fooner than exert themselves in the greatest danger. To authenticate what he faid, he propofed a confiderable wager, that if any The frizeur bids defiance both to red| BOTANY-BAY ANECDOTE. hair and grey. of the bodies belonging to the wreck could vide it of every hue; from the ruddy of UST before the embarkation of the be found, their fituation would juftify his affertions. This being readily accepted by the officers, he found means to divert them, whilft he fent a boat's crew that ftuck a pipe in the mouth of every Dutch corpfe that was wafhed on fhore with the tide, and put their hands in their pockets. In fine, the aftonifhed Mynheers loft their money and their credit. A MORAL THOUGHT. But vain purfuits, and joys as vain, So nightly on the flowing tide, And glittering moons were feen below. But when the tide had ebb'd away, The scene fantastic with it fled, A bank of mud around me lay, And fea-weed on the river's bed. Of the Decrease in Respect towards Women. T is a mark of the times, that we daily degenerate in our high refpect and efteem for the ladies, and it deferves enquiry to what cause the diminution of their influence on our manners is to be attributed. Is it that they are lefs lovely than in former times? No! for beauty is evidently on the increase. Art is now fo complete a handmaid, fo adroit and intelligent-has fo much contrivance and resource, that almost every woman is beautiful, "They are like the lilies of the valley, -they toil not, neither do they spin, and yet Solomon in all his glory, was not arrayed like one of thefe." A woman, now-a-days, requires nothing from nature but height, and a couple, or, at least, one sparkling eye. Shape fhe is fupplied with by the trufsmaker. Teeth fingly, or in fets, by the dentist. buxom nature, to the pale of delicate refinement; they have rouge for the evening, and pearl for the midnight affembly. Is it owing to the neglect of education? No! for at no time was the female mind more richly endowed, or more elegantly accomplished. The caufe, therefore, is alone to be attributed to the degeneracy of the men. We have broken the line that divided the fexes. We are dwindled into a race of feminine coxcombs, and inftead of paying our court to beauty in its true and proper fhape, in the female form, are become enamoured of our pretty felves, and ftudy only the ornament of our thin and fickly perfons. convicts for their deftined fettlement, the Rev. Mr. the Chaplain, waited upon the Bishop of London in great tribulation, and wifhed for his Lordship's immediate advice on a matter of the utmost importance. The worthy prelate, unable to anticipate the urgent concern, begged the Rev. Chaplain to explain himself, and deThey affert their rank, and they main-pend upon every advice and affiftance in tain it by the establishment of a fancy fu- his power. "My Lord, I have just found perior to our own. out, that the vileft convict on board the fleet, may be made a happier man than myfelf!"-How fo, rejoined his Lordfhip"Because, by my affiftance, he will be enabled to take unto himself a wife: now. my Lord, fhould choice or neceffity compel me to an attachment of the tender kind, there will be no one impowered to tye for me the connubial knot!"-The venerable Bifhop failing at the fingularity of the argument, recommended a temporary celibacy, as the moft becoming expedient on the awful occafion!-To this the impatient Chaplain oppofed the maxim of Saint Paul, "It is better to marry than to burn."-His Lordship admitted the full force of this fcriptural truifm, and therefore faid, the only advice he could give in that cafe to preferve the purity of the priesthood was, that his reverence fhould marry before he failed. The Chaplain thanked his Lordfhip for his paftoral advice, of which, he faid, he would avail himfelf if poffible: though the time was rather limited.Accordingly he went and paid his addresses that evening to the daughter of a respectable tradefinan in the city,-married her the following morning, confummated the expeditious nuptials the next evening, and the fucceeding dawn embarked with his enterprizing help-mate, for the delicious colony of Botany Bay. Hence arifes the indifference for the fex, and hence all thofe vile imputations which difgrace and degrade us. ODE On the Death of Mifs LANGHAM, Daughter of Sir JAMES LANGHAM. I I. Wander 'midft this twilight shade, And mourn the dear departed Maid, Whofe magic pencil to the eye, A new creation could fupply. II. But, O that art which breath did give To canvas,-could not make her live! As vain my grief-tho' tears flow fast;And yet that grief with tears must last! III. Yet while I haunt this once-lov'd bow'r, Which oft has charm'd the weary hour; The vernal leaf is loft to me, And dead the buds of ev'ry tree. IV. The winding ftream that glides along; The bird of evening's foothîng fong; The mountain's brow, the floping dale; The murm'ring of the cooling gale; V. Have loft their charms!