THE PIG AND THE MAGPIE. Here lie the midriff and the breast, THE PIG AND THE MAGPIE. (PINDAR.) COCKING his tail, a saucy prig, To pull some hair, forsooth, to line his nest ; 105 Was by himself, and not the pig, possest. The pig set up a dismal yelling; Who, like a fool had built it midst a bramble: In, manfully he sallied, full of might, Determin'd to obtain his right, And midst the bushes now began to scramble. He drove the magpie, tore his nest to rags, And, happy on the downfall, pour'd his brags: But ere he from the brambles came alack! His ears and eyes were miserably torn, His bleeding hide in such a plight forlorn, He could not count ten hairs upon his back. A COUNTRY QUARTER SESSIONS. THREE or four parsons, full of October, Three or four 'squires, between drunk and sober; Three or four lawyers, three or four liars; Three or four constables, three or four cryers; Three or four parishes bringing appeals, Three or four writings, and three or four seals; Three or four bastards, three or four whores, Tag, rag, and bobtail, three or four scores; Three or four statutes, misunderstood ; Three or four paupers, all praying for food, Three or four roads, that never were mended; Three or four scolds-and the session is ended, EPITAPH ON A BLACKSMITH. My sledge and hammer lie declin'd; THE FIRST PAIR. ADAM alone could not be easy, So he must have a wife, an' please ye; Out of a rib, sir. from his side, THE THOUGHT, OR, A SONG OF SIMILIES. I'VE thought the fair Narcissa cries; 6 'Tis like the Dutch--'tis like the moon- "Tis like a doctor-like a whaleWhy are my eyes, sir, like a sword? For that's the thought upon my word. 'Ah! witness every pang I feel ; "The deaths they give the likeness tell. 'A sword is like a chair you'll find, 'Because 'tis most an end behind. 'Tis like a key, for twill undo one; "Tis like a purge, for twill run thro' one; "Tis like a flea, and reason good, "Tis often drawing human blood.' Why like a beggar? You shall hear; 6 "Tis often carried 'fore the May'r ; 108 THE ASTRONOMER'S ROOM. "Tis like the sun because 'tis gilt, "Besides it travels in a belt. 'Tis like the Dutch, we plainly see, 'Because that state, whenever we A push for our own int'rest make, 'Does instantly our sides forsake.' The moon? Why, when all's said and done, 'A sword is very like the moon; For if his majesty (God bless him) On him before him kneeling low, For its not long in drawing out. "Tis like a doctor; for who will 'Dispute a doctor's power to kill?” But why a sword is like a whale Is no such easy thing to tell; But since all swords are swords, d'ye see, Why, let it then a backsword be, 'Which if well us'd, will seldom fail 'To raise up somewhat like a whale.' THE ASTRONOMER'S ROOM. ONE day I call'd, and, Philo out, Item.--A bed without a curtain, A candlestick, a greasy night cap, A spitting pot to catch what might hap; Two stockings darn'd with numerous stitches, A piece of shirt, a pair of breeches ; THE FLY AND SPIDER. A three legg'd stool, a four legg'd table, THE FLY AND SPIDER. (PINDAR.) 109 • Goon-morrow, dear Miss Fly,' quoth gallant Grim, • Good-morrow, sir,'—reply'd Miss Fly to him. 'Walk in, Miss, pray, and see what I'm about.' 'I'm much obliged t' ye,' Miss Fly rejoin'd; My eyes are both so very good I find, That I can plainly see the whole without." L |