THE PIG AND THE MAGPIE.

Here lie the midriff and the breast,
With loads of indigestion prest;
Here lies the liver, full of bile,
That ne'er secreted proper chyle;
Here lie the bowels, human tripes,
Tortur'd with wind, and twisting gripes;
Here lies the livid dab, the spleen,
The source of life's sad tragic scene;
That left side weight that clogs the blood,
And stagnates nature's circling flood;
Here lie the nerves, so often twitch'd
With painful cramps and poignant stitch;
Here lies the back, oft rackt with pains;
Corroding kidneys, loins and reins;
Here lies the skin, by scurvy fed,
With pimples and eruptions red;
Here lies the man from top to toe,
That fabric fram'd for pain and wo.

THE PIG AND THE MAGPIE.

(PINDAR.)

COCKING his tail, a saucy prig,
A Magpie hopp'd upon a Pig,

To pull some hair, forsooth, to line his nest ;
And with such ease began the hair attack,
As thinking the fee simple of the back

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Was by himself, and not the pig, possest.
The Boar look'd up as thunder black to Mag,
Who squinting down on him like an arch wag
Inform'd Mynheer some bristles must be torn;
Then busy went to work, not nicely culling;
Got a good handsome beakfull by good pulling,
And flew without a 'thank ye' to his thorn.

The pig set up a dismal yelling;
Follow'd the robber to his dwelling,

Who, like a fool had built it midst a bramble: In, manfully he sallied, full of might, Determin'd to obtain his right,

And midst the bushes now began to scramble. He drove the magpie, tore his nest to rags, And, happy on the downfall, pour'd his brags: But ere he from the brambles came alack! His ears and eyes were miserably torn, His bleeding hide in such a plight forlorn, He could not count ten hairs upon his back.

A COUNTRY QUARTER SESSIONS. THREE or four parsons, full of October, Three or four 'squires, between drunk and sober; Three or four lawyers, three or four liars; Three or four constables, three or four cryers; Three or four parishes bringing appeals, Three or four writings, and three or four seals; Three or four bastards, three or four whores, Tag, rag, and bobtail, three or four scores; Three or four statutes, misunderstood ; Three or four paupers, all praying for food, Three or four roads, that never were mended; Three or four scolds-and the session is ended,

EPITAPH ON A BLACKSMITH.

My sledge and hammer lie declin'd;
My bellows too have lost their wind;
My fire's extinct, my forge decay'd;
My vice is in the dust all laid;
My coal is spent, my iron gone,
My nails are drove, my work is done.
My fire-dried corpse lies here at rest:
My soul, smoke-like, soars to be blest.

THE FIRST PAIR.

ADAM alone could not be easy,

So he must have a wife, an' please ye;
And how did he procure this wife,
To cheer his solitary life?

Out of a rib, sir. from his side,
Was form'd this necessary bride:
But how did he the pain beguile?
How? He slept sweetly all the while;
And when this rib was re-applied,
In woman's form to Adam's side,
How, then, I pray you, did it answer?
'He never slept so sweet again, sir.'

THE THOUGHT, OR, A SONG OF SIMILIES.

I'VE thought the fair Narcissa cries;
What is it like, sir?-Like your eyes-
'Tis like a chair—'tis like a key—
"Tis like a purge-'tis like a flea-
"Tis like a beggar-like the sun—

6 'Tis like the Dutch--'tis like the moon-
"Tis like a kilderkin of ale-

"Tis like a doctor-like a whaleWhy are my eyes, sir, like a sword? For that's the thought upon my word. 'Ah! witness every pang I feel ; "The deaths they give the likeness tell. 'A sword is like a chair you'll find, 'Because 'tis most an end behind. 'Tis like a key, for twill undo one; "Tis like a purge, for twill run thro' one; "Tis like a flea, and reason good, "Tis often drawing human blood.' Why like a beggar? You shall hear; 6 "Tis often carried 'fore the May'r ;

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THE ASTRONOMER'S ROOM.

"Tis like the sun because 'tis gilt, "Besides it travels in a belt. 'Tis like the Dutch, we plainly see, 'Because that state, whenever we

A push for our own int'rest make, 'Does instantly our sides forsake.' The moon? Why, when all's said and done, 'A sword is very like the moon;

For if his majesty (God bless him)
When county sheriff comes t' address him,
'Is pleas'd his favours to bestow

On him before him kneeling low,
This o'er his shoulders glitters bright,
And gives the glory to the knight (night:)
"Tis like a kilderkin no doubt,

For its not long in drawing out. "Tis like a doctor; for who will 'Dispute a doctor's power to kill?” But why a sword is like a whale Is no such easy thing to tell;

But since all swords are swords, d'ye see, Why, let it then a backsword be, 'Which if well us'd, will seldom fail 'To raise up somewhat like a whale.'

THE ASTRONOMER'S ROOM.

ONE day I call'd, and, Philo out,
I op'd the door and look'd about;
When all his goods being full in view,
I took this inventory true:

Item.--A bed without a curtain,
A broken jar to empty dirt in,

A candlestick, a greasy night cap,

A spitting pot to catch what might hap;

Two stockings darn'd with numerous stitches,

A piece of shirt, a pair of breeches ;

THE FLY AND SPIDER.

A three legg'd stool, a four legg'd table,
Were fill'd with books unfit for rabble;
Sines, tangents, secants, radius, co-sines,
Sub-tangents, segments, and all those signs ;
Enough to show the man who made em
Was full as mad as he who read 'em:
An almanack of six years standing,
A cup with ink, and one with sand in;
One corner held his books and chest,
And round the floor were strew'd the rest;
That all things might be like himself,
He'd neither closet, draw or shelf;
Here, p- pot, sauce-pot, broken platter,
Appear'd like heterogeneous matter.
In ancient days the walls were white,
But who 'gainst damps and snails can fight?
They're now in wreathy ringlets bound,
Some square, some oval, and some round;
The antiquarian there may find
Each hieroglyphic to his mind ;
Such faces there may fancy trace,
As never yet knew time or place;
And he who studies maps or plans,
Has all the work done to his hands;
In short, the room, the goods, and author,
Appear'd to be one made for t' other.

THE FLY AND SPIDER.

(PINDAR.)

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• Goon-morrow, dear Miss Fly,' quoth gallant Grim,

• Good-morrow, sir,'—reply'd Miss Fly to him. 'Walk in, Miss, pray, and see what I'm about.' 'I'm much obliged t' ye,' Miss Fly rejoin'd; My eyes are both so very good I find,

That I can plainly see the whole without."

L