-the blooms are gone, Trees put a darker aspect on ; The ftream difgufts, that wanders by, REMARKABLE INSTANCES of COURAGE. URING the unhappy contest in America, an officer was ordered to a station of extreme peril-feveral of those around him fuggefted many pretexts by which he might evade the dangerous employment affigned him, to which he made this noble reply-" I thank you, my worthy friends, for your folicitude-I know I can easily fave my life, but who will fave my honour if I fhould adopt your advice?" In one of thofe fevere days that happened in the Southern Provinces, Lord Rawdon fent a grenadier to reconnoitre a rebel poft from which his troops were annoyed. The foldier, with the utmost calmness and East, who find it neceflary to part with a intrepidity, examined the ground, not- | Profeffor, who lectures on-Culling Simwithstanding the enemy kept up an in-ples. ceffant fire, and wounded him in two or three places: having deliberately finished his obfervations, he returned and gave an account of its fituation, without betraying the fmalleft fymptom of pain. Lord Rawdon, however, perceiving his blood run very freely, pulled out his purfe, and prefented it to him with a warm panegyric upon his heroic conduct.-This, however, the generous grenadier refufed, faying, that his acceptance of it would "his tarnish whatever merit his action may be fuppofed to have."-This brave fellow was foon after promoted, and now commands the very company in which he was then only a private. Not lefs heroical than this was the conduct of the Irish Brigade at the fiege of Savannah, which, when Comte D'Eftaign madly propofed to take by a coup de main, Comte Dillon, anxious to fignalize his regiment, propofed a reward of 100 guineas to the firft of his grenadiers that planted a faffine in the Foffe which was expofed to the whole fire of the garrifon-but no one offered to advance. Comte Dillon in a rage began to upbraid them with cowardice, to which the Serjeant-Major replied, Monfieur le Comte, had you not held out a fum of money as the temptation, your grenadiers would have one and all prefented themfelves. They did fo inftantly, and out of 194, of which the company confifted, only go returned alive. It is propofed that this Academy confift of a certain number of Profeffors who fhall each have his separate science. The common arts of playing cards, and the mystery of Pharo, &c.-under the head-Natural Philofophy. The ways of cogging dice, palming aces, &c. as practifed by fome of the firft artifts-under the head of Experimental Philofophy. The game of E O-under the head Belles Lettres. The language of each game, curfing, fwearing, and every fpecies of "dicer's oaths" under the head of-Logic. The manner of treating young heirs, novices, to be taught by the Botanical and those who have attained confiderable not interfere with other business, none of Meffrs. Whift, Pharo, and Co. St James's- a Or, let me range thefe craggy cliffs among, But vain's the wish thofe facred haunts to pierce, The calmer pleafures of an humbler scene; + In this fingularly romantic valley, there are feveral portions of rocks that have the appearance of the Druidical rocking stones. To the Editor of the COUNTY MAGAZINE. O correfpondent having yet fatisfied The following is handed to us as a Copy of Saint Swithin's Day, there will be a fucthe numerous enquiries refpecting the prevalent idea, "that if it rains on Letter from a Drefs-Agent in Town to give me leave to tranfcribe the followceffion of fhowers for forty days after," his Employer in the Country. We cannot ing from an old tract on hufbandry, printabfolutely vouch for its authenticity. Weed in 1546, entitled the Goode Hufbandonly know that "fuch Things are." man's Guide. By this it fhould feem that St. Swithin was actuated by fome vow to give us an inceffant foufing for forty days, for pious purposes therein men "MADAM, PER bearer you will receive your tioned. rump altered according to defire, except the left hip, which I could not feparate farther from the other without putting a piece between, which would have quite altered the fhape. I called upon Twice twentye dayes to weepe he'll furelye vowe, Mr. -, concerning your teeth, do for a confiderable time, barring acciwhich are not yet completed; but bids "To washe foule finnes from mortals here below. me affure you, that your prefent fet will dents. Your shoulder fhall be altered as you defire, and I would have fent the Parish blush, but it is not yet arrived. I fhall be proud to receive your commands, and am, Madam, &c. "If on his Calende daye in any yeere, "Swythein's goode Sainte doe fhedde a mournful ❝teere; "Yours, &c." OFT let me climb yon mountain's awful brow, MONSAL-DALE is about four miles from Yours, &c. A RECENT TUMBLE DOWN. THROUGH the fondness of his mother, Charles was indulged with an education in the ftable, instead of the. academy. He ftudied horfes and dogs, and knew more of the fpavin and windgall, than he did of Homer and Virgil. -His family was honourable, as to ancient pedigree and good eftates: but the the care of the boy devolved on the mo father dying in the minority of this fon, ther. Converfing with none but grooms, his manners were unpolifhed ;—and indulged in the exceffes of youth, his temper was obftinate and overbearing.