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Socrates, and Cicero, which he will foon read to the fociety.

V. All them who brings a new argument against religion, and who being a philofopher, and a man of learning, as the reft of us is, fhall be admitted to the freedom of the fociety, upon paying fix-pence only, to be spent in punch.

VI. Whenever we are to have an extraordinary meeting, it fhall be advertised by fome outlandish name in the newspapers.

SAUNDERS MAC WILD, prefident, ANTHONY BLEWIT, vice-prefident, his mark.

WILLIAM TURPIN, fecretary.

ESSAY II.

WE effayifts, who are allowed but one subject

at a time, are by no means fo fortunate as the writers of magazines, who write upon feveral. If a magaziner be dull upon the Spanish war, he foon has us up again with the ghoft in Cock-lane; if the reader begins to doze upon that, he is quickly rouzed by an eastern tale; tales prepare us for poetry, and poetry for the meteorological hiftory of the weather. It is the life and foul of a magazine never to be long dull upon one fubject; and the reader, like the failor's horfe, has at least the comfortable refreshment of having the spur often changed.

As I fee no reafon why they thould carry off all the rewards of genius, I have fome thoughts for the future of making this effay a magazine in miniature I fhall hop from fubject to fubject, and, if properly

X 4

properly encouraged, I intend in time to adorn my feuille volant with pictures. But to begin in the ufual form with

A Modeft Addrefs to the Public.

The publick has been fo often impofed upon by the unperforming promises of others, that it is with the utmost modefty, we affure them of our inviolable defign of giving the very beft collection that ever aftonished fociety. The publick we honour and regard, and therefore to inftruct and entertain them is our highest ambition, with labours calculated as well for the head as the heart. If four extraordinary pages of letter-prefs be any recommendation of our wit, we may at least boaft the honour of vindicating our own abilities. To fay more in favour of the Infernal Magazine, would be unworthy the publick; to fay lefs, would be injurious to ourselves. As we have no interested motives for this undertaking, being a fociety of gentlemen of diftinction, we difdain to eat or write like hirelings; we are all gentlemen refolved to fell our fixpenny magazine merely for our own amusement.

Be careful to ask for the Infernal Magazine.

Dedication to that most ingenious of all Patrons
the Tripoline Ambafador.

May it please your EXCELLENCY,

As your taste in the fine arts is univerfally allowed and admired, permit the authors of the Infernal Magazine to lay the following fheets humbly at your Excellency's toe; and fhould our labours ever have the happiness of one day adorning the courts of Fez, we doubt not that the influence wherewith we are honoured, fhall be ever retained with the most warm ardour by,

May it please your Excellency,

Your moft devoted humble fervants,

The Authors of the INFERNAL MAGAZINE.
A Speech

A Speech Spoken by the Indigent Philofopher, to perfuade his Club at Cateaton to declare War against Spain.

My honest friends and brother politicians; I perceive that the intended war with Spain makes many of you uneafy. Yesterday, as we were told, the ftocks rofe, and you were glad; to-day they fall, and you are again miferable. But, my dear friends, what is the rifing or the falling of the ftocks to us, who have no money? Let Nathan Ben Funk, the Dutch Jew, be glad or forry for this; but my good Mr. Bellows-mender, what is all this to you or me? You must mend broken bellows, and I write bad profe, as long as we live, whether we like a Spanish war or not. Believe me, my honest friends, whatever you may talk of liberty and your own reason, both that liberty and reafon are conditionally refigned by every poor man in every fociety; and, as we are born to work, fo others are born to watch over us while we are working. In the name of common-fenfe then, my good friends, let the great keep watch over us, and let us mind our bufinefs, and perhaps we may at laft get money ourselves, and fet beggars at work in our turn. I have a Latin fentence that is worth its weight in gold, and which I fhall beg leave to tranflate for your inftruction. An author, called Lilly's Grammar, finely obferves, that "As in præ"fenti perfectum format ;" that is Ready money "makes a perfect man ; Let us then get ready money; and let them that will spend theirs by going to war with Spain.

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Rules for Behaviour drawn up by the Indigent Philofopher.

If you be a rich man, you may enter the room with three loud hems, march deliberately up to the

chimney,

chimney, and turn your back to the fire. If you be a poor man, I would advise you to fhrink into the room as faft as you can, and place yourself as ufual upon a corner of a chair in a remote corner.

When you are defired to fing in company, I would advise you to refufe; for it is a thousand to one but that you torment us with affectation or a bad voice.

If you be young, and live with an old man, I would advise you not to like gravy; I was difinherited myself for liking gravy.

Don't laugh much in public; the spectators that are not as merry as you, will hate you, either because they envy your happiness, or fancy themselves the fubject of your mirth.

Rules for raifing the Devil. Tranflated from the Latin of Danaus de Sortiariis, a Writer cotemporary with Calvin, and one of the Reformers of our Church.

The person who defires to raise the Devil, is to facrifice a dog, a cat, and a hen, all of his own property, to Beelzebub. He is to fwear an eternal obedience, and then to receive a mark in fome unseen place, either under the eye-lid, or in the roof of the mouth, inflicted by the devil himfelf. Upon this he has power given him over three fpirits; one for earth, another for air, and a third for the fea. Upon certain times the devil holds an affembly of magicians, in which each is to give an account of what evil he has done, and what he wishes to do. At this affembly he appears in the fhape of an old man, or often like a goat with large horns. They upon this occafion renew their vows of obedience; and then form a grand dance in honour of their falfe deity. The devil inftructs them in every method of injuring mankind, in gathering poifons, and of riding upon occa

fion through the air. He fhews them the whole method, upon exainination, of giving evafive anfwers; his fpirits have power to affume the form of angels of light, and there is but one method of detecting them; viz. to ask them in proper form, what method is the moft certain to propagate the faith over all the world? To this they are not permitted by the Superior Power to make a falfe reply, nor are they willing to give the true one, wherefore they continue filent, and are thus detected.

ESSAY III.

WHERE Tauris lifts its head above the ftorm, and prefents nothing to the fight of the diftant traveller but a profpect of nodding rocks, falling torrents, and all the variety of tremendous Nature; on the bleak bofom of this frightful mountain, fecluded from fociety, and detefting the ways of men, lived Afem the Man-hater.

Afem had spent his youth with men; had shared in their amufements; and had been taught to love his fellow-creatures with the most ardent affection: but from the tendernefs of his difpofition he exhaufted all his fortune in relieving the wants of the diftreffed. The petitioner never fued in vain; the weary traveller never paffed his door; he only defifted from doing good when he had no longer the power of relieving.

From a fortune thus spent in benevolence he expected a grateful return from thofe he had formerly relieved; and made his application with confidence of redrefs; the ungrateful world foon grew weary of

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