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wonderfully pleased with the little Gothick ornaments of epigrammatical Conceits, Turns, Points, and Quibbles, which are so frequent in the most admired of our English Poets, and practised by those who want genius and strength to represent, after the manner of the ancients, simplicity in its [natural1] beauty and perfection.

Finding my self unavoidably engaged in such a conversation, I was resolved to turn my pain into a pleasure, and to divert my self as well as I could with so very odd a Fellow. You must understand, says Ned, that the Sonnet I am going to read to you was written upon a Lady, who showed me some verses of her own making, and is perhaps the best Poet of our age. But you shall hear it. Upon which he begun to read as follows:

To Mira, on her incomparable Poems.

I.

When dress'd in Laurel wreaths you shine,

And tune your soft melodious notes,

You seem a Sister of the Nine,

Or Phoebus self in Petticoats.

II.

I fancy, when your Song you sing,

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(Your Song you sing with so much art)

Your Pen was pluck'd from Cupid's Wing;

For ah! it wounds me like his Dart.

Why, says I, this is a little Nosegay of conceits, a very lump of Salt: Every verse hath something in it that piques; 25 and then the Dart in the last line is certainly as pretty a sting in the tail of an Epigram (for so I think your Criticks call it) as ever entered into the thought of a Poet. Mr. Bickerstaffe, says he, shaking me by the hand, every body knows you to be a judge of these things; and to tell you truly, 30

1 So S; C and T have "naturally."

Dear

I read over Roscommon's translation of Horace's Art of Poetry three several times, before I sat down to write the Sonnet which I have shown you. But you shall hear it again, and pray observe every line of it, for not one of them shall pass without 5 your approbation.

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When dress'd in Laurel wreaths you shine.

That is, says he, when you have your Garland on; when you are writing verses. To which I replied, I know your meaning: A Metaphor! The same, said he, and went on :

And tune your soft melodious notes.

Pray observe the gliding of that verse; there is scarce a Consonant in it: I took care to make it run upon Liquids. Give me your opinion of it. Truly, said I, I think it as good as the former. I am very glad to hear you say so, says he; 15 but mind the next :

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You seem a Sister of the Nine.

That is, says he, you seem a Sister of the Muses; for if you look into ancient Authors, you will find it was their opinion, that there were Nine of them. I remember it very well, said I; but pray proceed.

Or Phoebus self in Petticoats.

Phœbus, says he, was the God of Poetry. These little instances, Mr. Bickerstaffe, show a Gentleman's reading. Then to take off from the air of Learning, which Phœbus and the Muses have given to this first Stanza, you may observe, how it falls all of a sudden into the familiar; in Petticoats!

Or Phoebus self in Petticoats.

Let us now, says I, enter upon the second Stanza. I find the first line is still a continuation of the Metaphor.

I fancy, when your Song you sing.

It is very right, says he; but pray observe the turn of words in those two Lines. I was a whole hour in adjusting of them, and have still a doubt upon me, whether in the second Line it should be, Your Song you sing; or, You sing your Song. You shall hear them both:

I fancy, when your Song you sing,
(Your Song you sing with so much art.)

OR,

I fancy, when your Song you sing,

(You sing your Song with so much art.)

Truly, said I, the Turn is so natural either way, that you have made me almost giddy with it. Dear Sir, said he, grasping me by the hand, you have a great deal of patience; but pray what do you think of the next verse?

Your Pen was pluck'd from Cupid's Wing.

Think! says I; I think you have made Cupid look like a little Goose. That was my meaning, says he; I think the ridicule is well enough hit off. But we now come to the last, which sums up the whole matter.

For Ah! it wounds me like his Dart.

Pray how do you like that Ah! Doth it not make a pretty figure in that place? Ah! It looks as if I felt the Dart, and cried out at being pricked with it.

For Ah! it wounds me like his Dart.

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My friend Dick Easy, continued he, assured me, he would 25 rather have written that Ah! than to have been the Author of the Æneid. He indeed objected, that I made Mira's Pen like a Quill in one of the lines, and like a Dart in the other. But as to that Oh! as to that, says I, it is but supposing Cupid to be like a Porcupine, and his Quills and Darts will be 30 the same thing. He was going to embrace me for the hint;

but half a dozen Criticks coming into the room, whose faces he did not like, he conveyed the Sonnet into his pocket, and whispered me in the ear, he would show it me again as soon as his man had written it over fair.

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N° 249. Saturday, November 11. 1710.

Per varios casus, per tot discrimina rerum,

Tendimus.

Virg.

From my own Apartment, November 10.

I was last night visited by a friend of mine who has an inexhaustible fund of discourse, and never fails to entertain his company with a variety of thoughts and hints that are altogether new and uncommon. Whether it were in complaisance to my way of living, or his real opinion, he advanced the following Paradox, That it required much greater talents to fill up and become a Retired life, than a life of Business. Upon this occasion he rallied very agreeably the Busie men of the age, who only valued themselves for being in motion, and passing through a series of trifling and insignificant Actions. In the heat of his discourse, seeing a piece of money lying on my table, I defie (says he) any of these active persons to produce half the Adventures that this Twelvepeny-piece has been engaged in, were it possible for him to give us an account of his Life.

My friend's talk made so odd an impression upon my mind; that soon after I was a-bed I fell insensibly into a most unaccountable Resverie, that had neither Moral nor Design in it, and cannot be so properly called a Dream as a Delirium.

Methoughts the Shilling that lay upon the table reared it 25 self upon its edge, and turning the face towards me, opened

its mouth, and in a soft silver sound gave me the following account of his Life and Adventures:

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I was born, says he, on the side of a mountain, near a little village of Peru, and made a voyage to England in an Ingot, under the Convoy of Sir Francis Drake. I was, soon after my arrival, taken out of my Indian habit, refined, naturalized, and put into the British Mode, with the face of Queen Elizabeth on one side, and the Arms of the Country on the other. Being thus equipped, I found in me a wonderful inclination to ramble, and visit all the parts of the new world into which I was brought. The people very much favoured my natural disposition, and shifted me so fast from hand to hand, that before I was five years old, I had travelled into almost every corner of the nation. But in the beginning of my sixth year, to my unspeakable grief, I fell into the hands of a miserable old fellow, who clapped me into an Iron Chest, where I found five hundred more of my own quality who lay under the same confinement. The only relief we had, was to be taken out and counted over in the fresh air every morning and evening. After an imprisonment of several years, we heard some body 20 knocking at our Chest, and breaking it open with an Hammer. This we found was the old man's heir, who, as his Father lay a dying, was so good as to come to our release: He separated us that very day. What was the fate of my companions I know not: As for my self, I was sent to the Apothecary's shop for a pint of Sack. The Apothecary gave me to an Herb-woman, the Herb-woman to a Butcher, the Butcher to a Brewer, and the Brewer to his Wife, who made a present of me to a Nonconformist Preacher. After this manner I made my way merrily through the world; for, as I told you before, we Shillings love nothing so much as travelling. I sometimes fetched in a Shoulder of Mutton, sometimes a Play-book, and often had the satisfaction to treat a Templer at a twelve-peny

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