-Heir. and his companions, being always of the mineering 'Squire wherever he went; to an excellent fortune, he was the dolower clafs, he was fure to be Monarch of his company, and dictator of the table. As foon as he arrived at his first year of maturity in law, he mounted a phaeton, purchased a temporary wife, and owned a pack of hounds;-but whether they were harriers or beagles, or fox-hounds or flaghounds, it matters not ;-they were the moft expenfive, perhaps, and of courfe might be the laft.-This was the fummit of his glory. His hunters were well chofen, his fervants in fmart livery, and his houfe a continued fcene of debauchery. Gentlemen, however, were never feen in his company, except when money was to be made at play;-for not having been polifhed for the drawing-room or coffeehoufe, there was no apprehenfion of meeting him at any genteel place of public refort. He feldom appeared out of boots, but when going to bed; and then he was fo intoxicated, as not to know his night-cap from his flippers. Defpifed by his fuperiors,-fhunned by his equals, robbed by his companions,— and, in the true moral fenfe of the fable of Acteon eaten up by his hounds, he was obliged to part with almost every thing, to prevent the horrors of the King's Bench.-He fold his dogs, his horfes, his phaeton, his gig,-and difcharged his fervants: but he fell into unusual contempt, with little remorfe in his own breaft, and without any pity from the world. The ftable was his delight: and therefore, with the little fhattered remnant of his once ample fortune, he joined in partnership with a noted London stablekeeper; and what with jobbing and livery, and buying and felling, and letting out hunters, he has been, for two or three years, enabled to fubfift as the fervant of thofe very gentlemen, at whofe table, with prudence, he might have been received as an equal. hunt, within a morning's ride of the demned on the fixth night of its performance, an interview took place in the GreenRoom between the Author, Booth, and Wilks ;-which, in its poetical drefs, is thus: The Lady-Wife is to act as Landlady to the 'Squire, and has been, for fome years paft, qualifying herself for that office.-She is now, from a genteel, flender woman, become quite en bon point, When the pack'd Audience from their poft retir'd, can crack her bottle,-tafte bitters and And Julius in a gen'ral hifs expir'd,brandy with every cuftomer-thunder out Sage Booth to Cibber cry'd-"This motly play an oath,-fecrete a card,-fhort-measure From Corneille robb'd has feen its final day!" the oats,-keep the ftable-boys in order,--Rubbing his firm, invulnerable brow, and mafter the 'Squire, when drunk, as well as any female oftler in England. SCRAP S. Mr. Editor, Send, for your mifcellany, an anec- I'm fix'd—I'm bent a fingle life to pass: The Queen, however, having died foon The Lady, who this refolution took, The Bard reply'd-" The Critics must allow LITERARY PATRONAGE. Augalerrus, the Projector, in his Book of Chemistry,-afferted, that he had found out a very certain method of making gold; -this work he dedicated, with great pomp, to Pope Leo X. whom he waited upon, Holiness, after paffing many encomiums in expectation of a liberal reward. His on his ingenuity, went up to his cabinet, and unlocking one of the drawers took from it an empty purse, remarking at the fame time, that as he knew how to make gold, he only stood in need of a purse to hold it!" I wish all patrons would exercise the caution and judgment of Pope Leo,-it would make for the caufe of genius;-we then fhould not fee "DEDICATED BY PERMISSION" fo frequently to books, deftitute of every degree of merit.-A very ftupid Novel, a few weeks fince, was announced to the public, under the aufpices of a certain amiable Duchefs, whofe virtues are the praise of every lip, and whofe beauty is the charm of every eye. Of her Grace, it will naturally be concluded, that it was her goodness of heart, and not the conviction of her mind, that bestowed the approbation. That no lady is poffeffed of a more elegant tafte,-the world have been long convinced. Suffer me, however, to fubjoin fome lines on the fubject, that were written with a pencil, in a leaf of the novel in question. What, however, will moft furprize the reader, is, that this very man, in order to improve his new way of life, has juft taken a hedge-alehouse, or rather a hilly ale-house, adjoining to the very spot where his ancestors lived in fplendor and magnificence, and from whence he can view the beautiful feat, of which he was born Lord and Mafter-and which he, not long fince, held in poffeffion. This ale-houfe was, about fix years past, enlarged by a madman,-whofe immenfe fortune, at laft, fell a prey to city-sharpers.