THE

PREFACE.

THE following Effays have already appeared at different times, and in different publications. The pamphlets in which they were inferted being generally unsuccessful, thefe fhared the common fate, without affifting the bookfeller's aims or extending the writer's reputation. The public were too ftrenuously employed with their own follies, to be affiduous in eftimating mine; fo that many of my beft attempts in this way have fallen victims to the tranfient topic of the times; the Ghoft in Cock Lane, or the fiege of Ticonderago.

But though they have paft pretty filently into the world, I can by no means complain of their circulation. The magazines and papers of the day have indeed been liberal enough in this refpect. Moft of thefe effays have been regularly reprinted twice or thrice a year, and conveyed to the public through the kennel of fome engaging compilation. If there be a pride in multiplied editions, I have feen fome of my labours fixteen times reprinted, and claimed by different parents as their own. I have feen them

flourished at the beginning with praife, and figned at the end with the names of Philantos, Philalethes, Philalutheros, and Philanthropos. Thefe gentlemen have kindly stood fponfors to my productions, and to flatter me more have always paffed them as their own.

It is time however at laft to vindicate my claims; and as thefe entertainers of the public, as they call themselves, have partly lived upon me for fome years, let me now try if I cannot live a little upon myself. I would defire in this cafe, to imitate that fat man whom I have fomewhere heard of in a shipwreck, who, when the failors preft by famine were taking flices from his pofteriors, to fatisfy their hunger, infifted with great juftice on having the firft cut for himself.

Yet after all, I cannot be angry with any who have taken it into their heads, to think that whatever I write is worth reprinting, particularly when I confider how great a majority will think it fcarcely worth reading. Trifling and fuperficial are terms of reproach that are eafily objected, and that carry an air of penetration in the obferver. Thefe faults have been objected to the following effays; and it muft be owned in fome measure that the charge is true. However, I could have made them more metaphyfical had I thought fit, but I would ask whether in a fhort effay it is not neceffary to be fuperficial? Before we have prepared to enter into the depths of a fubject in the ufual forms, we have arrived at the bottom of our fcanty page, and thus lose the honours of a victory by too tedious a preparation for the combat.

There is another fault in this collection of trifles, which I fear will not be fo eafily pardoned. It will be alledged that the humour of them, (if any be found) is ftale and hackneyed. This may be true enough as matters now ftand, but I may with great truth affert, that the humour was new when I wrote it. Since that time indeed many of the topics, which were firft ftarted here, have been hunted down, and many of the thoughts blown upon. In fact thefe Effays were confidered as quietly laid in

the

the grave of oblivion; and our modern compilers, like fextons and executioners, think it their undoubted right to pillage the dead.

However, whatever right I have to complain of the public, they can as yet have no juft reason to complain of me. If I have written dull Effays, they have hitherto treated them as dull Effays. Thus far we are at least upon par, and until they think fit to make me their humble debtor by praife, I am refolved not to lofe a fingle inch of my felf-importance. Instead, therefore, of attempting to eftablish a credit amongst them, it will perhaps be wifer to apply to fome more diftant correfpondent, and as my drafts are in fome danger of being protefted at home, it may not be imprudent upon this occafion to draw my bills upon Pofterity. Mr. Pofterity. Sir, nine hundred and ninety-nine years after fight hereof, pay the bearer, or order, a thousand pounds' worth of praife, free from all deductions whatsoever, it being a commodity that will then be very ferviceable to him, and place it to the accompt of, &c.

ESSAY

ESSAY I.

I REMEMBER to have read in fome philofopher (I believe in Tom Brown's works) that, let a man's character, fentiments, or complexion, be what they will, he can find company in London to match them. If he be fplenetic, he may every day meet companions on the feats in St. James's Park, with whofe groans he may mix his own, and pathetically talk of the weather. If he be paffionate, he may vent his rage among the old orators at Slaughter's coffeehouse, and damn the nation because it keeps him from ftarving. If he be phlegmatic, he may fit in filence at the hum-drum club in Ivy Lane; and if actually mad, he may find very good company in Moor-fields, either at Bedlam or the Foundery, ready to cultivate a nearer acquaintance.

But, although fuch as have a knowledge of the town may eafily clafs themselves with tempers congenial to their own; a countryman who comes to live in London finds nothing more difficult. With regard to myself, none ever tried with more affiduity, or came off with fuch indifferent fuccefs. I fpent a whole feafon in the fearch, during which time my name has been inrolled in focieties, lodges, convocations, and meetings without number. To fome I was introduced by a friend, to others invited by an advertisement; to these I introduced myself, and to those I changed my name to gain admittance. In fhort no coquette was ever more folicitous to match her ribbons to her complexion, than I to fuit my club to my temper, for I was too obftinate to bring my temper to conform to it.

The

The first club I entered upon coming to town, was that of the Choice Spirits. The name was entirely fuited to my tafte; I was a lover of mirth, good-humour, and even sometimes of fun, from my childhood.

As no other paffport was requifite but the payment of two fhillings at the door, I introduced myfelf without farther ceremony to the members, who were already affembled, and had for fome time begun upon business. The Grand, with a mallet in his hand, prefided at the head of the table. I could not avoid, upon my entrance, making use of all my fkill in phyfiognomy, in order to difcover that fuperiority of genius in men, who had taken a title fo fuperior to the reft of mankind. I expected to fee the lines of every face marked with ftrong thinking; but though I had fome fkill in this fcience, I could for my life difcover nothing but a pert fimper, fat, or profound ftupidity.

My fpeculations were foon interrupted by the Grand, who had knocked down Mr. Spriggins for a fong. I was upon this whispered by one of the company who fat next me, that I fhould now fee fomething touched off to a nicety, for Mr. Spriggins was going to give us Mad Tom in all its glory. Mr. Spriggins endeavoured to excufe himself; for, as he was to act a madman and a king, it was impoffible to go through the part properly without a crown and chains. His excufes were over-ruled by a great majority, and with much vociferation. The prefident ordered up the jack-chain, and inftead of a crown, our performer covered his brows with an inverted jordan. After he had rattled his chain, and fhook his head, to the great delight of the whole company, he began his fong. As I have heard few young fellows offer to fing in company that did not expofe themfelves, it was no great dif appointment