begin to open his mouth; every time the pipe was laid down I expected it was to fpeak; but it was only to fpit. At length refolving to break the charm myself, and overcome their extreme diffidence, for to this I imputed their filence; I rubbed my hands, and looking as wife as poffible, obferved that the nights began to grow a little coolish at this time of the year. This, as it was directed to none of the company in particular, none thought himself obliged to anfwer; wherefore I continued ftill to rub hands and look wife. My next effort was addreffed to a gentleman who fat next me; to whom I obferved that the beer was extremely good: my neighbour made no reply, but by a large puff of tobacco-fmoke.

my

I now began to be uneafy in this dumb fociety, till one of them a little relieved me by obferving that bread had not rifen these three weeks: "Ay, fays another, still keeping the pipe in his mouth, "that puts me in mind of a pleasant story about "that-hem-very well; you must know-but, "before I begin-Sir, my fervice to you-where was I?"

My next club goes by the name of the Harmonical Society; probably from that love of order and friendship which every perfon commends in inftitutions of this nature. The landlord was himfelf founder. The money spent is four pence each; and they fometimes whip for a double reckoning. To this club few recommendations are requifite, except the introductory four pence and my landlord's good word, which, as he gains by it, he never refufes.

We all here talked and behaved as every body elfe ufually does on his club-night; we difcuffed the topic of the day, drank each others healths, fnuffed the candles with our fingers, and filled our pipes from the fame plate of tobacco. The company faluted

each

each other in the common manner. Mr. Bellowsmender hoped Mr. Curry-comb-maker had not caught cold going home the last club-night; and he returned the compliment by hoping that young Mafter Bellows-mender had got well again of the chin-cough. Doctor Twift told us a ftory of a parliament-man with whom he was intimately acquainted; while the bug-man, at the fame time, was telling a better ftory of a noble lord with whom he could do any thing. A gentleman in a black wig and leather breeches at the other end of the table was engaged in a long narrative of the Ghost in Cock-lane he had read it in the papers of the day, and was telling it to fome that fat next him, who could not read. Near him Mr. Dibbins was difputing on the old subject of religion with a Jew pedlar, over the table, while the prefident vainly knocked down Mr. Leatherfides for a fong. Besides the combinations of thefe voices, which I could hear altogether, and which formed an upper part to the concert, there were feveral others playing under-parts by themfelves, and endeavouring to faften on fome luckless neighbour's ear, who was himself bent upon the fame defign against some other.

We have often heard of the fpeech of a corporation, and this induced me to tranfcribe a fpeech of this club, taken in fhort-hand, word for word, as it was spoken by every member of the company. It may be neceffary to obferve that the man who told of the ghoft had the loudeft voice, and the longest story to tell, fo that his continuing narrative filled every chafm in the converfation.

"So, Sir, d'ye perceive me, the ghoft giving three loud raps at the bed-poft--Says my lord to me, my dear Smokeum, you know there is no man upon the face of the earth for whom I have fo highA damnable false heretical opinion of all found doc

trine and good learning; for I'll tell it aloud, and fpare not that-Silence for a fong'; Mr. Leatherfides for a fong-As I was a walking upon the highway, "I met a young damfel"-Then what brings you here? fays the parfon to the ghoft-Sanconiathan, Manetho, and Berofus-The whole way from Iflington-turnpike to Dog-houfe-bar-Dam-As for Abel Drugger, Sir, he's damn'd low in it; my 'prentice boy has more of the gentleman than he-For murder will out one time or another; and none but a ghoft, you know, gentlemen, can-Damme if I don't; for my friend, whom you know, gentlemen, and who is a parliament-man, a man of confequence, a dear honeft creature, to be fure; we were laughing laft night at Death and damnation upon all his pofterity by fimply barely tafting-Sour grapes, as the fox faid once when he could not reach them; and I'll, I'll tell you a ftory about that that will make you burft your fides with laughing: A fox once-Will nobody liften to the fong-"As I was "a walking upon the highway, I met a young "damfel both buxom and gay"-No ghoft, gentlemen, can be murdered; nor did I ever hear but of one ghoft killed in all my life, and that was ftabbed in the belly with a-My blood and foul if I don't -Mr. Bellows-mender, I have the honour of drinking your very good health-Blaft me if I do-dam -blood-bugs-fire-whizz-blid-tit-rat--trip"

-The reft all riot, nonsense, and rapid confufion.

Were I to be angry at men for being fools, I could here find ample room for declamation; but alas! I have been a fool myself; and why fhould I be angry with them for being fomething fo natural to every child of humanity?

Fatigued with this fociety, I was introduced the following night to a club of fashion. On taking my place I found the converfation fufficiently eaty,

and

and tolerably good-natured; for my lord and Sir Paul were not yet arrived. I now thought myself completely fitted, and refolving to feek no farther, determined to take up my refidence here for the winter; while my temper began to open infenfibly to the cheerfulness I faw diffufed on every face in the room but the delufion foon vanished, when the waiter came to apprize us that his lordship and Sir Paul were juft arrived.

From this moment all our felicity was at an end; our new guests buftled into the room, and took their feats at the head of the table. Adieu now all confidence; every creature ftrove who fhould most recommend himfelf to our members of diftinction. Each feemed quite regardless of pleafing any but our new guests; and what before wore the appearance of friendship, was now turned into rivalry.

Yet I could not obferve that amidst all this flattery and obfequious attention our great men took any notice of the reft of the company. Their whole difcourfe was addreffed to each other. Sir Paul told his lordship a long ftory of Moravia the Jew; and his lordship gave Sir Paul a very long account of his new method of managing filk-worms; he led him and confequently the reft of the company through all the ftages of feeding, funning, and hatching; with an episode on mulberry-trees, a digreffion upon grafs feeds, and a long parenthefis about his new poftilion. In this manner we travelled on, wifhing every story to be the laft; but all in vain.

"Hills over hills, and Alps on Alps arofe."

The laft club, in which I was inrolled a member, was a fociety of moral philofophers, as they called themselves, who affembled twice a week, in order to fhow the abfurdity of the prefent mode of religion, and establish a new one in its ftead..

I found the members very warmly difputing when I arrived; not indeed about religion or ethics, but about who had neglected to lay down his preliminary fix-pence upon entering the room. The prefident fwore that he had laid his own down, and fo fwore all the company.

During this conteft I had an opportunity of obferving the laws, and also the members of the fociety. The prefident who had been, as I was told, lately a bankrupt, was a tall pale figure with a long black wig; the next to him was dreffed in a large white wig and a black cravat; a third by the brownness of his complexion feemed a native of Jamaica; and a fourth by his hue appeared to be a blacksmith. But their rules will give the most juft idea of their learning and principles.

I. We being a laudable fociety of moral philofophers, intends to difpute twice a week about religion and prieftcraft. Leaving behind us old wives tales, and following good learning and found fense: and if fo be, that any other perfons has a mind to be of the society, they fhall be entitled fo to do, upon paying the fum of three fhillings to be fpent by the company in punch.

II. That no member get drunk before nine of the clock, upon pain of forfeiting three pence, to be fpent by the company in punch.

III. That as members are fometimes apt to go away without paying, every person shall pay fixpence upon his entering the room; and all difputes fhall be fettled by a majority; and all fines fhall be paid in punch.

IV. That fix-pence fhall be every night given to the prefident, in order to buy books of learning for the good of the fociety; the prefident has already put himself to a good deal of expence in buying books for the club; particularly, the works of Tully,

Socrates,