THE OLD CHEESE. (KING.) YOUNG Slouch the farmer had a jolly wife, He said, 'That the next Tuesday noon would shew I'll grant your wish,' cries she, that you may see "'T were wisdom to be govern'd still by me.' The guests upon the day appointed came, Each bowsy farmer with his simp'ring dame. 'Ho, Sue!' cries Slouch, why dost not thou ap pear? 6 'Are these thy manners when aunt Snap is here?? THE OLD CHEESE. 'I pardon ask,' says Sue; I'd not offend 131 Any my dear invites, much less his friend.' Slouch by his kinsman Gruffy had been taught To entertain his friends by finding fault, And make the main ingredient of his treat His saying-There was nothing fit to eat: "The boil'd pork stinks, the roast beef's not enough, The bacon 's rusty, and the hens are tough; 'The veal's all rags, the butter 's turned to oil; And thus I buy good meat for sluts to spoil. "'T is we are the first Slouches ever sat 'Down to a pudding without plumbs or fat. "What teeth or stomach 's strong enough to feed 'Upon a goose my grannum kept to breed? 'Why must old pigeons, and they stale be drest, "When there's so many squab ones in the nest? This beer is sour; 't is musty, thick and stale, 'And worse than any thing except the ale.' Sue all this while many excuses made: Some things she own'd; at other times she laid The fault on chance, but oft'ner on the maid. Then cheese was brought. Says Slouch-This e'en shall roll; 'I'm sure 't is hard enough to make a bowl: } 'Pray let me rise,' says Sue, my dear; I'll find Siouch turn'd his head, saw his wife's vigorous hand Wielding her oaken sapling of command, Knew well the twang--' Is 't the old cheese my dear?" 'No need, no need of cheese,' cries Slouch I'll swear, I think I've din'd as well as my lord mayor.' EPIGRAM. (FORT FOLIO.) A STINGY fellow, 'tis no matter who, Had, once upon a time,' some work to do; He told a man, they called him Sam, I think, That if he'd do this job, he 'd give him drink, Such as could not in any place be sold, For it was then exactly ten years old. The work is done, the miser gives the dram, How old do you call dis Massa,' says poor Sam, Ten years exactly,'-- Ten years!' in a rage Says Sam, He be damn little of his age.' 6 A COLLEGE STORY. (FRENEAU.) A SON of a college for science renowned, ing Huge volumes as dry as the deserts of Zaara, One Saturday evening, when socially met THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER. This orderly, decent, exemplary set 133 Then talked away cheerly 'till two of the clock, 'Till their eyes, like the eyes of old Moses, did shine When he came from the mount, and the cliffs of his rock, At the sins of the people to fume and to fret. Now the bell striking three, they agreed to adjourn; And next with a head-stone disabled his head; When thus the poor FELLOW was heard with a groan THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER. A GRASSHOPPER had chaunted it away, Now that cold weather was set in, Began to look most piteous thin. Away she hopp'd to see her neighbour, th' ant, And begg'd some small relief she'd grant N 134 THE PEASANT AND HIS ASS From her abundant store; Or else, e'er half the winter o'er, How did you spend quoth she, the harvest time? You'll have at least, the comfort for 't, THE PEASANT AND HIS ASS. As on the road a peasant drove his ass, He dar'd the pound, and turn'd the beast into it. With choice to crop and time to eat, Graz'd here and there the field all over, Then pranc'd and rear'd and toss'd his head, And in the thick on't made his bed, Like one that's nurs'd in clover. Amidst this jubilee the foe appears; The clown cries out, Haste, haste away! At which our ass prick'd up his ears, And bray'd, No friend, I choose to stay: Will those folks load a double pack Upon my back? |