the grave of oblivion; and our modern compilers, like fextons and executioners, think it their undoubted right to pillage the dead.

However, whatever right I have to complain of the public, they can as yet have no just reason to complain of me. If I have written dull Effays, they have hitherto treated them as dull Effays. Thus far we are at least upon par, and until they think fit to make me their humble debtor by praife, I am refolved not to lofe a fingle inch of my felf-importance. Instead, therefore, of attempting to eftablish a credit amongst them, it will perhaps be wiser to apply to fome more diftant correfpondent, and as my drafts are in fome danger of being protested at home, it may not be imprudent upon this occafion to draw my bills upon Pofterity. Mr. Pofterity. Sir, nine hundred and ninety-nine years after fight hereof, pay the bearer, or order, a thousand pounds' worth of praise, free from all deductions whatsoever, it being a commodity that will then be very ferviceable to him, and place it to the accompt of, &c.

ESSAY

ESSAY I.

I REMEMBER to have read in fome philofopher (I believe in Tom Brown's works) that, let a man's character, fentiments, or complexion, be what they will, he can find company in London to match them. If he be fplenetic, he may every day meet companions on the feats in St. James's Park, with whofe groans he may mix his own, and pathetically talk of the weather. If he be paffionate, he may vent his rage among the old orators at Slaughter's coffeehoufe, and damn the nation because it keeps him from ftarving. If he be phlegmatic, he may fit in filence at the hum drum club in Ivy-Lane; and if actually mad, he may find very good company in Moor-fields, either at Bedlam or the Foundery, ready to cultivate a nearer acquaintance.

But, although fuch as have a knowledge of the town may easily clafs themselves with tempers congenial to their own; a countryman who comes to live in London finds nothing more difficult. With regard to myself, none ever tried with more affiduity, or came off with fuch indifferent fuccefs. I fpent a whole feafon in the fearch, during which time my name has been inrolled in focieties, lodges, convocations, and meetings without number. To fome I was introduced by a friend, to others invited by an advertisement; to these I introduced myself, and to those I changed my name to gain admittance. In fhort no coquette was ever more folicitous to match her ribbons to her complexion, than I to fuit my club to my temper, for I was too obftinate to bring my temper to conform to it.

The

The first club I entered upon coming to town, was that of the Choice Spirits. The name was entirely fuited to my tafte; I was a lover of mirth, good-humour, and even fometimes of fun, from my childhood.

As no other paffport was requifite but the payment of two fhillings at the door, I introduced myfelf without farther ceremony to the members, who were already affembled, and had for fome time begun upon bufinefs. The Grand, with a mallet in his hand, prefided at the head of the table. I could not avoid, upon my entrance, making use of all my fkill in phyfiognomy, in order to difcover that fuperiority of genius in men, who had taken a title fo fuperior to the reft of mankind. I expected to fee the lines of every face marked with ftrong thinking; but though I had fome skill in this fcience, I could for my life difcover nothing but a pert fimper, fat, or profound ftupidity.

My fpeculations were foon interrupted by the Grand, who had knocked down Mr. Spriggins for a fong. I was upon this whispered by one of the company who fat next me, that I fhould now fee fomething touched off to a nicety, for Mr. Spriggins was going to give us Mad Tom in all its glory. Mr. Spriggins endeavoured to excufe himself; for, as he was to act a madman and a king, it was impoffible to go through the part properly without a crown and chains. His excufes were over-ruled by a great majority, and with much vociferation. The prefident ordered up the jack-chain, and instead of a crown, our performer covered his brows with an inverted jordan. After he had rattled his chain, and shook his head, to the great delight of the whole company, he began his fong. As I have heard few young fellows offer to fing in company that did not expofe themfelves, it was no great dif appointment

appointment to me to find Mr. Spriggins among the number; however not to feem an odd fish, I rose from my feat in rapture, cried out, bravo! encore! and flapped the table as loud as any of the reft.

The gentleman who fat next me seemed highly pleased with my tafte and the ardour of my approbation; and whispering told me that I had fuffered an immenfe lofs; for had I come a few minutes fooner, I might have heard Gee ho Dobbin fung in a tip-top manner by the pimple-nofed fpirit at the prefident's right elbow: but he was evaporated before I came.

As I was expreffing my uneafinefs at this difappointment, I found the attention of the company employed upon a fat figure, who, with a voice more rough than the Staffordshire giant's, was giving us the Softly Sweet in Lydian Measure of Alexander's Feaft. After a fhort paufe of admiration, to this fucceeded a Welch dialogue with the humours of Teague and Taffy: after that came on Old Jackfon, with a ftory between every ftanza: next was fung the Duft-cart, and then Solomon's Song. The glafs began now to circulate pretty freely; thofe who were filent when fober, would now be heard in their turn; every man had his fong, and he saw no reason why he should not be heard as well as any of the reft: one begged to be heard while he gave Death and the Lady in high tafte; another fung to a plate which he kept trundling on the edges; nothing was now heard but finging; voice rofe above voice, and the whole became one universal shout, when the landlord came to acquaint the company that the reckoning was drank out. Rabelais calls

the moments in which a reckoning is mentioned, the moft melancholy of our lives: never was fo much noife fo quickly quelled, as by this fhort but pathetic oration of our landlord: drank out was echoed

in a tone of difcontent round the table: drank out already! that was very odd! that so much punch could be drank out already: impoffible! The landlord however seeming refolved not to retreat from his first assurances, the company was diffolved, and a prefident chofen for the night enfuing.

A friend of mine, to whom I was complaining fome time after of the entertainment I have been defcribing, propofed to bring me to the club that he frequented; which he fancied would fuit the gravity of my temper exactly. "We have at the Muzzy "Club," fays he, "no riotous mirth nor aukward "ribaldry; no confufion or bawling; all is con"ducted with wisdom and decency: befides fome "of our members are worth forty thousand pounds; "men of prudence and forefight every one of them: "thefe are the proper acquaintance, and to fuch "I will to-night introduce you." I was charmed at the propofal: to be acquainted with men worth forty thousand pounds, and to talk wifdom the whole night, were offers that threw me into rapture.

At feven o'clock I was accordingly introduced by my friend, not indeed to the company; for though I made my beft bow, they feemed infenfible of my approach, but to the table at which they were fitting. Upon my entering the room, I could not avoid feeling a fecret veneration from the folemnity of the fcene before me; the members kept a profound filence, each with a pipe in his mouth and a pewter pot in his hand, and with faces that might eafily be conftrued into abfolute wifdom. Happy fociety, thought I to myfelf, where the members think before they speak, deliver nothing rafhly, but convey their thoughts to each other pregnant with meaning, and matured by reflection.

In this pleafing fpeculation I continued a full half hour, expecting each moment that fome body would VOL. IV.

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