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THE ALMANAC MAKER. 43

'Strange, I should never of a dumpling dream! 'But goody, tell me, where, where, where's the seam?'

'Sir, there's no seam (quoth she) I never knew, i That folks did apple dumplings sew;'— 'No!' cry'd the staring monarch, with a grin; 'How, how the devil, got the apple in?'

THE ALMANAC IVLiKER.

(freseac.)

Whiie others dwell on mean affairs,
Monarchs, their councils and their wars,
Philaster roves among the stars.

In melancholy silence he
Travels alone and cannot see
An equal for his company. •

Not one of all the learned train
Like him can manage Charles's wain,
Or motion of the moon explain.

He tells us when the sun will rise,
Points out fair days, or clouded skies ;—
No matter if he sometimes lies.

An annual almanac to frame,
And publish with fictitious name,
Is all his labour all his aim.

He every month has something new,

le every month has something And mostly deals in what is true, Informing all, and cheating few.

[graphic]

44 THE ALMANAC MAKER.

Our sister moon, the stars, the sun,
In measured circles round him run;
He knows their motions—every one.

The solar system at his will-
To mortify such daring skill,
The comets—they are rebels still.

Advancing in its daily race,

He calculated each planet's place;

For can the moon elude his chace.

In dark eclipses-hen she would hide
And be awhile the cloistered bride,
He pulls her veil of crape aside.

Each passing age must have its taste:
The sun is in the centre placed,
And fuel must supply his waste;

But how to find it he despairs,
Nor will he leave his idle cares,
Or Jove to mind his own affairs.

He prophesies the sun's decay;
And while he would his fate delay,
New sorrows on his spirits prey."

The pole has left its ancient track,
The signs are all a.going back,
Indeed they are a stubborn pack-
So much upon his shoulders laid,
He reads what Aristotle said;
Then calls the comets to his aid.

The people of the lunar sphere
(As he can plainly make appear)
Are coming nearer year by year.

[graphic]

THE INDIAN CONVERT. 45

Though others often gaze in vain,
Not one of all the starry train
Could ever puzzle his strong brain.

The ram, the twins, the shining goat,
And Argo in the skies afloat,
To him are things of little note:

And that which now adorns the bear,
(I heard him say) the sailor's star,
Will be, in time, the lord knows where;

Will shine, he says, in southern skies,
And be observed by other eyes,
Which now to see him he defies.

Thus nature waiting at his call,

His book, in vogue with great and small,

Is sought, admired, and read by all.

How happy thus on earth to stay,
The planets keeping him in pay—
And when 'tis time to post away,

Old Saturn will a bait prepare,
And hook him up from toil and care
To make new calculations there.

THE INDIAN CONVERT.

(AMERICAN MUSEUM.)

When our fathers were driven by British oppression,

Of their dear native country to quit the possession,

And fled to this land to enjoy their opinions.

They were welcom'd by Indians to Indian domin

46 MONSIEUR KANJFERSTANE.

Now zealous to propagate christian religion

In such an idolatrous, ignorant region.

They courted the natives with generous liquor,

Expecting that they'd become christians the quicker.

In a neighbouring wigwam resided two brothers, The heathen was one's faith, but christian the others, To the English his visits were frequent and pleasant' They gave him good liquor and many a present.

The heathen begrudg'd the good luck of his brother, And resolv'd to share with him some way or other, 'How is it,' quoth he, *the white folks are so

friendly, 'To make you such presents, and treat you so

kindly?' He answer'd, 'I gave them a piece out of scripture, 'And now and then quote them a piece of a chapter; 'This pleases them well, and good cider they give, . 'If you do the same the same you '11 receive.'

Quoth he to himself, 'So I will if I 'm able,'
Then getting some names by rote from tlie bible,
He went and sat himself down on the floor,
And said 'A.dam, Eve, Cain, the Devil, Job,Koar.'

He was ask'd, with surprise, what he meant by

all this? Quoth he' 1 mean cider, why could not you guess?'

MONSIEUR KAN1FERSTANE.

Once on a time, a little French Marquis,
For travel felt a mighty inclination:

To shew himself, and foreign parts to see,
He undertook a bold peregrination.

At Dieppe, he found a sloop just under weigh,
By Dutchmen mann'd, and bound for Amsterdam.

MONSIEUR KANIFERSTANE. 4T

Wind and tide serving, off he sail'd away,

And. soon sea-sick beyond finesse or sham, Close in the cabin he preferr'd to nestle,

There, faint and languid, for a space he doz'd; Till, from the increas'd commotion in the vessel,

That land might be in sight he well suppos'd; So to the deck heclimb'd with empty maw, And, sure enough. Dutch terra-firma saw. While in the cabin sick and sad he lay,

Tho' atrue Frenchman he ne'er dreamt of talking; But, when on deck his spirits grew more gay.

And his blood 'gan to circulate with walking, He recollected that he had a tongue.

Now, tho' a Frenchman, French with ease can jabber. And doubtless thinks all other ears are hung

Like those he left at hpme, yet a Dutch swabber Is apt enough no other speech to know

Than that which first he learn'd from Mother Froio. Such was the case of all this trunk-hos'd crew.

The marquis struck with wonder and delight, EnrapturM gaz'd on objects all so new;

At length a sumptuous palace caught his sight, Which, proudly rising from the water's side,

Shew'd its new-painted front with flow'rets gay, While trim responsive ganlens spreading wide,

Displayed Dutch taste in regular array.

Anxious to know who own'd the pleasing scene,
The marquis bowing, with a grinning face,

Demanded of a tar. in French 1 ween,

'To whom belong'd that mostenchanting place?'

The tar1, who knew as much of French as Greek,
Ey'd him at first with something like disdain;

Then as he shifted round his quid to speak,
With growling voice, cry'd 'Ik kanniet verstaan.*

• This means, "I do not understand you."

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