- Charles is now going to fit it up as a hunting-lodge for thofe citizens who "I hate Punning!"-faid a gentleman can just afford to pay for a bed, drink well known at Bath," it is the lowest a bottle, and hire or keep a horfe and no of all wit."-" Then (replied the Pundoubt there will be fine fport with trap-fter whom he addreffed) you must acknowhares, annifeed drage, and fuch kind of ledge it to be the foundation of all wit!"field-exercifes, as are always certain to This, as fomething better than a pun, afford entertainment to thofe Monday mer- may be ftiled a tolerable scrap. chants, holiday-fhopkeepers, idle apprentices, and London jockeys-who can I faw the identical pane on which thefe verfes were written, when Somerset-house was pulled down;-the firft diftich was, it is true, obliterated, but the laft was very diftinct;-and, I believe, has been inferted in fome of the old magazines ;but I think the Lady's lines were never before in print,-nor any part of this in- The Coiner ftamps,-for gold to make it pass! çident. OF PUN S. To continue the theme,-upon Cibber's "Ha, foft you now!-the fair GEORGINA's name, To fanctify a book, so poor,-fo tame! GEORGIUS DET GRATIA—thus on brass I am, &c. CLINCAILLIER. ODE TO SOLITUDE. Lothert the joys a fplendid world can give, With thee, O heav'nly folitude, to live. Oft when the fun, defcending to the deep, Whose rocky fide the rifing furges lave. Thro' fome lone cloifter, at the midnight hour, Or let me feek that defart wild retreat, Where Thracian Orpheus told his tale of woe; Or where, of old, proud Athens held her feat, And fmooth Iliffus' filent waters flow. Give me to roam where dwelt the Druid train, I have read of a mifer, who had a bookkeeper, who eat very faft, and wrote flow;"I with, faid the mafter to him,-yon would eat with your hands,-and write with your teeth!"-Ought not this fatire to be directed against the Minifter,-who neglects the HEIR to the CROWN,-and yet at the fame time, is as active as poffible in gratifying the claims of his hirelings? What think you of the following Epigram?-I have feen it in print,-but not in a correct ftate. EPIGRAM. Laura and I for kiffes, play'd -She would keep ftakes,-I was content: But when I won,-she would be paid, I-angry, afk'd her,-what he meant. Nay fince, fays he, you're in this wrangling strain, Give back my kisses, and take yours again, When Conftantine the Great, who was the firft Chriftian Emperor, engaged and defeated in battle, Maxentius,-a CROSS is Laid to have appeared in the heavens, with this infcription, in hoc figno vinces.It thence became the eftablifhed motto of the Emperor-and all the camp, by the perfuafion of the Priests, were induced to believe they faw it:-one of the foldiers having afterwards expreffed fome doubts of the fact, narrowly faved his life from the incenfed monks, by remarking, that he did not understand Latin! O D E. In Part imitated from HORACE. WHIL Ulla fi juris, &c. HILE Laura, clasp'd within your arms, For me alone, you'll keep those charms, For me, each youth forfake: Yet to thofe youths, like oaths you made, If of each violated vow, Your ringlets bid lefs wanton flow, Your face ordain'd lefs fair; I will conclude with a tale of a Prieft, Had bid your eyes no paffion speak, which has much comic effect: A Butcher, with a heart as hard as stone, Quite callous to a gentle lambkin's moan; Seizes his fatted prey with horrid grin, And whistles while the knife he plunges in. This cruel deed Nell faw with piteous look, And in fad accents thus her feelings spoke. Thou barb'rous wretch! thus unprovok'd to spill "So fweet a creature's blood that ne'er did ill. "See how it ftruggles, how it pants for life! "The murderer's jaws clasping the bloody knife! "To do a deed like this! were I to gain "The whole round world! No! fuch a bribe were vain!" Thus Nell most piteously exclaims and feels! While all the time, good foul, SHE SKINS LIVE EELS! Your bofom cease to swell; I might believe-but now 'tis vain; For while with heav'n you play Unhurt-nay, daily beauties gain, You daily will betray. A. Z. AN IMPROMPTU, On feeing so many young Men of Fashiou BATHING in the Sea at BRIGHTON, while the Ladies walk, NEGLECTED, on the STEYNE, By a LADY. HOUGH the Greek fabulifts of old, The world's weak tenants oft have told, That Venus, fhap'd in beauty's mould, Had rifen from the main; Our fimp'ring youth, more mad than brave, Restrain their wand'rings, Common Senfe, Have multiply'd by dozens. Shall LUTTREL ope her fable eyes, May hurry from the ocean. ANECDOTE Of the DUCHESS of KINGSTON. HIS Lady was always remarkable BY PETER PINDAR, Esq. Set to Music