Upright Man in Essex-street, who, having never given a corrupt judgment, may be called, next after his holiness at Rome, the only infallible judge upon earth; and the said Upright Man's determination shall be final and conclusive to all parties.

And forasmuch as it appears, by experience, that this beneficial branch of commerce cannot well be carried on without entries to be made in writing, which, by their great number, might occasion oversights and mistakes, without some prudent restriction; it is humbly proposed, that all appointments, made for any longer time than three months to come, shall be declared utterly null and void: and in case a lady should happen, upon the day prefixed within that term, to be in labour, or to be no longer than one week brought to bed; or if, for the unseasonable hours, her husband should withhold her pin-money, or chain her by the leg to the bed-post; she shall incur no penalty for her nouappearance, there being no doubt of her good inclination.

But no plea of a husband newly buried, or of weeds delayed by a mantua-maker, or any other matter of mere fashion or ceremony, shall be in any wise ad mitted.

And, to the intent that no breach of faith may pass unpunished, it is proposed, that the lady making default shall, at the next party-meeting, take the chair nearest the door, or against a cracked pannel in the wainscot, and have no skreen at her back, unless she shall give her honour that her memorandum paper was casually left in her folio Common Prayer book at church, and that she only perused it there during the collect: in which case her punishment shall be respited till the next meeting, where she shall produce the same, and youch it to be the true original.

And lastly, because it sometimes happens that a par

ty is broken, and a hand wanting, by misnomer,* and other blunders of servants carrying messages: it is proposed, that the servant so offending, if it be a valet de chambre, shall wait in a common livery for the space of one month; and if he be a footman, the booby shall be tossed in a blanket in the middle of Stephen's Green.

Wrong name. 9.

THE SUBSTANCE

OF

WHAT WAS SAID BY THE DEAN OF ST. PATRICK'S TO THE LORD MAYOR AND SOME OF THE ALDERMEN OF DUBLIN;

WHEN HIS LORDSHIP CAME TO PRESENT THE SAID DEAN WITH HIS FREEDOM IN A GOLD BOX, ABOUT THE YEAR 1736.

WHEN his lordship had said a few words, and presented the instrument, the Dean gently put it back, and desired first to be heard. He said, "He was much obliged to his lordship and the city for the honour they were going to do him; and which, as he was informed, they had long intended him; That it was true, this honour was mingled with a little mortification, by the delay which attended it; but which, however, he did not impute to his lordship or the city; and that the mortification was the less, because he would willingly hope the delay was founded on a mistake; for which opinion he would tell his reason." He said, "It was well known, that some time ago, a person with a title was pleased, in two great assemblies, to rattle bitterly somebody without a name, under the injurious appellation of a tory, a jacobite, an enemy to King George, and a libeller of the government;

which character,” the Dean said, “many people thought was applied to him; but he was unwilling to be of that opinion, because the person who had delivered those abusive words had, for several years, caressed and courted, and solicited his friendship, more than any man in either kingdom had ever done; by inviting him to his house in town and country, by coming to the Deanery often, and calling or sending almost every day when the Dean was sick, with many other particulars of the same nature, which continued even to a day or two of the time, when the said person made those invectives in the council and house of lords. Therefore, that the Dean would by no means think those scurrilous words could be intended against him; because such a proceeding would overthrow all the principles of honour, justice, religion, truth, and even common humanity. Therefore the Dean will endeavour to believe, that the said person had some other object in his thoughts; and it was only the uncharitable custom of the world that applied this character to him. However, that he would insist on this argument no longer: but one thing he would af firm and declare, without assigning any name or making any exception, That, whoever either did, or does, or shall hereafter at any time, charge him with the character of a jacobite, an enemy to King George, or a libeller of the government, the said accusation was, is, and will be false, malicious, slanderous, and altogether groundless. And he would take the freedom to tell his lordship, and the rest that stood by, that he had done more service to the Hanover title, and more disservice to the pretender's cause, than forty thousand of those noisy, railing, malicious, empty zealots, to whom nature has denied any talent that could be of use to God or their country, and left them

only the gift of reviling, and spitting their venom, against all who differ from them in their destructive principles, both in church and state. That he confess

ed, it was sometimes his misfortune to dislike some things in public proceedings in both kingdoms, wherein he had often the honour to agree with wise and good men; but this did by no means affect either his loyalty to his prince, or love to his country. But, on the contrary, he protested that such dislikes never arose in him from any other principles, than the duty he owed to the king, and his affection to the kingdom. That he had been acquainted with courts and ministers long enough, and knew too well that the best ministers might mistake in points of great importance; and that he had the honour to know many more able, and at least full as honest, as any can be at present." The Dean farther said, “That since he had been so falsely represented, he thought it became him to give some account of himself for above twenty years, if it were only to justify his lordship and the city for the honour they were going to do him." He related briefly how, "merely by his own personal credit, without other assistance, and in two journeys at his expense, he had procured a grant of the first-fruits to the clergy, in the late queen's time; for which he thought he deserved some gentle treatment from his brethren. That, during all the administration of the said ministry, he had been a constant advocate for those who are called the whigs; had kept many of them in their employments, both in England and here, and some who were afterward the first to lift up their heels against him."

He reflected a little upon the severe treatment he had met with upon his return to Ireland after her majesty's death, and for some years after : "That, being forced to live retired, he could think of