the firft water, I affure you. "Imprimis, a tranflation of feveral medical pre"cepts for the ufe of fuch phyficians as do not un❝derstand Latin. Item, the young clergyman's art "of placing patches regularly, with a differtation "on the different manner of fmiling without dif"torting the face. Item, the whole art of love "made perfectly eafy by a broker of 'Change Alley. Item, the proper manner of cutting black "lead "lead pencils, and making crayons; by the Right "Hon. the Earl of ***. Item, the mufter-mafter"general, or the review of reviews-" Sir, cried I, interrupting him, my curiofity with regard to titlepages is fat sfied, I fhould be glad to fee fome longer manufcript, an history, or an epic poem. Blefs me,' cries the man of induftry, "now you speak of an "epic poem, you fhall fee an excellent farce. Here "it is; dip into it where you will, it will be found "replete with true modern humour. Strokes, Sir; "it is filled with ftrokes of wit and fatire in every "line." Do you call thefe dashes of the pen strokes, replied I, for I must confefs I can fee no other? "And 66 66 pray Sir," returned he, "what do you call them? "Do you fee any thing good now-a-days that is not "filled with ftrokes-and dafhes?-Sir, a wellplaced dash makes half the wit of our writers of "modern humour *. I bought last season a piece "that had no other merit upon earth than nine hun"dred and ninety-five breaks, seventy-two ha ha's, "three good things, and a garter. And yet it played off, and bounced, and cracked, and made more fport than a fire-work." I fancy then, Sir, you were a confiderable gainer? "It must be owned "the piece did pay; but upon the whole I cannot "much boaft of laft winter's fuccefs; I gained by "two murders, but then I loft by an ill-timed "charity-fermon. I was a confiderable fufferer by 66 66 my Direct Road to an Eftate, but the Infernal "Guide brought me up again. Ah, Sir, that was a piece touched off by the hands of a master, 66 * This idea is_well ridiculed by our late excellent poet Cowper, who in his Table Talk has given the following admirable defcription of "A Prologue interdash'd with many a stroke, "Not in the words-but in the gap between." Q 4 "filled "filled with good things from one end to the other, The author had nothing but the jeft in view; no "dull moral lurking beneath, nor ill-natured fatire "to four the reader's good-humour; he wifely con"fidered that moral and humour at the fame time were quite over-doing the bufinefs." To what purpofe was the book then published? cried I. "Sir, the book was published in order to be fold; and no "book fold better, except the criticifms upon it, "which came out foon after; of all kinds of wri"tings that goes off beft at prefent; and I generally "faften a criticism upon every felling book that is "published. "I once had an author who never left the leaft "opening for the critics; clofe was the word, al"ways very right, and very dull, ever on the fafe "fide of an argument; yet, with all his qualifica❝tions, incapable of coming into favour. foon "perceived that his bent was for criticifm; and as "he was good for nothing elfe, fupplied him with pens and paper,. and planted him at the beginning "of every month as a cenfor on the works of others. "In fhort, I found him a treasure, no merit could ❝escape him: but what is moft remarkable of all, he ever wrote beft and bittereft when drunk." But are there not fome works, interrupted I, that from the very manner of their compofition must be exempt from criticifm; particularly fuch as profefs to difregard its laws, There is no work whatsoever but he can criticife," replied the bookfeller; " even though you wrote in Chinese he would have a pluck at you. Suppofe 66 66 you should take it into your head to publish a book, "let it be a volume of Chinese letters for inftance; "write how you will, he fhall fhew the world you "could have written better. Should you, with the moft local exactnefs, ftick to the manners and customs of the country from whence you come; "fhould "fhould you confine yourself to the narrow limits "of Eaftern knowledge, and be perfectly fimple, "and perfectly natural, he has then the strongest "reason to exclaim. He may with a fneer fend you "back to China for readers. He may obferve, that "after the firft or fecond letter the iteration of the "fame fimplicity is infupportably tedious; but the "worst of all is, the publick in fuch a case will anticipate his cenfures, and leave you with all your un"inftructive fimplicity to be mauled at difcretion.' Yes, cried I, but, in order to avoid bis indignation, and what I should fear more, that of the publick, I would in fuch a cafe write with all the knowledge I was mafter of. As I am not possessed of much learning, at least I would not fuppress what little I had; nor would I appear more stupid than Nature made me. "Here then," cries the bookfeller, 66 we should "have you entirely in our power; unnatural, un"eaftern; quite out of character; erroneoufly fen"fible would be the whole cry; Sir, we thould then "hunt you down like a rat.' Head of my father! faid I, fure there are but the two ways; the door muft either be but, or it must be open. I must either be natural or unnatural. "Be what you will, we fhall "criticife you," returned the bookfeller," and “ prove you a dunce in fpite of your teeth. But, "Sir, it is time that I fhould come to bufinefs. I "have juft now in the prefs an hiftory of China; "and if you will but put your name to it as the au"thor, I fhall repay the obligation with gratitude." What, Sir, replied I, put my name to a work which I have not written! Never while I retain a proper reSpect for the publick and myself. The bluntnefs of my reply quite abated the ardour of the bookfeller's conversation; and, after about half an hour's disagreeable referve, he with fome ceremony took his leave and withdrew, Adieu. LETTER LETTER LI. TO THE SAME. IN all other countries, my dear Fum Hoam, the rich are diftinguished by their drefs. In Perfia, China, and moft parts of Europe thofe who are poffeffed of much gold or filver, put fome of it upon their cloaths; but in England, thofe who carry much upon their cloaths, are remarked for having but little in their pockets. A tawdry outfide is regarded as a badge of poverty, and thofe who can fit at home, and glote over their thousands in filent fatisfaction, are generally found to do it in plain cloaths. This diverfity of thinking from the reft of the world which prevails here, I was firft at a lofs to account for; but am fince informed that it was introduced by an intercourfe between them and their neighbours the French; who, whenever they came in order to pay thefe iflanders a vifit, were generally very well dreffed, and very poor, daubed with lace, but all the gilding on the outfide. By this means laced cloaths have been brought fo much into con¬ tempt, that at prefent even their mandarines are afhamed of finery. I must own myself a convert to English fimplicity; I am no more for oftentation of wealth than of learning; the perfon who in company fhould pretend to be wifer than others, I am apt to regard as illiterate and ill-bred; the person whofe cloaths are extremely fine, I am too apt to confider as not being poffeffed of any fuperiority of fortune, but resembling those Indians who are found to wear all the gold they have in the world in a bob at the nose. |