my own, fearing Glumdalclitch might lofe it. The Queen likewife ordered the thinneft filks that could be gotten to make me cloats, not much thicker than an English blanket, very cumbersome, till I was accuftomed to them They were after the fafhin of the kingdom, party refembling the Perfian, and partly the Chinese, and are a very grave and

decent habit.

The Queen became fo fond of my company, that fhe could not dine wi hout me. I had a table placed upon the fame at which her Majesty eat, juft at her left elbow, and a chair to fit on. Glumdalclitch ftood on a tool on the floor near my table to affift and take care of me. I had an entire fet of filverdifies and plates and other neceffaries, which, in proportion to thofe of the Queen, were not much bigger than what I have feen in a London toy-fhop, for the furniture of a baby-houte: thefe my little nurfe kept in her pocket in a filver box, and gave me at meals as I wanted them, always cleaning them herfelt. No perfon dined with the Queen but the two princefles royal, the elder 16 years old, and the younger at that time 13 and a month. Her Majesty ufed to put a bit of meat upon one of my dishes, out of which I carved for myself; and her diversion was to fee me eat in miniature. For the Queen (who had indeed but a weak ftomach,) took up, at one mouthful, as much as a dozen English farmers could eat at a meal, which to me was for fome time a very naufeous fight *. She would cranch the wing

Among other dreadful and difgufting images, which custom has rendered familiar, are those which arife from eating animal food. He, who has ever turned with abhorrence from the fkeieton of a beaft which has been picked whole by birds or vermin, must confefs, that habit only could have enabled him to endure the fight of the mangJed tones and flesh of a dead carcafe, which every day cover his table: and he, who reflects on the number of lives that have been facrificed to futtain his own, fhould enquire by what the account has been balanced, and whether his life is become proportionably of more value, by the exercife of virtue and piety, by the fuperior happiness which

he

wing of a lark, bones and all, between her teeth, although it were nine times as large as that of a full-grown turkey; and put a bit of bread in her mouth, as big as two twelve-penny loaves. She

drank out of a golden cup, above a hogfhead at a draught. Her knives were twice as long as a feythe, fet ftrait upon the handle. The fpoons, forks, and other inftruments, were all in the fame proportion. I remember, when Glumdalclitch carried me out of curiofity to fee fome of the tables at court, where ten or a dozen of these enormous knives and forks were lifted up together, I thought I had never till then beheld fo terrible a fight.

4

It is the custom, that every Wednefday (which, as I have before obferved, is their Sabbath,) the King and Queen, with the royal iffue of both fexes, dine together in the apartment of his Majefty, to whom I was now become a great favourite; and at thefe times my little chair and table were placed at his left hand before one of the falt cellars. This prince took a pleafure in converfing with me, enquiring into the manners, religion, laws, govern. ment, and learning of Europe; wherein I gave him the best account I was able. His apprehenfion was fo clear, and his judgment fo exact, that he made very wife reflections and observations upon all I faid. But I confefs, that after I had been a little too copious in talking of my own beloved country; of our trade, and wars by fea and land, of our fchifms in religion, and parties in the ftate; the prejudices of his education prevailed fo far, that he could not forbear taking me up in his right hand, and stroaking me gently with the other, after an hearty fit of laughing, afked me, whether I was a Whig or Tory? Then turning to his firft minifter, who waited behind him with a white ftaff, near as tall as the main-maft of the Royal Sovereign, he obferved he has communicated to reasonable beings, and by the glory which his intellect has alcribed t» God."

C3

hows

how contemptible a thing was human grandeur, which could be mimicked by fuch diminutive infects as : and yet, fays he, I dare engage, thefe creatures have their titles and diftinctions of honour; they contrive little nefts and burrows, that they call houfes and cities; they make a figure in drefs and cquipage; they love, they fight, they difpute, they cheat, they betray. And thus he continued on, while my colour came and went feveral times with indignation, to hear our noble country, the mistress of arts and arms, the fcourge of France, the arbitress of Europe, the feat of virtue, piety. honour, and truth, the pride and envy of the world, fo contemptuoufly treated.

