MONSIEUR TONSON. The Frenchman now perceiv'd 'twas all in vain And strait in rage began his crest to rear- 35 Utt'ring the old enquiry, calmly stood-The name of Thompson rais'd the storm so high, He deem'd it then the safest plan to fly, 66 With, Well, I'll call when you 're in gentler mood.' In short, our hero, with the same intent, They threw out water--for the watch they call, Monsieur at last was forc'd his house to quit: It happen'd that our wag about this time, On some fair prospect sought the Eastern clime, Six ling'ring years were there his tedious lot; At length, content, amid his rip'ning store, He treads again on Britain's happy shore, And his long absence is at once forgot. To London, with impatient hope he flies, And the same night, as former freaks arise, 6 He fain must stroll the well known haunt to trace; Ah, here's the scene of frequent mirth,' he said, 'My poor old Frenchman, I suppose, is dead-Egad, I'll knock and see who holds his place." 36 LODGINGS FOR SINGLE GENTLEMEN. With rapid strokes he makes the mansion roar, Capricious turn of sportive Fortune's wheel! And King's detested voice, astonish'd, hears. As if some hideous spectre struck his sight, His senses seem'd bewilder'd with affright, His face, indeed bespoke a heart full sore-Then starting, he exclaim'd, in rueful strain, Begar! here's Monsieur Tonson come again!' Away he ran--and ne'er was heard of more! LODGINGS FOR SINGLE GENTLEMEN. (COLMAN, JR.) WHO has c'er been in London, that overgrown place, Has seen Lodgings to Let,' stare him full in the face: Some are good, and let dearly; while some, 'tis well known. Are so dear, and so bad, they are best let alone. WILL WADDLE, whose temper was studious and lonely, Hired lodgings that took Single Gentlemen only; LODGINGS FOR SINGLE GENTLEMEN. 37 He enter'd his rooms, and to bed he retreated; Next night 'twas the same!-and the next ;-and the next; He perspired like an ox; he was nervous, and vex'd; Week pass'd after week; till by weekly succession, His weakly condition was past all expression. In six months, his acquaintance began much to doubt him; For his skin, ‘like a lady's loose gown, hung about him; He sent for a Doctor and cried, like a ninny, I have lost many pounds-make me well-there's a guinea.' The Doctor look'd wise:-'a slow fever,' he said: Prescribed sudorificks, and going to bed. Sudorificks in bed, (exclaim'd Will) are humbugs; I've enough of them there, without paying for drugs.' WILL kick'd out the Doctor:-but when ill indeed, E'en dismissing the Doctor don't always succeed; So. calling his host, he said, Sir do you know, 'I'm the fat single Gentleman, six months ago? 6 'Look 'e, landlord, I think,' argued Will, with a grin, ; "That with honest intentions you first took me in But from the first night-and to say it I'm bold'I have been so damn'd hot, that I'm sure I caught cold,' Quoth the landlord- till now, I ne'er had a dispute; 'I've let lodgings ten years ;--I'm a Baker to boot; E 38 ADVENTURES OF In airing your sheets, sir, my wife is no sloven; And your bed is immediately--over my Oven.' The Oven!!!' says Will--says the host, Why this passion? In that excellent bed died three people of fashion. Why so crusty good sir?-Zounds' cries Will in a taking. Who would't be crusty, with half a years baking?' WILL paid for his rooms; cried the host with a sneer "Well, I see you've been going away half a year, 'Friend. we can't well agree Will said; But I'd rather not perish, while bread.' yet no quarrel' you make your ADVENTURES OF YOUNG WHIPSTITCH. A TALE. A LONDON tailor, as 'tis said, By buckram, canvas. tape and thread, With which their uncouth bills abound. } The son, a gay, young swagg'ring blade, YOUNG WHIPSTITCH. There beaux and belles his taste admire, The purse-proud coxcomb took the hint, There with some bucks he drank about, } 39 |