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Otter. Be afraid of nothing. Gentlemen, I have plac'd the drum and the trumpets, and one to give 'em the sign when you are ready. Here's my bull for myself, and my bear for Sir John Daw, and my horse for Sir Amorous. Now set your foot to mine, yours to his, and
La-F. Pray Heaven, my cousin come not.
Otter. Saint George and Saint Andrew! fear no cousins. Come, found, sound. Et rauco firepuerunt cornua cantil.
[Trumpets. Tru. Well faid, Captain, i'faith; well fought at the bull !
Cler. Well held at the bear!
Dau. Oh, the horse has kick'd off his dog aly ready.
La-F. I cannot drink it, as I am a knight. It goes against my conscience. My cousin will be
angry with it.
Daw. I ha' done mine.
Otter. Sir Amorous, you must not equivocate. It must be pulld down, for all my cousin. Cler. 'Sfoot, if you take not your drink, they'll
think you are discontented with something; you'll betray all if you take the least notice.
La-F. Not I, I'll both drink and talk then.
Otter. You must pull the horse on his knees, Sir Amorous; fear no cousins. . Jacta est alea.
Tru. Oh, now he's in his vein, and bold. The least hint given him of his wife now, will make him rail desperately.
Cler. Speak to him of her.
Tru. Do you, and I'll fetch her to the hearing of it.
[Exit. Dau. Captain He-Otter, your She-Otter is coming, your wife.
Otter. Wife ! Buz. Titivilitium. There's no such thing in nature. I confess, gentlemen, I have a cook, a laundress, a house-drudge, that serves me, and goes under that title : But he's an ass that will be fo uxorious to tie his affection to one. Wife ! the name dulls appetite. A wife is a scurvy clogdogdo, an unlucky thing, a very foresaid bear-whelp, without any good fashion or breeding ; mala bestia.
[His wife is brought out to hear him by Truewit. Dau. Why did you marry one then, captain ?
Otter. I married with fix thousand pound, I. I was in love with that. I have not kiss'd my fury these forty weeks. Cler. The more to blame you, captain,
Tru. Nay, Mrs. Otter, hear him a little firft,
Otter. She hath a breath worse than my grand, mother's, profecto.
Mrs. Otter. Oh, treacherous lyar ! Kiss me, sweet master Truewit, and prove him a slandering knave.
Tru. I'll rather believe you, lady. Otter. And she has a peruke, that's like a pound of hemp, made up in shoe-threads.
Mrs. Otter. Oh, viper, mandrake !
Otter. A most vile face! and yet she spends me forty pound a-year in wathes for it, mercury, and hogs' bones. All her teeth were made i' the BlackFriers, both her eye-brows i' the Strand, and her hair in Silver-street. Every part o' the town owns a piece of her.
Mrs. Otter. I cannot hold.
Otter. She takes herself asunder still when she goes to bed, into some twenty boxes; and about next day noon is put together again, like a great German clock; and so comes forth, and rings a tedious larum to the whole house, and then is quiet again for an hour, but for her quarters. Ha’ you
done me right, gentlemen ? Mrs. Otter. No, Sir, I'll do you right with my quarters, with my quarters.
[She falls upon him and beats him. Otter. Oh, hold, good princess.
Tru. Sound, found.
[Trumpets, Cler, A battle, a battle.
Mrs. Otter. You notorious stinkardly bearward, does my breath smell?
Otter. Under correction, dear princess. Look to my bear and my horse, gentlemen.
Mrs. Otter. Do I want teeth, and eye-brows, shou bull-dog? Trụ. Sound, found still.
[Trumpets, Otter. No, I proteft, under correction
Mrs. Otter. Ay, now you are under correction, you protest : But you did not protest before correction, Sir. Thou Judas, to offer to betray thy princess! I'll make thee an example
Morose, within. Mor. Villains, murderers, sons of the earth, and traitors, what do
there? Tru, Oh, now the noises have waked him, we fhall have his company. .
Enter Morose, with a long sword. Mor. Rogues, hell-hounds, Stentors, out of my doors, you sons of noise and tumult, begot on an ¡ll May-day, or when the gally-foist is afloat to Westminster ! A trumpeter could not be conceiv'd
but then. Out, out, I say! [Exit, driving out
trumpeters, Mrs. Otter, Daw and La-Foole. Cler. Where's Daw and La-Foole?
Otter. They are both run away, Sir. Good gentlemen, help to pacify my princess, and speak to the great ladies for me. Now must I go lie with the bears this fortnight, and keep out o’the way, till my peace be made, for this scandal she has taken. Did not you see my bull-head, gentlemen?
Cler. Is't not on, captain ?
Otter. Oh, here 'tis. An you come over, gentlemen, and ask for Tom Otter, we'll go down to Ratcliff, and have a course i'faith, for all these disasters.
Tru. Away, captain, get off while you are well.
[Exit. Cler. I am glad we are rid of him.
Tru. You had never been, unless we had put his wife
him. His humour is as tedious at. lait, as it was ridiculous at first.
Enter Haughty, Mrs. Otter, Mavis, Daw, La
Foole, Centaure, and Epicone.