But as I was not in a condition to refent injuries, fo upon mature thoughts I began to doubt whether I was injured or no. For, after having been accuftomed feveral months to the fight and converse of this people, and obferved every object upon which I caft mine eyes to be of proportionable magnitude, the horror I had at firft conceived from their bulk and afpect, was fo far worn off, that if I had then beheld a company of English lords and ladies in their finery, and birth-day cloaths, acting their feveral parts in the moft courtly manner of ftrutting, and bowing, and prating; to fay the truth, I thould have been ftrongly tempted to laugh as much at them, as the King and his grandees did at me. Neither indeed could I forbear fmiling at myself, when the Queen used to place me upon her hand towards a looking glafs, by which both our perfons appeared before me in full view together; and there could nothing be more ridiculous than the comparifon : fo that really began to imagine myfelf dwindled many degrees below my ufual fize.

Nothing angered and mortified me fo much, as the Queen's dwarf, who, being of the lowest ftature that was ever in that country, (for I verily think he was not full thirty feet high,) became fo infolent at feeing a creature fo much beneath him,

that

that he would always affect to fwagger, and look big as he paffed by me in the Queen's anti-chamber, while I was ftanding on fome table talking with the lords or ladies of the court, and he feldom failed of a fmart word or two upon my littlenes; against which I could only revenge myself by calling him brother, challenging him to wrestle, and fuch repartees as are ufual in the mouths of court pages. One day, at dinner, this malicious little cub was fo nettled with something I had faid to him, that, raif-ing himself upon the frame of her Majefty's chair, he took me up by the middle, as I was fitting down, not thing any harm, and let me drop into a large filver bowl of cream, and then ran away as faft as he could. I fell over head and ears, and, if I had not been a good fwimmer, it might have gone very hard with me; for Glumdalclitch, in that inftant, happened to be at the other end of the room, and the Queen was in fuch a fright, that he wanted prefence of mind to affift me. But my little nurle ran to my relief, and took me out, after I had fwa-lowed above a quart of cream. I was put to bed; however, I received no other damage than the lofs of a fuit of clothes, which was utterly spoiled The dwarf was foundly whipped, and, as a farther pu-nifhment, forced to drink up the bowl of cream, into which he had thrown me; neither was he ever reftored to favour: for foon after the Queen beftowed him on a lady of high quality, fo that I faw him no more, to my very great fatisfaction; for I could not tell to what extremity fuch a malicious urchin might have carried his refentment.

He had before ferved me a fcurvy trick, which fet the Queen a-laughing, although at the fame time he was heartily vexed, and would have immediately cafhiered him, if I had not been fo generous as to intercede. Her Majefty had taken a marrowbone upon her plate, and after knocking out the marrow, placed the bone again in the dith erect, as

it

it ftood before; the dwarf watching his opportunity, while Glumdalclitch was gone to the fide board, mounted the ftool that fhe stood on to take care of me at meals, took me up in both hands, and fqueezing my legs together, wedged them into the marrow bone above my waist, where I ftuck for fome time, and made a very ridiculous figure. I believe it was near a minute before any one knew what was become of me; for I thought it below me to cry Out But, as princes feldom get their meat hot, my legs were not fcalded, only my stockings and breeches in a fad condition. The dwarf, at my entreaty, had no other punishment than a found whipping

I was frequently rallied by the Queen upon account of my fearfulnels; and the used to afk me, whether the people of my country were as great cowards as myfelt? The occation was this: the kingdom is much peftered with flies in fummer, and thefe odious infects, each of them as big as a Linstable lark, hardly gave me any reft while I fat at dinner, with their continual humming and buzzing about mine ears. They would fometimes alight upon my victuals, and leave their loathfome excrement or spawn behind, which to me was very vifible, though not to the natives of that country, whole large optics were not fo acute as mine in viewing fmaller objects. Sometimes they would fix upon my nofe or forehead, where they ftung me to the quick, fmelling very effenfively; and I could eafily trace that vilcous matter, which, our naturalifts tell us, enables thofe creatures to walk with their feet upwards upon a cieling. I had much ado to defend myfelf against thefe deteftable animals, and could not forbear fha ting when they came on my face. It was the common practice of the dwarf to catch a number of these infects in his hand, as fchool-boys do among us, and let them out fuddenly under my nofe, on purpose to frighten me, and