by Mr. JACKSON, of EXETER. OW long fhall hapless Colin mourn, TH for having a very high fenfe of her Hhe cold regard of Delia's eye? own dignity: being one day detained in her carriage by a cart of coals that was unloading in a very narrow street, fhe leans with both her arms upon the door, and afked the fellow, "How dare you, Sirrah, to ftop a woman of quality in the street?" "Woman of quality!" (replied the man)" Yes, fellow," (rejoined her Grace) "don't you fee my arms upon my carriage?" "Yes, I do, indeed," (he answered)" and a pair of d-d coarfe arms they are.' EXTRACT FROM A POEM ON RELIGIOUS TOLERATION. M AN ftands or falls as by his life's decreed, Nor thould his conduct reprobate his creed. Yet by the rancour of vindictive zealMen's crimes are faid their tenets to reveal. A vulgar charge-unjust as 'tis untrue, Which lays to Doctrine what to Nature's due! In this falfe zeal as in a mirror's feen, Conceiv'd in frenzy and brought forth in spleen : Nor louder's Confcience vices to reprefs, Than tenets which all Chriftian fects profess. The knave of either ftands despis'd by all, Why to his faith ascribe th' apoftate's fall? To God and man our duty's fo ally'd, That we neglect as oft as we divide. One facred lamp fupplies the kindred flame, The Christian and Philanthropist's the same. 'Tis in neglect free-thinkers have their rife, What first they disobey-at last despise. So thofe who will not-hear Religion's call, For felf-defence must prove there's none at all. In filence Reafon fighs, refigns her fway, And to their paffions leaves fuch men a prey. To whom, like fycophants, they lend an ear, And like that tribe, from whom no truth they hear. Religion-nurfe of wisdom-fhield of truth,— Of age the glory-as the guide of youth; Who fquares his conduct by its rules, we'll find, To live respected and to die resign'd. Of its tranfcendence 'tis one cogent teft, That-the beft of Chriftians are of men the beft, Whilft in its Julians we can only trace The blots and ftigmas of the human race. Who t` cafe their confcience, and their lusts fulfil, Depose bright reafon, and bow down to will. The fame devotion Indian tribes infpires: They own the God that grants all their defires. Aug. 8, 1787. A CITIZEN of the WORLD. The heart whofe only guilt is love, Can Delia's foftnefs doom to die? Sweet is thy naine to Colin's ear! Yet though I lov'd thee more than, life, And murmur'd in the distant shade. When happier Shepherd has thy fimile, Yet, fhould the virgin yield her hand, MILITARY CHARACTER OF SIR EDWARD HUGHES, KNIGHT OF THE BATH. HIS gallant Admiral is confidered ΤΗ as a character very juftly entitled to the gratitude of his countrymen, and although little known till his diftinguished actions in the Eaft Indies brought his merits. to light, yet he nevertheless in the earlier parts of his life, gave many striking proofs of perfonal courage, and nautical skill. He has been twice honoured with the command of his Majefty's fhips employed in the Eaft Indies, and his conduct was fo much approved of the first time he ferved on that ftation, that on his return to England he was rewarded with a red ribband; and when that diftant quarter of the globe was threatened with a powerful attack, both by fea and land, Sir Edward Hughes was folicited by the King and the Eaft India Company to resume the command in the Indian feas. It is well known what a vigorous and determined opponent Sir Edward had to contend with in the French Admiralle Baillie de Suffrein, who, prior to his arrival in India, had given the most irrefragable proofs of his military genius and intrepidity in his attack of Commodore Johnstone's fquadron in the road of Port Praya. In all the engagements between the two fleets, the British Admiral's fhip, the Superbe, was ever to be seen amidst the hottest of the fire; and when the frequent repetition of these bloody contefts, in regions fo warm and remote from the feat of empire, added to the diftreffes they laboured under for fresh provifions, is duly confidered, furely Sir Edward Hughes merits our warmest praise and admiration. His conftant attention to the fick and woundedthe juftice and impartiality of his promotions in the fleet-his vigorous and ready co-operation with the land forces, when required on any important occafion, give him every poffible claim to the appellation of an excellent, brave, and judicious officer. STAN ZA S. On the Author of the BALLAD of the CHILDREN. in the WOOD. By Mr. JERNINGHAM. LET others praife the martial song, Which rushes as a flood, And round the harp attentive throng, Let me that humble bard revere, Say, little MARY,* prattling maid, Ah! not on WESTMINSTER'S proud ground, Go where the meek of heart are found, Where WOLTON's limpid streamlet flows, The hamlet's ftraw-roof'd fane. Faine fays, the Bard is laid; Fame, too, reports, that when the bier * The daughter of Sir T. Beauchamp, of Langley Park. |